Getting centered when uncentered

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viperess -> Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 11:30:50 AM)
Greetings, Have you ever had things from the "outside world" effect you to the point where you become uncentered. Where you seem to be like one of the crazy balls kids play with, bouncing around uncontrollably in your mind? To the point of where you question yourself as to if you are a failure or not worthy? How were you able to get back centered? Respectfully viperess slave of CTDOM4sub

Wildfleurs -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 11:35:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: viperess Greetings, Have you ever had things from the "outside world" effect you to the point where you become uncentered. Where you seem to be like one of the crazy balls kids play with, bouncing around uncontrollably in your mind? To the point of where you question yourself as to if you are a failure or not worthy? How were you able to get back centered? Respectfully viperess slave of CTDOM4sub I find that the rituals that my owner has for me has helped a lot in that area, which I didn't expect to be the case. Also re-focusing on whats important can be very valuable, and that entails letting go of some of those balls. In terms of questioning whether you are a failure, I find going to my owner when I have doubts about things like that really helpful... he's usually able to help me remember my place and that I am worthy of being there. C~ Edited to add: I also forgot to add that also just running my hands or fingers over the signs of ownership that I have (the brand and the labia piercing) are also really helpful in me getting an immediate kind of jolt of focus.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 11:38:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: viperess Have you ever had things from the "outside world" effect you to the point where you become uncentered. Where you seem to be like one of the crazy balls kids play with, bouncing around uncontrollably in your mind? To the point of where you question yourself as to if you are a failure or not worthy? How were you able to get back centered? Respectfully viperess slave of CTDOM4sub It depends on the situation. If I've got 10 balls in the air and I can't let any of them drop at that moment, take a bathroom break, do some deep breathing and do a good mantra for yourself to get you through the moment. If I've got time for other stuff, it could be anything from have an orgasm, go to the gym, take a hot shower, meditate- whatever activity I feel is useful to get my headspace in 'open ready and relaxed' position. Then, I seriously lay it all on the table on my mind. I pick it up piece by piece, roll it over in my mind, feel where it takes me, sift through the insecurities and remove the glare from them as much as possible. I'll definitely also talk to my partner about it to get their own perspective. Most times we are our own harshest critics and our sense of selves won't allow for mistakes and selfishly thinks that we have a lot more burdens than we actually have. Once we remove that and get some clarity, we can see ourselves in the bigger, more relevant picture.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 11:39:20 AM)
This will sound a bit flippant but...really good sex...and lots of it...really help me with this. I was pretty unstable this weekend, but 2 days and 2 nights with a really good lover helped with the chemical imbalance. But, this is a way that I help ME. You need to focus on things that you enjoy...pamper yourelf a bit...go connect with nature...spend some quiet time alone and concentrate on a thread of energy flowing up from the earth to your spine and vice versa (doing this while soaking in the tub is delightful). Master Fire

agirl -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 1:37:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: viperess Have you ever had things from the "outside world" effect you to the point where you become uncentered. Where you seem to be like one of the crazy balls kids play with, bouncing around uncontrollably in your mind? To the point of where you question yourself as to if you are a failure or not worthy? How were you able to get back centered? Respectfully viperess slave of CTDOM4sub Most times we are our own harshest critics and our sense of selves won't allow for mistakes and selfishly thinks that we have a lot more burdens than we actually have. Once we remove that and get some clarity, we can see ourselves in the bigger, more relevant picture. One of the things that I appreciate immensely about M is his ability to blow away the smoke when I feel overwhelmed. I can't always do that with my own stuff, especially if I feel pulled in many directions. Also, being alone for a decent amount of time, helps the chips fall back into place.........a bit like a de-frag. agirl

juliaoceania -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 2:00:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: viperess Greetings, Have you ever had things from the "outside world" effect you to the point where you become uncentered. Where you seem to be like one of the crazy balls kids play with, bouncing around uncontrollably in your mind? To the point of where you question yourself as to if you are a failure or not worthy? How were you able to get back centered? Respectfully viperess slave of CTDOM4sub I used to experience this all the time. Nowadays I repeat everything I am grateful for in this life. Meditation can help sort things out too. If I lived with my Daddy, I would ask him for help prioritizing if I felt completely overwhelmed. He has helped me with this before...

charismagirrl -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 2:39:14 PM)
i've had this type of feeling and usually it is when i am having a super bad PMS time or when my Daddy is out of town, the absolute worst has been when those two things collided. i asked my Daddy for some type of "slavey" thing to do (knowing that most of what i do is naturally slavey, i was meaning something extra) The first time i asked i almost regreted it when my Daddy told me to put an ice cube on my clit and let it melt all the way. (JUST OUCH!) A day or so later he had me spank my ass with a hairbrush, HARD 200 times. (again OUCH) These actions alone weren't the whole thing but what they did was help quiet all of the craziness in my head down and i was then able to actually get alot more centered. Just as an aside, i tried both of those activities without my Daddy's instruction and not only didn't they have the same effect but i couldn't even come close to completeing either of them.

topcat -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 2:46:24 PM)
Dear Viperess- the first thing is to realise that not taking a break is going to blow any timetable worse than taking some time will, if you are going to be in a tither. Then, personal grooming. twenty minutes in a hot tub, rinse witha cool shower deal with body hair, nails, head hair clean clothes, head to toe, and a cup of coffee while sitting. Shouldn't take more than an hour and a half, and it's amazing how the day falls into place after that. Stay warm, Lawrence

Quivver -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 4:25:39 PM)
more then once i've felt the pull from all directions, have found myself scattered and unable to pull myself together in times past. finding something that let's you focus is the key. exercise, music, flogging... what ever. when you get your focus back you can tackle anything. [;)]

ownedgirlie -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 5:35:21 PM)
Last year I told certain friends about the many "buckets" I was dragging around, each one filled with a particular (and extremely stressful) situation, each one having nothing to do with the other buckets, but weighing on me just the same. At times they seemed to all merge together and try to drown me. When life gets too crazy, I focus on my Master. I come to him for help in prioritizing, or I meditate on him and feel his energy in me, which calms me. And when I have to deal with the contents of the buckets, I pick up one bucket at a time whenever possible, leaving all other issues in their own buckets, to be dealt with in their own time. It helps to compartmentalize. With some of the things that went on last year, all at the same time, I had a lot of friends very concerned about me and checking on me a lot. It was a lesson for me in receiving help, and in letting others "do" for me...something I never allowed before. My relationships are so much richer for it now. Learning to realize I can not handle it all myself was a big step. Asking for and receiving help was another one. We are not in this world alone; we should not try to live as though we are.

hot1 -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 5:43:23 PM)
Talking with a friend does it for me. I do know what you are going through.....lol....the friend that tends to help ends with the comment...so we can forget about putting you down today eh? But some days....it is just the hardest thing to even get up in the morning to deal with everything

ownedgirlie -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 5:50:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hot1 the friend that tends to help ends with the comment...so we can forget about putting you down today eh? Oh I like that! And yes, that was pretty much the deal with my friends, even when I was worried they'd get sick of me. quote: But some days....it is just the hardest thing to even get up in the morning to deal with everything It is indeed...but we do. I am very fortunate to have a boss who accomodated me on those days. But on those days, you just do what you can. Even if it's only a fraction of what you have been capable of before...so long as you get up and do. Even a little. :)

bandit25 -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 6:48:37 PM)
Topcat, What good advice. I find that often works for me. Doing things for me...rituals...sex...they all work.

slavejali -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 7:02:04 PM)
I agree with the 'do something' advice and the meditation advice. Sometimes though when your really off-balance its really hard to meditate, its the last thing you want to do, so start with the 'doing something'...'do anything' that makes you exert energy..then sit down and just be really conscious of your breath "be with your breath"..pretty soon you'll feel centered again. When your feeling better again, take a look at why you fall into the pit of 'worthlessness' and do some healing. No one is worthless...

velvetvixen68 -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 7:39:53 PM)
Greetings to my sister viperess...i have read all these replies so far and started thinking hmmmm seems someone has told you some of this before..thank you everyone for pretty much telling my lovely sister what i have been trying to beat into her head..just kidding about the beating..i find that when i am spinning out of control i go to Master and kneel at His feet for awhile and tell Him i am needing Him to center me, but there are times that is not possible so i will take private time for myself..sometimes i cry..alot..and sometimes i will just take a long hot shower..you know the kind that gets everything all steamy and makes you sleepy..but on really bad days i vent to me sister and she holds me and hugs me and listens..then afterwards i say this little rhyme: pins and needles..needles and pins..a happy woman is one who grins.. velvetvixen68 slave to CTDOM4sub sister to the lovely viperess

princess4Sir -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 8:08:32 PM)
when in my Master's presence, the rest of the world, along with its trials and tribulations, disappears - to me, that is a wondrous part of the beauty of submission - being able to transition from "reality" to "heaven" by merely being in his embrace - being with my Master automatically causes me to center - his touch assures me that i am worthy

viperess -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/6/2007 9:39:41 PM)
Greetings, Thank you to everyone who has given their time to answer. There are many good ideas here, some i have done and others i shall try. For now i do believe i must go in search of the hot tub topcat spoke of. Again thank you one and all. viperess slave of CTDOM4sub

viperess -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/7/2007 4:27:20 AM)
Greetings little sister velvetvixen68, Yes okay your right some of it i have heard from somewhere or another. Maybe little sisters do know some stuff after all...just kidding as i am truely lucky to have such a wonderful, loving sister such as yourself. viperess slave of CTDOM4sub heart sister to velvetvixen 68

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/7/2007 6:03:57 AM)
As some have said daily rituals help me to become refocused. When daily life clouds my mind and I am consumed with those things I tell Master. He then helps me become refocused in a good way and reminds me of what I should focus on. Communication with your partner helps me the most.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Getting centered when uncentered (2/7/2007 6:39:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: viperess To the point of where you question yourself as to if you are a failure or not worthy? How were you able to get back centered? there are some days when i don't feel "perfect" or worthy of Daddy for whatever it might be. it helps that i can go to Daddy when i feel this way and hear His assurances that i am worthy or i touch the symbols (my collar and bracelet) of His ownership of me - then i suddenly feel better. sometimes hearing His voice also helps.

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