RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (Full Version)

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SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 10:25:46 AM)

Yes communication is always best.

Some like to have back burner subs while not making commitments to full time subs.

Sometimes direct questions are the best means.

Ross
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Bon_D_Age/members?o=6



RavenMuse -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 10:38:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
Nothing if you are into micromangement and desire a girl who can't live her life without guidance and rules every minute.  Sounds like a lot of unncessary work to me.


You would be unnecessary work dear, not micromanagement IF and when I deam it neccessary! Luckaly I have got a girl who is strong, capable and actualy submissive!

Amount of rules in a relationship is not an issue so long as it works for that relationship....... Dishonest  or incompleat comunication DOES, IMO pose at least a red flag indication that what is going on here isn't something that the OP would be that well advised to step into. If it smacks of dishonesty and/or game playing then how can you trust anything you have been told?



Wildfleurs -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 11:08:52 AM)

Using fast reply...

I don't actually think its necessarily lying by omission for the dominant to not tell the submissive when or if he's talking to the other submissive.  I know for us, even though it was definitely a bitter pill to swallow I'm just not entitled to that kind of information.  I think the trick is whether the dominant is honest about it not being information that the submissive is entitled to, although if the submissive identifies as being entirely monogamous with no room to grow or change then they may not even be a good fit.

C~



BitaTruble -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 11:15:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: amlonging


 
I do NOT find this Dom appealing to me and would never beg his ownership.   
Any advice, thoughts.... suggestions ??
Thank you in advance 


If you don't find him appealing, I guess I'm not seeing what the problem is here. Their relationship is their business, you don't want to be involved with him, so why are you allowing things to continue? My advice would be to find someone who does appeal to you and let these two work things out as best as they can.

Celeste



Raphael -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 11:18:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: amlonging
I do NOT find this Dom appealing to me and would never beg his ownership. He desires a painslut of which I am not and his over all personality is one that I would obey him in topping her in his presence, but I am sure I would not submit to him knowing her thoughts and feelings.


So why are you getting involved with him in the first place?



Celeste43 -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 11:22:35 AM)

He's a horndog and he doesn't care about her feelings. Get her to talk to another submissive, then swipe the phone number without telling her he's trolling you. Doesn't ask what her feelings are, doesn't care that she's monogamous and that doing this will hurt her.

This is totally incorrect. He should have had her ask you for permission for him to speak to you, because he didn't know if you were interested. He should first have his alpha be totally secure with the possibility of a third which she isn't.

He has behaved badly throughout. Me? I wouldn't get involved with him ever. And I would be expecting a train wreck in their relationship shortly. And anybody can hand out a bunch of rules without caring about how they work out, or how the person following them feels. He's an ass of the first order.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 11:31:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs
I don't actually think its necessarily lying by omission for the dominant to not tell the submissive when or if he's talking to the other submissive.  I know for us, even though it was definitely a bitter pill to swallow I'm just not entitled to that kind of information.  I think the trick is whether the dominant is honest about it not being information that the submissive is entitled to, although if the submissive identifies as being entirely monogamous with no room to grow or change then they may not even be a good fit.

C~

I completely agree that the slave isn't entitled to know who the master is talking to or what about.  But it just makes sense if you're going to give someone free reign to call your slave and be able to order the slave around that you might just maybe want to let the slave know what the deal is.



Wildfleurs -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 11:52:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I completely agree that the slave isn't entitled to know who the master is talking to or what about.  But it just makes sense if you're going to give someone free reign to call your slave and be able to order the slave around that you might just maybe want to let the slave know what the deal is.


I agree you should let the slave know the deal if someone else gets to make demands of the slave absolutely (but to me thats separate from letting the slave know who and what you are talking to other people/submissives about).

C~

Edited to add: I think we are pretty much saying the same thing :-)



MagiksSlave -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 12:55:06 PM)

erm was the fact that the sub had no idea he had been talking to you or even told her or asked her if it was ok to give another controll of her. The fact is you said they where not collard and there for she does not really belong to him and it isnt his place to give her controll over to someone els without at least telling her he was doing so... maybe he as the Dom some would say didnt have to ask but he should have had the curtasy to at least let her know!! was that not a big enough red flag that maybe something isnt right here and it may not be a situation you want to be involved with??? I would step away something smells here.

Magik's slave



ShogunSensei -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 1:25:46 PM)

It does indeed sound as if you're being trolled. Someone else mentioned their relationship possibly being a train wreck about to happen.  My idea is that there is more of a liklihood of a train wreck were you to step into their, what seems to be somewhat fragile relationship.

If you are really serious about being friends with her, then maybe that is where your loyalty should lie and not with becoming involved with the dominant?



RavenMuse -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 3:31:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
I completely agree that the slave isn't entitled to know who the master is talking to or what about.  But it just makes sense if you're going to give someone free reign to call your slave and be able to order the slave around that you might just maybe want to let the slave know what the deal is.


The slave obviously believes herself to be in a mono situation, which according to His actions isn't the case....... that is the bit that concerns Me. Not who had 'right' to talk to whom or be notified about what.... but that she maybe submitted under a false pretext, ergo there is a breach of trust in play.



Quivver -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 3:55:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69
Some like to have back burner subs while not making commitments to full time subs.


..... ~ back burner subs ~ ? 



RavenMuse -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 4:27:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69
Some like to have back burner subs while not making commitments to full time subs.


..... ~ back burner subs ~ ? 



If He means what I think He means then He is refering to the practice some dimdoms have of fishing for more girls than they can activly fuck-up right at that moment and keep a few "On the back burner" just dragging along with minimal contact/effort till such time as the dims are discovered for what they are by the current ones or simply bored with them... then those are taken from the back burner to become the next active victim.

If they can do it 'right' the one they just screwed up might even end up on the back burner ready to be reeled in again for another dose of being screwed around at a later date.



KatyLied -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 6:16:17 PM)

quote:

~ back burner subs ~


I think Quivver knows.
It's akin to the monkey vines or whatever Ron calls it.



MagiksSlave -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 6:33:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: amlonging

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

The mere fact that these two have such a disconnect is proof enough for me that both are at best inexperienced and at worst, fools.


I am sorry you think this and find yourself making this judgement when you know ONLY my view in this other relationship.
To clarify, because of your judgement, I am well aware that they communicate in an almost micromanagment sort of way all during the day, she has more than 20 rules she must follow daily, andjust from talking with them both (on phone) they are not fools altho she might be inexpereinced, I do not find him inexpereinced. 


WOW I cant beleave you equate number of rules with quality of Domanence or relationship.. I could have 1000000 rules with Master and still have the worst relationship and he could still be the worst Dom.. in fact I would lean twords haveing less rules would show a better structured relationship IMO

Magik's slave



MagiksSlave -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 6:41:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I completely agree that the slave isn't entitled to know who the master is talking to or what about.  But it just makes sense if you're going to give someone free reign to call your slave and be able to order the slave around that you might just maybe want to let the slave know what the deal is.


I agree you should let the slave know the deal if someone else gets to make demands of the slave absolutely (but to me thats separate from letting the slave know who and what you are talking to other people/submissives about).

C~

Edited to add: I think we are pretty much saying the same thing :-)



OK not only that she should know that this other person has controll over her now.. but as a slave the only right you have is WHO you submit to.. she wasnt even told about it let alone given her one and only right of who she is to give her controll to... I submit to who my Master say always but he always makes sure Im ok with it and I KNOW that I am to submit to them and if I didnt want to he would never make me.

Magik's slave



FukinTroll -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 6:42:35 PM)

Did someone say Troll?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/6/2007 7:10:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
OK not only that she should know that this other person has controll over her now.. but as a slave the only right you have is WHO you submit to.. she wasnt even told about it let alone given her one and only right of who she is to give her controll to... I submit to who my Master say always but he always makes sure Im ok with it and I KNOW that I am to submit to them and if I didnt want to he would never make me.

Magik's slave


That might be what works in your relationship, but in mine, my master could and often did give control and authority over me to someone else for periods of time, certainly without asking first.

That's what we mean by "non consensual consent" or "overall consent."  The master doesn't need our consent for anything once he has consent for everything.

To me I don't think he needed to let her know another was controlling her to hold to some principle of consensuality (unless he'd previously agreed otherwise), he needed to let her know simply for practical and clear obedience sake.



amlonging -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/7/2007 5:53:11 AM)

If you insist on continuing to talk with them, then insist it always be with both at once for at least the first few months and on the first conversation, ask both of them directly what they are looking for and where do they think this might end up.

Adding:  It's likely that they are just running headlong into oblivion and haven't the slightest sense of long term security between them yet which makes it very stupid to try and get others involved.  But they are listening to their gonads and will do what they can.


 very seriously noted LA...thanks



amlonging -> RE: Is this Dom "trolling" me? (2/7/2007 5:58:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

In all honesty, it sounds like there is a lack of real *cringe* communication all around. Why keep from her the fact you spoke with her Dom? Why is he keeping from her the "real" motivation behind his actions? No wonder she's insecure; both of you are lying by omission. I feel sorry for the girl and would recommend that she seriously look at the relationship with both of you.

What needs to happen in order to make this work:
Her relationship with the Dominant must be strong and in place FIRST. If she's mono at heart, I'd say that the relationship isn't destined to work. There are plenty of mono Dominants out there, even if you haven't met them.
You both need to be honest with her and each other.
The three of you together need to clearly define your role...it's unclear if you're going to be a sister slave, a fuck buddy or a Top for her.


Master Fire



 Master Fire...thanks for the reply, you know I value your opinions..  I DID IM her and then we spoke for 2 hours on the phone immediately after I spoke with him and told her ... if he chose not to tell her, that is not my problem, but it is hers...which I told her.
 
My role, as she asked, was to top her and as he orignally said...but i am not so sure anymore.  and no there is NO relationship...  early talking to me is not a relationship.
Thanks Ma'am



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