Who should speak to... (Full Version)

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akame -> Who should speak to... (2/6/2007 11:06:56 AM)

A Dom that came over to the bottom, right when the play session was being started and kissed her on the head without permission from her or her Top.
It's a top the bottom doesn't like and feels creeped out when he's around.
He was in the next room watching someone he had suspended being played when we decided it was time for us to play.
While Daddy was getting stuff out to play with he had me sit on an exam table he planned to play her on.
Well, this Dom hurridly shot into the room, while Daddy's back was turned and planted a kiss on her forehead and shot out before either one of us had a chance to say anything.
Now, I don't like this guy as it is,  he's creepy in some sort of way I can't explain.
It shouldn't matter anyway. I have a hard time with people touching me and shouldn't have to explain to EVERYONE in the world my problem with it!
Anyway's,
It really messed with her head the whole scene, I got off but was really pissed the whole time, pissed at the guy, pissed at Daddy for not keeping the guy out of my space and head while we ware trying to play.
So, now I'm pissed big time and have been since it happened sunday night!  
It really screwed up the rest of the play for the rest of the night! I was supposed to play someone and found I just couldn't because all I could think of is how pissed I is at that guy!!!
We talked about it, he says it should be me, and I say it is better for him to talk with this guy about this touching problem he has with me.
So, who should talk to him, Daddy or me?
hugzzz,
me




Wulfchyld -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/6/2007 11:10:30 AM)

Daddy should kick the shit out of him.




Mercnbeth -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/6/2007 11:20:50 AM)

me,
Ask your 'Daddy' what he would do if he came home one day and someone was sitting in his chair? Better yet, if he walked into the house to get something, what would he do if he found someone sitting in his car, that he left parked outside, fiddling with the controls? If the answer is different than what he would do in this situation with you, your ranking in the hierarchy of his life is clear.

If the answer is consistent with your understanding of what your position was when you entered into your relationship you have absolutely nothing to be "pissed". Assigning yourself to rules and parameters to another comes with consequences. The consequence, based on this story, is either your definition of "protection" is different than your Daddy's; or your Daddy isn't concerned with anyone else touching or using you. It also appears you are to fight your own battles.

If these things weren't clear before it should be obvious after this experience. If this isn't what you expected or agreed going into the relationship - you need to have a chat with him out of context with the relationship dynamic.  




Wildfleurs -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/6/2007 12:00:32 PM)

Using fast reply....

I'd have told my owner about it the minute he came back into the room and had him handle it right then and there.  There's really no reason to hold in shit like that.

C~




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/6/2007 12:07:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs
Using fast reply....

I'd have told my owner about it the minute he came back into the room and had him handle it right then and there.  There's really no reason to hold in shit like that.

C~

Ditto.




sexyone4you -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/6/2007 12:30:48 PM)

I think this is one for Daddy




BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/6/2007 12:38:31 PM)

Daddy should have taken him out side and whipped him like an ugly step child,No one should invade anothers space without permission ,it doesn't matter if  you are sub or slave or otherwise...BH




Raphael -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/6/2007 2:14:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: akame

A Dom that came over to the bottom, right when the play session was being started and kissed her on the head without permission from her or her Top.
It's a top the bottom doesn't like and feels creeped out when he's around.
He was in the next room watching someone he had suspended being played when we decided it was time for us to play.
While Daddy was getting stuff out to play with he had me sit on an exam table he planned to play her on.
Well, this Dom hurridly shot into the room, while Daddy's back was turned and planted a kiss on her forehead and shot out before either one of us had a chance to say anything.
Now, I don't like this guy as it is, he's creepy in some sort of way I can't explain.
It shouldn't matter anyway. I have a hard time with people touching me and shouldn't have to explain to EVERYONE in the world my problem with it!
Anyway's,
It really messed with her head the whole scene, I got off but was really pissed the whole time, pissed at the guy, pissed at Daddy for not keeping the guy out of my space and head while we ware trying to play.
So, now I'm pissed big time and have been since it happened sunday night!
It really screwed up the rest of the play for the rest of the night! I was supposed to play someone and found I just couldn't because all I could think of is how pissed I is at that guy!!!


Perhaps you should ask your 'Daddy' to help you work on emotional control.

I'm NOT saying it was ok for this guy to touch you like that, but your inability to control your emotions may be an even bigger problem here.

quote:

We talked about it, he says it should be me, and I say it is better for him to talk with this guy about this touching problem he has with me.
So, who should talk to him, Daddy or me?


Are you looking for someone outside to overrule him eh? If he were I, you'd be in big trouble for this.

That said, it sounds to me like you're both wrong. I'm gathering this was in a public dungeon. The proper person to speak to the guy would be the proprietor of the dungeon, or his appointed representative - most often known as a dungeon monitor. This sort of thing is precisely what they're there to deal with.






Rafters -> Zen (2/6/2007 10:23:42 PM)

"Some people would live a better life at the other end of the leash."




MagiksSlave -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/7/2007 11:07:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

Daddy should kick the shit out of him.


LOL yup I totaly agree though I dont think I would have been so lady like if I was kissed by this jerk without consent i woulda kicked in the general direction of his balls. Then gone to the DM.

Magik's slave




TABMaster -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/9/2007 2:53:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

We talked about it, he says it should be me, and I say it is better for him to talk with this guy about this touching problem he has with me.
So, who should talk to him, Daddy or me?


It seems to me that you and your Daddy have a real disconnect on what you can expect from him concerning his protection.  That might even go to what both of your roles and responsibilities are to each other.  I think you should sit down and discuss what the expectations are about roles and responsibilities.  Once that is worked out, then who ever is the one to deal with it needs to talk to the person hosting the play party or their official representative (dungeon monitor). 

My personal opinion is that any touching, talking, or other kind of interference is totally uncalled for and should be dealt with.  If the people who put on the party don't agree, I would never go to one there again.  I just have this thing.........she is mine and mine alone.  I and only I decide if anyone is to touch, talk, or otherwise be involved.  If I play in public, then watching respectfully is fine, if it is in private, it is private.  I really have no tolerance for people who don't have manors. 




wyldsubmissive -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/12/2007 11:07:54 AM)

Daddy dearest should handle this one. With reverse vampire gloves.




valeca -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/12/2007 12:39:29 PM)

I agree checking in with the DM is a good idea.  One of the most common rules I've seen talked about is the 'no touching!' rule.  If dude is breaking that rule, then they have the option of barring him from other events. 

Although, I guess that doesn't really answer your OP.  Honestly, I don't think any of us can give you the correct answer to your specific question.  It's your dynamic, and none of us are a part of it; how you handle it is between the two of you.  At best, we can tell you how we'd want it handled in our own dynamics.  And for me, that'd be Master having a little tete-a-tete with the kissing bandit.




porthuronsub -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/12/2007 3:02:17 PM)

I don't think the guy has any right to invade your personal space in any situation without expressed permission, either from you or your Daddy, depending on your relationship.  If you just have an occasional play relationship and are not "owned" then it is your problem.  If you are daddy's property then he should care enough to take care of it.  If he doesn't care enough about his property to protect it from unwanted attacks, then you should find a new master.  In the vanilla world that can be seen as assault.




JasonF -> RE: Who should speak to... (2/12/2007 7:45:21 PM)

Echoing what else has been said here...

Let a leader of the venue/group or a DM know. This guy is a cancer and needs to be removed.




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