RE: problems reaching orgasm (Full Version)

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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: problems reaching orgasm (2/13/2007 9:12:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: areyouworthy4
I agree with the others - great advice. However, if you just physically want an orgasm - get a plug in back massager - this is the best one... 30 seconds later you'll be addicted. I actually don't even prefer it since it's so quick and I enjoy the process but trust me, it's fail safe.

Hitachi Magic Wand

I have a hitachi and while it can occasionally provide good orgasms, generally I much prefer a dildo and my hands and can orgasm much faster and simpler with them. 

In fact I've only been able to orgasm once on a sybian and that's when I could use it on my own with no one else around.

Not everyone goes ga-ga over the showerhead/vibes.




NightWindWhisper -> RE: problems reaching orgasm (2/13/2007 9:27:43 PM)

I agree with Totalmaster4you.  Further I believe that it is likely that you are sound/word oriented.  The words, the commands, the orders calm your mind such that you achieve the orgasmic release that you desire.  A carte blanch "you are free to..." sounds good, but I think it likely that you need to be talked/whispered into an orgasm....does this sound right?  If so, then the comment about the cattle prod might in fact actually work--I am not saying that one should use the prod, but you were "trained to orgasm on command," see the voice connection.  I have found that with some the threat that "you have four minutes to orgasm," after which you would be spanked, and then allowed the chance to orgasm again (with cunning stimulation while being spanked) and at each sequence the spanking gets a bit worse/better.  The mind can become quite confused as to what is pain and what is pleasure and often orgasm is the release.... Suggest that your dom give up on the "you are free to..." and replace it with: "be a good girl....that's right...who owns your pussy? .....who!  Well....if I own it that give it to me....do what I order...."   Sound right, or sound wrong?

Since you were trained to orgasm on command--focus there.  It is quite possible, and quite delicious to train a submissive to cum on command--with no coital movement, where you are allowed only to move internally.  It is even possible to train a submissive to orgasm by words alone with no touch at all.  Seriously.




ladychatterley -> RE: problems reaching orgasm (2/13/2007 9:36:04 PM)

Just a thought that you'e probably considered, but have you tried erotica?  Give me a Beauty novel and 10 minutes and I can get there every time. If I focus on me, and what I'm feeling, it can be much more difficult to get there, but if I distract my mind, my body usually has fun.




Lordandmaster -> RE: problems reaching orgasm (2/13/2007 11:40:45 PM)

Peach can't come unless I order her to.  It's not that uncommon among women trained to come on command.

quote:

ORIGINAL: purpleraven

ok, so there's the situation. when i met my Sir, he was able to benefit from the former training, and retrained me to accept *his* words and other cues. which i think is great, again, it's my kink. the problem is: i have open permission to orgasm on my own, yet no matter what i try, i just can't orgasm at all. i honestly don't know if it's because of the former M/s training, or that in this current relationship my Sir used cue phrases such as "who's pussy is this?" to which i replied "yours, Sir" (again, that's my kink! i love that sort of thing.) we stopped doing that.

my Sir giving me carte blanche to orgasm by myself hasn't worked. baths, relaxation, guided imagery, and all that good stuff hasn't worked. i feel pleasure, so it's not a "disconnect" per se. i just don't reach orgasm. i figure there's something we can do together to help me get over this, perhaps something obvious we're missing.  anyone else ever have this problem? if so, how did you get past it? i look forward to a good discussion. :)




purpleraven -> RE: problems reaching orgasm (2/15/2007 9:21:15 PM)

i came, i came, i came! my Sir came up with an affirmation for me, to write daily in my journal, and to keep in mind while i masturbate. he asked me to try daily. and it worked! and it was FUN *laughing* the affirmation is: "my orgasm belongs to me; i give it to my Master." which really helps me, it's how i'm wired, even when i'm by myself i need to be surrendering to someone Dominant. especially my Sir, he pulls my surrender from me so sweetly, as he says i bring out his Dominance. i feel SO much better! i had thought i was broken. not getting my hopes up that i'll come every time i try, but i feel much more relaxed and not uptight about it now that i've crossed that first hurdle.

thanks for all the great advice and feedback! it really helped to know i wasn't alone. {{{hugs to all}}}




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