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mistoferin -> RE: Friendship after relationship..... (3/5/2005 8:31:48 PM)
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I met my first Dom at the age of 15...He was 28. We were together three years and split because I was obviously not of an age where I could sustain such a relationship long term. He now lives in Florida and we remain in occasional contact to this day.
I then married my husband (who was hopelessly vanilla), although he did try. It came to a point though, where I realized that I could not live without fulfilling this part of myself on a constant basis and we divorced. We had gotten to the point that we loved each other dearly, but it was more on the level of brotherly/sisterly love. I still love him as a member of my family, my children's father. We remain close friends still.
My ex Sir was the toughest one that I have had to deal with. We were together many years and I lived and breathed for the purpose of serving Him. He was everything I had ever wanted in a man, in a lover, in a Dominant, and in a best friend. We loved each other intensely. We split due to reasons that were beyond control...not a lack of love.
He was a recovering alcoholic and fell off the wagon....hard. The last three years were a nightmare. Where there once was control...there became only abuse. It was literally a life or death decision for me. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. After we split, I was basically non-functional for at least a year. I know it sounds strange but I honestly did not know how to live day to day.
I was in a professional career and managed to get through that, although looking back on it I think I was just on autopilot. The hard part for me though were the hours at home. I was so used to being told what to wear, what to cook for dinner, when to go to bed... I just didn't what to do. I would come home from work and cry and cry....and then I would cry some more.
It was a very financially hard time as He had left huge legal bills to be paid due to the troubles that He got Himself into at the end. I had 1 child at home yet to care for and things were very, very tight. Meat on the table was generally what I could shoot in the fields out back. I just tried desperately to keep us fed and the lights on.
I learned alot about my inner strength that year and alot about who I am. Although I must admit that I am still somewhat angry over the depth things got to at the end, I still love Him and He still loves me. I imagine we always will, but it is just one of those situations of too much water under the bridge. He knows that I could never trust Him again. We still remain on good terms and I am sure that we will always remain friends. We have the same circle of friends so on occasion we run into each other. He continues to drink though, so we do not maintain close contact.
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