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Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/2/2007 2:10:09 PM

outlier

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Title says it all, here is the link

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa017&articleID=79C583A1-E7F2-99DF-3BE62D88C9C352E0

What do you think?

At the end of the article there is a link to
other articles about online dating. Enjoy.
I look forward to your thoughts.

Outlier

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/2/2007 2:37:43 PM

toservez

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There needed to be a study on this?

People are people. Some lie. Online is still an evolving medium. The first people to use it for finding people were consider losers and desperate by ones who did not. Now where it is more accepted although still has a reputation you do get the people who lie way out of the realm of reality or class because they do not take the medium seriously. I think in future years you will see the blatant liars slowly go down in numbers.

I am sorry but there is no difference in small lies people tell online then what people tell in person. If you think everyone online is lying and everyone you meet in a bar or somewhere else tells the honest truth I would call you one big sucker. People self idealize everywhere they go, it is just when these fibs and half truths from online do not get lost in the air but stay until the profile is deleted.

It still comes down to what effort you put in, knowing the differences between your wants and needs and to be able to communicate that in words. This is where I see the big problems come in with people and online dating. It is not the gross lies of a person playing around but the person at home going well what the hell I went golfing once, I will put that down as a hobby or insisting on things from another person that they have never been able to land in person. To me these types of people hurt the online reputation more because they are sincere in their search but have not been sincere with themselves.

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/2/2007 3:00:30 PM

MaryT

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It's an interesting article. That people lie is not surprising but it is inexplicable, especially lies concerning appearance.

"Virtual dating" is an interesting concept too. The only way I see it as helpful would be for people who cannot meet in person. Otherwise, why not live dangerously and just go see a real museum?

I think people in general are much more likely to lie when the chances are good that the lie will be a success. So:
Much more likely to lie in written word, less likely to lie over the phone and least likely to lie in person.

I'm not sure a general personals or dating service would be comparable to one that is more specific.

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/2/2007 6:42:23 PM

juliaoceania

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I think that people lie online, but I know they lie in the real world too. I have seen people do it when I used to work in a club that was extremely popular in my area. I saw people take off the wedding rings, people I knew that were living with someone pick up on someone else. I know of women that lied about their age. I knew people that did not tell men they met about their kids.. on and on and on.... There are lying playahs everywhere.

Basically since many people lie, when you find an honest one hold on to them. My Daddy never misrepresented himself or his life to me, and vice versa.

Edited to add, after reading this article, I would rather use adult fetish sites than eharmony any day of the week

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/2/2007 6:53:45 PM >

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/2/2007 7:12:02 PM

SeveredNeuron

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SciAm isn't always the most intelligent magazine in the world.. usually they are a few months late with the scientific goss and sometimes over dramatise things to make them seem like we've just figured it out... like recombination being an exciting new technology we have just figured out.. when we've been using it in one form or another since the dawn of civilisation :P. (and we have known about it for a few decades..).

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/2/2007 7:24:46 PM

MaryT

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Edited to add, after reading this article, I would rather use adult fetish sites than eharmony any day of the week

What a chore eharmony was. I'd rather live a single, asexual, old maid than go through that again.

MaryT

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/2/2007 8:02:07 PM

obey1

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I read the article too.

OK, I lied, I didn't read it.

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/2/2007 8:04:50 PM

angelic

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Dayummm... nice pic! (sorry for interrupting the thread)... i am just sayin'

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/2/2007 8:11:14 PM

mixielicous

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i met Mine online altho not on a kink site

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/4/2007 2:29:32 AM

DaddyBEAST

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It's unfortunate, but there always seems to be a game to played at any level of relationships.

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/4/2007 6:12:58 AM

VirginSoccerBoy

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I totally agree with Toservez. I dont lie online, I actually find it quite satisfying to tell the truth and see what the reaction is from the other party.

Just like in real life be wary of things that sound too good to be true, and outlandish stories told by those who are online 22 hours a day. It is quite improbable that those spending that much time online have any non-imagined experiences.

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/4/2007 11:43:13 AM

cyberdude611

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These studies that bash online dating always talks about how the other person could be lying...

So I guess I can assume people are always telling the truth when meeting in real life?

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/4/2007 1:31:00 PM

toservez

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I am sorry but I read these types of articles that have an agenda and ignore basic scientific rules when doing research and it just pisses me off.

The article goes into how people lie a little here and lie a little there and make up some conclusion that people that are online are bigger liars then people in real life. In order for this to be valid they would have also had to do some test in public to see if people lie when meeting in person.

The fact that of the small lies why there is more online is not that the sincere online lie more but they put more information on a profile then when they go to a bar. In a profile you have age, height, weight, hobbies, interests and essay sections. There is just more stuff to stretch the truth with.

Go to a bar and meet a person. Ask them their weight, they will lie. Ask them what they do for a living; it will be put in the most grandiose way possible. Ask them their age when they are significantly older then you see the years get shaved off. Ask them how they spend their free time, hear fabulous stories of cherishing their friends and family and how they barely watch TV or are on their computer. Look at a woman’s breast and guess padded or push up bra. Look at a man’s hair and wonder if they are coloring it.

A percentage of people lie/bend the truth. A percentage do not, the degree of which the sincerely looking ones that lie would be interesting to me as I cannot see how lying about something major helps a sincere person in the long run.

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RE: Scientific American on Online Dating - 2/4/2007 3:34:54 PM

cloudboy