thetammyjo
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Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: porthuronsub
quote:
ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
Divorced is a relationship in the past -- it's the past, not really my concern.
Relationships though that continue to demand time from someone are a primary concern of mine. Almost divorced or separated isn't enough; having children is a big deal killer for me too.
If someone is going to be my slave he/she has to be able to make me first in his/her life. Can't do that if you have spouses, kids, or parents even that require your time.
I agree that to be a total, devoted slave you have to be 100% uncommitted to anyone or thing in life. However, most of the Dominant Women that are looking for a slave want them to be gainfully employed. Does that not hinder your power over your slave. I would think there would be responsibilities that come along with work that would interfere as well. Am I wrong? To find a slave without kids is one thing, to find one without siblings, aunts uncles and parents is another. My Mistress has an eight year old son. Not exactly a perfect setup to have a d/s relationship. But we work around it. I know my place with her and when her son is with her our positions do not change, we just don't have the whips and chains out. I am still submissive to her and she is still dominant over me. Someone in the lifestyle would probably pick it up, but others would just think i am whipped.
A submissive may well have a job.
By my definition though a slave would have a job only if that is what he owner wants. The slave may not even want a job (Fox would be much happier without one but I see the financial situation and I determined he needs a job for himself and for the family).
Jobs come and go, people change jobs often. I don't think most people cast off human relationships, especially those related by blood, as easily as jobs. Consider how poorly many of us think of someone who places work committments over family -- family is expected to come first. If I own someone, he/she joins my family and that means my family comes first.
Am I selfish to want to be first and foremost? Damn right! In my opinion that is part of what being a slave owner is about -- putting yourself first, the owner coming first. That does not mean the slave or others aren't important but that one person is more "important".
Being a good and wise owner means realizing that while you may have authority and the first position in any decision, you have the responsibility to think of everyone and do what is best for everyone.
I guess this might seem complicated to some one reading this. It doesn't feel complicated to me because this is how my family and my household has worked for over a decade.
It doesn't have to be your way, but the OP didn't ask for a universal way, it asked for individual feedback about being approached by divorced or soon to be divorced subs wanting to be slaves. That was my feedback on this question. It was never intended to be yours or anyone else's.
Likewise the question was about being approached by this particular category of people. Once one has an established relationship things can happen and things can change and you must be flexible. You can be far less flexible when things are starting out because you have no committment and no promises to continue beyond the initial stages. At least I don't, I personally would consider it foolish to jump into owning someone.
< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 2/6/2007 5:56:10 AM >
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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,
TammyJo
Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com
And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/
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