Torn Apart

Torn Apart (Full Version)

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grlneedstolearn -> Torn Apart (2/2/2007 9:04:46 AM)
This girl is now under consideration, but feels guilty about letting the other dom know. The other dom and this girl have been friends for a while, both in this lifestyle and in a vanilla setting, but now feels completely guilty for "letting him down". Has anyone else felt this way before? Thank you

littleone35 -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 9:23:22 AM)
Yes i understand how you feel when i met my Master i was talking with other Doms. It was hard to tell them and dash their hope i had found who i wanted but if you wait you will hurt your Dom friend even more. Matt's littleone

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 9:33:14 AM)
It could be that your guilt is telling you that this isn't the right choice for you. The other person may be disappointed, but as long as you haven't let them on or made promises you must now renege on, they will be a big adult and deal with it fine- that's not YOUR burden to selfishly take for yourself. However, I have to say, why wouldn't this person already know you're dating and considering others unless you've not talked about it before? One would think that if you've made the decision to be under consideration with someone, then this person is someone you've been talking and dating and seriously getting to know eachother for awhile. Your guilt is irrational and selfish. That doesn't mean it's not there and something to deal with. So meet with it head on, be the strong woman you want to be inside- say it honestly, compassionately, and admit that you feel guilty but want to be honest with him.

KatyLied -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 9:39:37 AM)
Which Dom wanted the pics? (isn't anyone else curious?)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 9:46:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Which Dom wanted the pics? (isn't anyone else curious?) LOL well yeah. But I want to see her develop a little more before I make solid judgements.

juliaoceania -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 9:47:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn This girl is now under consideration, but feels guilty about letting the other dom know. The other dom and this girl have been friends for a while, both in this lifestyle and in a vanilla setting, but now feels completely guilty for "letting him down". Has anyone else felt this way before? Thank you I have told people that were interested in me that I was more interested in someone else and pursuing that. Did I feel guilty about that? No. Life is too short to take responsibility for other people's feelings. If I have not misled someone, I see no reason to feel guilty because they did not get what they wanted from me. My feelings are just as valid as theirs. I might regret that I could not return their affection, and feel some sympathy for their plight having experienced unrequited feelings in the past myself... but guilt... no.

grlneedstolearn -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 9:59:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross It could be that your guilt is telling you that this isn't the right choice for you. The other person may be disappointed, but as long as you haven't let them on or made promises you must now renege on, they will be a big adult and deal with it fine- that's not YOUR burden to selfishly take for yourself. However, I have to say, why wouldn't this person already know you're dating and considering others unless you've not talked about it before? One would think that if you've made the decision to be under consideration with someone, then this person is someone you've been talking and dating and seriously getting to know eachother for awhile. Your guilt is irrational and selfish. That doesn't mean it's not there and something to deal with. So meet with it head on, be the strong woman you want to be inside- say it honestly, compassionately, and admit that you feel guilty but want to be honest with him. Yes I have told the other dom about my guilt and he's willing to continue being friends

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 10:04:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn Yes I have told the other dom about my guilt and he's willing to continue being friends You make it seem as if he's being magnanimous. Unless he's got some humongous crush on you or deep unspoken love, what else would he do?

KatyLied -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 10:28:23 AM)
I wonder if he's one of those "let me know if it doesn't work out..." types.

AquaticSub -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 11:21:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I wonder if he's one of those "let me know if it doesn't work out..." types. Aren't they so annoying?

mnottertail -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 11:28:54 AM)
how did this guy come off as a bad guy? he didn't post it--he might not even know we are talking about him..... Ah, fuck um...he shoulda been here I guess. Ron

toservez -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 11:53:28 AM)
When I went searching I would start up correspondence with many people and it was always hard for me to tell one that I was no longer interested or there were one or more people I liked better. I still bristle at a few of the phone calls I had to make. It is life and you have to make the decision that is best for you and not the one that would cause the least guilt. If the person is a friend they will understand and still be your friend. Maybe not the second you tell them but eventually. Time heals and your friend will be OK. Continuing to lead him on or give him some hope is not a good thing to do. Plan out how and what you are going to say and take some deep breaths and do it. You will only start to feel better after it is done.

proudsub -> RE: Torn Apart (2/2/2007 11:59:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Which Dom wanted the pics? (isn't anyone else curious?) I was thinking exactly the same thing. If it's the one that's being dumped i certainly wouldn't send naked pics, he might get vengeful with them.[:o]

grlneedstolearn -> RE: Torn Apart (2/3/2007 4:31:51 PM)
This girl has gotten over it, and likes her new dom a lot. She thanks everyone for their suggestions, and everything else.

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