When is the right time to collar?

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When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 1:40:36 AM

Lighttouch2000

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I would like to know how can you tell or know when is it the right time to collar someone?

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 2:39:11 AM

Jasmyn

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Is there a purpose to this collar? Collars will mean different things to different people. Best to define why you want to place a collar about someone and then concern yourself when.

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 5:19:50 AM

Interesdom

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jasmyn
Is there a purpose to this collar? Collars will mean different things to different people. Best to define why you want to place a collar about someone and then concern yourself when.

I quite agree. It very much depends on what the collar is for and what it is supposed to mean to the people involved.

Be as sure as you can that the collar will not mean more to the submissive than they think it means but if it is their first ever collar, it may well have a greater emotional impact on them than they expect - not always positive.

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 8:40:54 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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I would find it refreshing for a dom NOT to use a collar :) I see too many subs cling to their collars like lifeboats instead of learning and pushing their own sense of security, without external pretty trinkets to show off.

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 10:34:25 AM

Alexander

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I like red/black ribbon. Its just hard to hook a leash into

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 10:45:44 AM

tomtom1877

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There is nothing worse than removing a collar that was given too soon. It causes a tremendous amount of brain damage in a sub and I see this online all the time.

A collar is a reward and it shouldn't be given in haste.

A sub should be taught to strive for it, to reach for it and to work toward it as a goal in their training.

Some Doms collar to corral their sub, to keep them in their "flock," so to speak. I don't like that thinking. An uncollared sub that wanders off would have wandered off anyway. Collaring doesn't keep them inslaved.

So, for me, it is the golden ring in my subs training. The first big accomplishment in their new lives with me.

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 3:28:20 PM

Lovinit

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I agree with all of the responses. I am a collared slut who did not receive my own personal collar until I proved myself. I was put through many different circumstances and situations to earn my collar. I believe collars should not be just given out. I am sure everyone has heard of having to earn what you want!!!

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 3:51:17 PM

BeachMystress

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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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To me, there are training collars and formal collars. To me, if you have to announce a "collar of consideration," IE going steady, you're either very young or very insecure. Collars have a very traditional place in BDSM and symbolize deep commitment.

I feel collars are a lifelink. It is not something to be undertaken lightly or easily on either side. A training collar, to me, is akin to engagement and the formal collar the same as marriage. Unfortunately, as we see too often today, institutions that should be sacred, such as marriage or collaring, are undertaken with the idea that if they do not work, they can just be undone. I see the velcro collars more online than in real life, thankfully. Most people are more knowledgeable once they hit the real time scene and aren't in the offer-everyone-a-collar mode

As to when they should be offered, when are you ready to make a life commitment of some type to a person? Sometimes, people know it is right after a very short time, other times it takes years. There is no rush to collar, and I do not feel it is "earned" per say. Collars do not have to reflect a love commitment, but whatever relationship they symbolize, love/service/devotion is for life.

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 4:38:41 PM

Voltare

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To keep from waxing poetic and doting on each possible scenerio, I'll be blunt.

I firmly believe it is for the submissive to ask/beg for a collar.

Obviously, this isn't such a simple issue, as the weight (in my mind) of the collar is as BeachMystress states, that it carries the same kind of weight and committment as a wedding band. If a submissive just popped the question while we are watching the Simpsons, it would probably be unexpected. Rather, well before the collar is asked for/given it should have been discussed from top to bottom, left to right, inside and out.

As suggested, the collar should mean.... blah blah blah blah blah to me. That doesn't mean it means the same for you. Whatever you wish it to mean in your relationship, is entirely your perogative. Just know what you are getting into, and make sure it meets your needs (and the needs of your partner.)

Stephan

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 6:30:20 PM

domtimothy46176

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If the purpose of the collar is to formalize a long-term/permanent relationship, you might consider the collar to be as symbolic as a wedding ring and take your time accordingly.
Timothy

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RE: When is the right time to collar? - 3/6/2005 9:14:46 PM

subgreg

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tomtom1877

A collar is a reward and it shouldn't be given in haste.

A sub should be taught to strive for it, to reach for it and to work toward it as a goal in their training.

I do not feel this idea is wrong... just slightly off. I serve Ma'am because I love her and wish to make her happy. I will be collared soon (though I feel I am already), and when that happens, it will not be as a reward for service well done, but rather a natural progression of our love for, and commitment to, each other.

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