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Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 4:08:36 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		LadyEllen this one is for you: Chemistry
 
INVISIBLE REALITY
Think about it. The normal, straight, vanilla couple goes about their day-to-day, routinely sticking to their...routine, and most often without an extraordinary word or thought. In a M/s relationship, isn't there always a feeling of more. Don't we have almost what one might call a lascivious and viscereal feeling between us and isn't that created by what we could call...our invisible reality ? Our invisible reality is that constant chemistry between us, just in being together, something that we have created and what forms the very basis for our command, control and obediance in addition to our ongoing sex and kink pleasures. We are both traveling on that never ending safari of the subconcious, both living in anticipation and surprise. Our invisible reality...now that's chemistry, right ?
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 4:15:11 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		No.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to MrRodgers)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 4:17:37 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		i don't think the chemistry between kinky people is any more or less special or real than the chemistry between non-kinky people. :)

that said, there are certain aspects of kink relationships that lend themselves to more involved trust and communication, but even so, that doesn't guarantee that kink relationships have better trust and communication than vanilla relationships.

(in reply to domiguy)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 4:33:26 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

LadyEllen this one is for you: Chemistry
 
INVISIBLE REALITY
Think about it. The normal, straight, vanilla couple goes about their day-to-day, routinely sticking to their...routine, and most often without an extraordinary word or thought. In a M/s relationship, isn't there always a feeling of more. Don't we have almost what one might call a lascivious and viscereal feeling between us and isn't that created by what we could call...our invisible reality ? Our invisible reality is that constant chemistry between us, just in being together, something that we have created and what forms the very basis for our command, control and obediance in addition to our ongoing sex and kink pleasures. We are both traveling on that never ending safari of the subconcious, both living in anticipation and surprise. Our invisible reality...now that's chemistry, right ?


Just because we're different doesn't mean we're better. It means we're different.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to MrRodgers)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 4:38:53 PM   
SmokingGun82


Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline 		I second Master Fire on this one.

_____________________________

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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 5:12:28 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SmokingGun82

I second Master Fire on this one.


And I third Master Fire...there is a guy I went to doctoral college with.   His wife and he have been married for 24 years now.  They display a relationship that is a joy to behold and an inspiration to those of us who, even while sometimes a bit cynical in outlook, still believe in love and a full relationship.  In speaking to my friend when we teach seminars on weekends, we talk...very openly and very honestly...about both our lives.  We've been that way with each other since we were in school.  Unless he can lie to me very well, then what he describes of their physical and emotional life that others don't see only adds to my previously stated impression of him.

They are about as vanilla as they come except for a certain open-mindedness in regards to me...their weird, kinky friend.

WIITWD is not necessarily better...it is just different.

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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 5:27:43 PM   
pissdoll


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Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

 Our invisible reality...now that's chemistry, right ?



i am friends with a couple who are now married.  i was there the night they met.  there was instant chemistry in the room.  it was amazing to be around.  i was humbled at the time, and am still humbled to this day when i think about it.  that was 5 years ago and they are still as awesome together today as they were that night.
bdsm?  not for them.  does that make their reality any less amazing? who really cares?
sometimes i think we focus too much on the fact that we "ARE bdsm" and don't spend enough time just being us.

(in reply to MrRodgers)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 6:34:21 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Your examples are very probably a little closer to us then they or even we are willing to admit. Also, what has been spoken of here has been almost all 'visible.' the same visible that most vanilla couples display. Iam writing of the 'Invisible reality' in a M/s affair that others don't see and when both are alone...one is at the other's complete discretion for all manor of debauchery. Can we honestly say that about our neighborhors ? Many couples have great chemistry but still only as vanilla (in power) as we appear to them and I have to feel...is not 'our' chemistry ? Iam talking about that almost 24/7 simmering and bubbling brew of passion that inspires...our chemistry.

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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 7:02:41 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

Your examples are very probably a little closer to us then they or even we are willing to admit. Also, what has been spoken of here has been almost all 'visible.' the same visible that most vanilla couples display. Iam writing of the 'Invisible reality' in a M/s affair that others don't see and when both are alone...one is at the other's complete discretion for all manor of debauchery. Can we honestly say that about our neighborhors ? Many couples have great chemistry but still only as vanilla (in power) as we appear to them and I have to feel...is not 'our' chemistry ? Iam talking about that almost 24/7 simmering and bubbling brew of passion that inspires...our chemistry.


Sodium reacts with Chlorine to create sodium chloride (table salt). Hydrogen reacts with Chlorine to create hydrogen chloride (hydrochloric acid). These compounds have different properties, but they both are essential. It's ALL chemisty, even if it gives us different...even invisible...stuff. Sorry, I just don't buy your "our stuff is more special than their stuff" pitch.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 7:04:12 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

normal, straight, vanilla couple goes about their day-to-day, routinely sticking to their...routine, and most often without an extraordinary word or thought.

Boy talk about vanilla bashing!  Not only is Ms somehow more, but vanillas don't even have ANYTHING interesting.

You know considering how many slaves ADORE routine and ritual, I think this applies to them far more than vanillas.

quote:

In a M/s relationship, isn't there always a feeling of more. Don't we have almost what one might call a lascivious and viscereal feeling between us and isn't that created by what we could call...our invisible reality ?

No.

quote:

Our invisible reality is that constant chemistry between us, just in being together, something that we have created and what forms the very basis for our command, control and obediance in addition to our ongoing sex and kink pleasures. We are both traveling on that never ending safari of the subconcious, both living in anticipation and surprise. Our invisible reality...now that's chemistry


Please, that's life.  I know plenty of vanilla people who have far more exciting, healthier, wealthier and open lives than a lot of Ms people could ever dream of.

_____________________________

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MrRodgers)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/6/2007 7:24:14 PM   
Noah


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Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers
 We are both traveling on that never ending safari of the subconcious, both living in anticipation and surprise.


Yes. We are. All of us. Kinky and Non.

I suspect that the myth you inhabit doesn't resemble mine very much. Mine isn't all ordered in terms of Us vs. Them and hierarchical evaluations for each.


You go on about "our" invisible reality, Rodgers, then complain that you don't see anything similar among "vanillas."

I suggest you go back over that a few times. My hope is that you'll eventually notice how the math comes out.



(in reply to MrRodgers)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/7/2007 12:58:24 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Very interesting response indeed. In the few times I have written the same in email...it has received agreement and some 'very well said's' but here it is the opposite.

Also don't quite understand how this became vanilla 'bashing' or an 'Us vs them' kinda discussion. To merely mention what I have seen myself in far too many vanilla relationships over the years...it is ALL vanilla...and very routine but not here or why are we here ? This lifestyle isn't better or certainly much more extreme and far less routine than vanilla ?

Didn't want to use the word dynamic here ? Rather, I thought I'd try to illusttrate this as a feeling between two or more people in a 24/7 M/s relationship.

(in reply to Noah)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/7/2007 1:34:36 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Hi

Missed this - I keep getting locked out of CM grrrrr! Was never very good at chemistry though, or physics for that matter.

I think I know what youre talking about, but to be honest to keep that up 24/7 when work and the shopping/washing up/cooking/cleaning and UMs keep getting in the way is rarely possible; life is too real for fantasy to rule. There's also the honeymoon factor of course, whereby the first few years you could eat such a close relationship, but after that, you wished you had. I guess after the honeymoon period its still there in the background all that chemistry and so on, but only ever having been in a normal relationship until that point, it kind of becomes like the wallpaper you know? Its just part of how things are and loses its charm, being taken for granted; maybe its the same for long term ms relationships, I dont know.

E

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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/7/2007 2:22:07 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		When two people - vanilla or kinky - decide that what they have together is worth putting first in their lives, despite the laundry, the bosses, the children, the in-laws, the bills and all that, they have a "never ending safari of the subconscious", and both "live in anticipation and surprise", and none of that has to do with whether they're kinky or vanilla.

Now, if you spent your vanilla time putting everyone and everything ahead of your wife or girlfriend and things didn't go so well, I can see how you'd think this, but the truth is complacency exists in all relationships. It's just a matter of what we do with it.

juliet

(in reply to LadyEllen)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/7/2007 2:31:46 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with the majority of the posters.  Everybody's "stuff" is special...just in different ways.

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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/7/2007 6:42:05 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I do not believe that successful human relationships just happen because of "chemistry". They happened because of mutual desires, mutual interests, and mutual work.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/7/2007 7:06:34 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers
Very interesting response indeed. In the few times I have written the same in email...it has received agreement and some 'very well said's' but here it is the opposite.

Yeah, well there's a lot of people who think that being kinky or into Ms makes them "more special" and better than vanillas.

They are wrong.  And they rarely have the guts to bring up such wrong ideas publicly.

quote:

Also don't quite understand how this became vanilla 'bashing' or an 'Us vs them' kinda discussion. To merely mention what I have seen myself in far too many vanilla relationships over the years...it is ALL vanilla...and very routine but not here or why are we here ?

I'm here because it suits me to be.  Trust me, my life is pretty darn boring compared to a heck of a lot of vanillas.
quote:


This lifestyle isn't better or certainly much more extreme and far less routine than vanilla ?

No, it's not.
quote:


Didn't want to use the word dynamic here ? Rather, I thought I'd try to illusttrate this as a feeling between two or more people in a 24/7 M/s relationship.

That's great.  There are just as many Ms relationships in which the people are insecure, confused, bored, frustrated, unhappy and pissed and just as many vanilla relationships in which the people are dynamic, thrilled, and leading fabulously exciting lives.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MrRodgers)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/7/2007 7:24:26 AM   
rosanegra


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/1/2006
Status: offline 		Just my two cents on the matter here...

The only problem I have with vanilla folks is their unwillingness to accept that just because I like being a toy, just because I like being beaten and played with, just because I enjoy a very unique dynamic in the relationships I am in, doesn't mean I am in some way dysfunctional or crazy.

I may be dysfunctional or crazy, but my love of kink doesn't necessarily have anything to do with that.

That said, I think vanilla love can and has been just as fulfilling as ours. It can and has been just as disastrous.

I think ours, if anything, is just a little more dangerous.



(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/7/2007 7:31:17 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rosanegra
The only problem I have with vanilla folks is their unwillingness to accept that just because I like being a toy, just because I like being beaten and played with, just because I enjoy a very unique dynamic in the relationships I am in, doesn't mean I am in some way dysfunctional or crazy.

Except for the fact that I've had countless kinky people tell me that what I enjoy in my relationship means that I'm dysfunctional and crazy and plenty of vanilla people who are completely fine with it.

quote:

I think ours, if anything, is just a little more dangerous.

Personally I think mountain climbing is more dangerous than a huge majority of the kinky stuff we get into.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Will this do ? Chemistry - 2/7/2007 7:34:11 AM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		And what idiot came up with Vanilla? It smacks of 'them and us' really dosen't it! What if I want to be a bloody strawberry instead? 

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A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead.

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