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Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/6/2005 8:56:35 AM

womansboy

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

I sometimes wonder if the kind of true loving and intense Mistress and slave relationship I dream about really exists. I know that the mechanics of day to day living will have to be respected. I also know that it if difficult to find a female who is attractive, has that magical chemistry, is capable of emotional commitment, is fun and intelligent and educated, and yet wants to own her man as a slave and express her love in the form of unleashing her sexual sadist side. A woman who would enjoy kissing his tears away after deliberately invoking them with a cane as he is tied at her feet. A woman who would enjoy sneaking him away from a vanilla dinner to the parking lot and force him to kiss her bottom and then take him back as if nothing had happened, except from the knowing looks and smile she gives him.

I just love the idea of a loving slave relationship. It is not a fantasy but what I am, I do not choose it but must peruse it because it is what I am. I know there are a lot of voyeurs, but this is truly who I am, the slave of a woman I have not found yet. Surely there are woman who are well adjusted and have the complimentary need. Who want to be female and feminine and loved and yet need to torture, train and own the man they love.

Am I doomed to look for ever?

I would really like to know because if that is true, I may as well just go to the vanilla side and seek my mate there. I am not unattractive and have a personality, I want a mate and if there are no true mistresses I will satisfy myself with vanilla love.

womansboy.

Post #: 1

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/6/2005 9:03:48 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

It exists.

Good luck on your search.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 2

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/6/2005 9:15:54 AM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

Hello womansboy,

No, you aren't doomed to look forever, but it sure feels like it sometimes, doesn't it? I also seek this, as a Domme seeking a loving relationship with a sub, and finding the right combination is very difficult. Vanilla relationships are difficult enough, and the added component of D/s makes it even more difficult, in my opinion. I often wonder if D/s specific sites are the way to go when seeking the relationship I want, because while I might be guaranteed to find the D/s side I desire from the start, I don't always find the other qualities I seek in a person/relationship. On vanilla sites, I might have an easier time connecting with someone as far as vanilla things, but then have the issue of bringing up my D/s needs.

I've really tried recently to stop looking so hard. I've often heard that as soon as you stop looking for something, it comes along when you least expect it. I'm focusing right now on enjoying my life without a partner. If I meet subs, I am trying to enjoy the time I have with them in the present and stop worrying about whether they will develop into anything more serious.

I wish you luck in finding your partner :-)

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 3

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/6/2005 12:27:02 PM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
Status: offline

In a word.......

NO

stormi does not believe that it does from the Dom/Master/Mistress end of things.

Do sub/slaves feel that way for their Dom/Master/Mistress..... oh yes.. very much so...

But seldom does it find the path both ways.

stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 4

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/6/2005 2:15:48 PM

WulfMan

Posts: 115
Status: offline

Hey bub,
This relationship you seek exists. I've found it myself, maybe not to the extent of your liking, but the same basis. I love her and she loves me that's all that matters for me. You just gotta keep on looking. Keep your head up and stride strong.

Hooooyaaahhh!

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

Post #: 5

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/6/2005 2:22:53 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

I feel it is quite obtainable as my sub and I have a very loving relationship. I know of other women out there who also want the same thing we have and are working in relationships to find it. You have to first, be the type of sub that woman is looking for, and second, mesh with her outside of the D/s realm. It can be hard to find.

While you're waiting to find the woman you will serve for life, what are you doing to make yourself better for her?.. OH hell, I just went and read your profile. Your profile makes it very clear you're not available. When I was searching, I'd have passed you by without another thought. "I work full time, so a I can not commit to a full time arrangement yet, however, I would consider working towards that with the right situation." means you're NOT AVAILABLE to those women seeking a relationship. Considering the fact that you are not available for a relationship, why are you bothering wondering if you'll ever find the right RELATIONSHIP? *deep sigh*

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 6

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/6/2005 5:43:59 PM

MistressFire70

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: womansboy

...A woman who would enjoy kissing his tears away after deliberately invoking them with a cane as he is tied at her feet. A woman who would enjoy sneaking him away from a vanilla dinner to the parking lot and force him to kiss her bottom and then take him back as if nothing had happened, except from the knowing looks and smile she gives him.

I just love the idea of a loving slave relationship....

you've had a chance, as have most of us, to spent a lot of time dreaming about the perfect relationship and the leather equivalent to hot sex sounds sounds great. How about the flip side? What would make the relationship REAL for you and what realities are you prepared to face? Have you had a chance to think about that side of things? If so, please share.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 7

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/6/2005 8:32:35 PM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

Midear Boy-

Some of our Ladies have given some excellent answers to your question, but I'd like to add my own views.

I think it's a mistake to be looking for a 'Mistress'- in fact, I'd go so far as to say it is mistake to be looking for a relationship.

Consider, instead, that what you should really be looking for is a person- ideally, a women who is comfortable in her power, and looking for a man not unlike yourself (she is out there, I promise). Having found her- working out the realtionship will likely be a matter of time and effort on both your parts.

I think a lot people in this enviroment lose track of that, and end up frustrated.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 8

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/7/2005 7:27:33 PM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

Yes it is possible to find that kind of relationship but it takes time, patience, and some luck.

I was talking to My submissive last night about something similar. For him the most important part of the relationship is the vanilla side with the D/s side being a much appreciated extra. For Me, the D/s side is paramount with the fact that W/we are loving enough to get married being a huge bonus. Part of this is because he is fairly new to the lifestyle and I am more comfortable as a Domina then a wife (that word still has some bad connotations for Me). We both want the same things though and I count Myself very fortunate to have found a natural submissive. Many of the things I value the most about his behaviour are things he takes for granted should be done.

When I met him I was on vacation and definitely NOT looking for a life partner. Please note the points that BeachMystress and topcat made because those points are extremely important.

Gentle Lady

_____________________________

All things are possible to those who have patience, try, and are willing to learn.

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 9

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/9/2005 6:07:35 PM

RealTimePrincess

Posts: 25
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

Well, there are a lot of overweight women in this lifestyle. If a slave is not attracted to that, he's going to be looking forever.

The young, thin Dominant Women tend to be pro's. So, sorry Charlie.

(in reply to GentleLady)

Post #: 10

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/9/2005 6:33:05 PM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealTimePrincess

Well, there are a lot of overweight women in this lifestyle. If a slave is not attracted to that, he's going to be looking forever.

The young, thin Dominant Women tend to be pro's. So, sorry Charlie.

If he's going soley on physical attraction and basing a loving relationship on that alone, whether it's lifestyle or vanilla, he's going to be looking forever. Your last statement is simply a generalization that is not necessarily true, in my opinion.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to RealTimePrincess)

Post #: 11

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/10/2005 8:57:17 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretDomme

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealTimePrincess

Well, there are a lot of overweight women in this lifestyle. If a slave is not attracted to that, he's going to be looking forever.

The young, thin Dominant Women tend to be pro's. So, sorry Charlie.

If he's going soley on physical attraction and basing a loving relationship on that alone, whether it's lifestyle or vanilla, he's going to be looking forever. Your last statement is simply a generalization that is not necessarily true, in my opinion.

Be well,
Julie

As a non-pro femdom who is not overweight and happens to be feminine and attractive, I take exception to this. The myth that women like I don't exist is just that -- a myth. When I was in my mid20s and single and went to a few BDSM events, I was equally as dissatisfied with the group of male submissives available -- they were not physically, socially or emotionally right for me. I wanted an otherwise successful, aggressive, self confident, physically fit, articulate, romantic man that could also submit to my sadistic desires -- not all the time and every single day, but when the mood hit me.

The original poster needs to consider dating and courting women who are also not "in the lifestyle" but are sexually adventurous, self confident and open minded. He may find they get a taste of dominance and enjoy it, but do not want it to become the entire relationship. A 24/7 femdom relationship sounds good on paper, but I wonder what it looks like on a day to day basis. People have lives to run. I can't micromanage my partner on top of running my business.

What my relationship looks like is this. I'm self employed and run a successful company, and we have a large group of friends (some kinky, most not) and are both very close to our families. We travel a lot, we do all the things normal couples do, including having frequent vanilla sex. At the same time, I have an extremely strong sadistic/femdom streak that I have had since I was 16, and I need to express it *lightly* at least a few times a day (flirty domination) and completely engage in it usually once a week or several times a month -- for a few hours, for an entire night or for a weekend, depending on my mood. I have enough bondage gear and toys to rival a pro domme, and I have the skills to match. But I don't live 24/7 ordering my partner around; we live as equals for the most part, except that when I need that itch scratched, he has to give it all up to me -- completely.

Yes, it does exist.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to SecretDomme)

Post #: 12

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/10/2005 10:29:10 AM

Alexander

Posts: 159
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline

people have the same worries in the vanilla world. You won't escape the wonder that way.

Everythings fine. Yet you are doomed to look forever no matter what side you want to live in. Accept your doom and relish it.

Alex.

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 13

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/10/2005 10:54:47 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

NO

stormi does not believe that it does from the Dom/Master/Mistress end of things.

Do sub/slaves feel that way for their Dom/Master/Mistress..... oh yes.. very much so...

But seldom does it find the path both ways.

stormi,
That is the saddest post of an opinion I've seen here in a long time. I am sure you have very good reason and experience for coming to that conclusion and thinking that way but I wish you didn't sound to absolute and resolved.

Reciprocal love is possible, even probable if it was the relationship goal for both people. Sometimes you can miss the opportunity by taking the first experience opportunity that arises, and sometimes people mistake sensation for the sensational.

Patience and focus are not as often mentioned as trust and honesty when it comes to personal traits necessary for a good long term and loving relationship; but if your goal is to be in a "true, loving relationship" they are just as important. In fact they are MORE important.

(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)

Post #: 14

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/10/2005 2:01:52 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: womansboy
I sometimes wonder if the kind of true loving and intense Mistress and slave relationship I dream about really exists.

Yes I believe it exists wholehartedly...
The complication comes in when we have a laundrylist of what he/she must have and must do to win our hearts; I think simplifying the list as much as possibe by understanding your needs/wants/desires, and being open emotionally and available physically will help a great deal.

Good luck in your search, and be patient (easier said than done I realize, since patience is not My strong suit). M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 15

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/10/2005 2:14:37 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SecretDomme

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealTimePrincess
Well, there are a lot of overweight women in this lifestyle. If a slave is not attracted to that, he's going to be looking forever.

The young, thin Dominant Women tend to be pro's. So, sorry Charlie.

If he's going soley on physical attraction and basing a loving relationship on that alone, whether it's lifestyle or vanilla, he's going to be looking forever.
Julie[/color]

This is a reply to RealTimePrincess more than SecretDomme:
I don't like the unfair generalization that he's going to be looking forever because there are a lot of overweight women in this lifestyle...
There are a lot of overweight people everywhere, and so what? I also don't agree with the suggestion that being of a bigger size=Not attractive. Though I am not of the size 0-12 ilk, I consider no other Goddesses before me.

Indeed as SecretDomme says, if he's looking for a perfect (according to current Vogue) showpiece who also happens to be smart, well to do, and a Domina, he's going to be looking a long time (makes me wonder if the OP is a Libra, gemini, or Taurus as I write this, lol).
I would suggest he needs to be patient though, since a good relationship of any type is difficult to attain, and more so with more desired traits added. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to SecretDomme)

Post #: 16

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/10/2005 2:17:51 PM

mantis65

Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Consider, instead, that what you should really be looking for is a person- ideally, a women who is comfortable in her power, and looking for a man not unlike yourself (she is out there, I promise). Having found her- working out the realtionship will likely be a matter of time and effort on both your parts.

I agree
A relationship of any sort vanilla or Kinky is going take work.
It sounds like this guy is hoping for a princess charming in this case a wicked Queen that will magically transform his life.

If he meets a real Mistress she’s going to be human not a fantasy. He has to meet real Women and be realistic.
mantis

< Message edited by mantis65 -- 3/10/2005 2:18:27 PM >

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 17

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/11/2005 5:01:50 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

Yes, I believe that a true loving relationship between a submissive and Dominant is possible. There are many examples to prove that it exists.

I agree with mantis and Topcat on their additional comments regarding how to approach such a desire. We need to get back to the basics of getting to know people. I'm not condemning a fling, a tryst or even an alleyway fuck for that matter. I'm simply saying that trusting, loving relationships are built over time and it takes time to figure out whether or not we are compatible with someone. Jumping to the conclusion that someone is the one within the first few months of knowing them or even before spending real time with them will most likely (though there are exceptions) lead to dissapointment.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to mantis65)

Post #: 18

RE: Finding a true, loving slave/Mistress relationship - 3/15/2005 10:48:44 PM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

I read your post a few times, and what I get from it is the fact that you have a lot of demands about what YOU think is a loving relationship and the behaviors that YOU think make a woman qualify as "true" and "intense".

There are loving dominant women out there. There are intense, loving and attractive women out there. If you are getting frustrated not finding what you consider to be perfect, then maybe the fault is not in the women. This is not an accusation, just a thought for you to ponder.

If I were out at dinner and was required by a so-called slave to leave a table full of people I enjoyed to let him kiss my butt to fulfill HIS fantasy, I'd be pissed. Meeting your demands would not solidify my own Dominance, or my own pleasure. Now, if instead, a man was willing to be attentive, obedient and involved in things that /I/ enjoyed without making the demands of me to meet his perception of "true", then I'd be happy. For me, being well taken care of by an attentive man according to my own will and desires, and have him participate in what I was interested in doing is much closer to a D/s relationship.

What I'm saying is to look at your fantasy picture. You may indeed be a valuable man and a good and devoted slave at some point, but if you required these types of things of me in order to "qualify" as a good relationship, then it simply wouldn't happen. I'd pass you by, and you would lose out on the potential for an extremely loving relationship.

Sometimes on the path of life, we need to learn which direction to look in order to find our goals. One cannot always face Eastward and get frustrated about not seeing the sunset.

Good luck in your journey inside.

Purr

(in reply to womansboy)

Post #: 19

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