RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule?

RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (Full Version)

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kate -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:01:14 AM)
ok....play while prego will not turn a baby into a pain slut, lol...that is just....wrong.....unborn babies can sence what the mother is feeling.. but if the mother feels good so does the baby...they can't fee the pain, they can just feel how the pain makes the mother feel......that is the same sa saying that you should not have sex when prego beasue your child might end up a nympho, lol....it dosen't work like that......all the baby would know is that it's mother is happy...and a happy mother is a happy baby...... but it was still very very wrong for her to dis-obey her Dom.... they need to open up comunications....... i would say that both need to be more open and understanding of each other....

agirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:02:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl So she has no right to be upset with her husband/dom for getting her pregnant, then wanting another simply because her body has changed shape due to her carrying his child? The sad thing is, it seems she did it to gain attention rather than to give him a much deserved punishment. Dom or not, he crossed the line. Oh pulease. None of the intention that you have spoken of, has been mentioned. Where on earth did you get it from? Does there have to be a blame/blame seek and find and if not found.....hey, invent it. It's a situation .....it's occurred... it probably needs understanding etc. in shovel-loads... from both sides. agirl

Squeakers -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:04:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirKenin Even in the example you set you are still responsible for your actions. If you go to work, it is a choice you consciously and deliberately made. How dedicated are you? Dedicated enough that you will follow through on your instruction no matter what? The ball is entirely in your court. Do you explain to your Dom that the instruction is impractical because of a), b) and c) and work through a negotiated settlement, or do you just intentionally disobey? Your actions are always, without fail, your responsibility. Yes, I'd negotiate and if he gave me some impractical rule to obey---I wouldn't obey it and consider myself damn lucky if he threw me to the curb. Just because I am submissive does not mean that I must not have some dedication and responsibility to myself. Dom's do have some responsibility in the relationship. If he is tossing out some impractical rules simply because He is Dom doesn't make those rules just or right and it has nothing to do with dedication. Dom doesn't equate perfection.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:06:30 AM)
He is the one who should be wearing a chastity belt, not her. There are certain things no woman should tolerate, slave or not. If I was in her situation, I would give him a choice of a divorce or wearing a locking male chastity belt and separating until he realized what an insensitive cad he was. Jerks like this are the ones who give good doms a bad name.

Squeakers -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:08:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sire60 I'm surprised that no one suggested the rules might have been unrealistic, or that the Dom failed to please his partner, and she was left to pleasure herself. I would never attempt to control someone by controlling their orgasms... that's minor league Domination in my mind. Minor league Domination!!! I love that phrase, it is copyrighted or can I use it. [;)]

stef -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:20:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Are you saying the REASON she did this should be overlooked? How would you feel if you were pregnant and your dom did this to you? I don't believe I said anything of the sort. I'm only operating on the "facts" we've been given by destinykitty. I don't ever plan on getting pregnant so that is a moot point. quote: So she has no right to be upset with her husband/dom for getting her pregnant, then wanting another simply because her body has changed shape due to her carrying his child? Where are you getting that from? Unless you have been talking to the man in question, how can you possibly know what his reasons are for wanting an additional person in their relationship? Please stick to what you know and not what you're picking up on the Billy Dee Williams psychic hotline. Destinykitty's second post says the following: "One thing that has come up from their conversation is that a lot it came from him wanting to take on another slave and her reaction instead of telling him of her fears and worries about that was he doesn't need me anymore so I will just keep myself happy." If she was feeling that way, she should have said something instead of simply choosing to ignore his directives. I suppose that's his fault too. quote: The sad thing is, it seems she did it to gain attention rather than to give him a much deserved punishment. Dom or not, he crossed the line. The sad thing is that you haven't a clue what you're talking about. Par for the course. ~stef

defiantbadgirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:25:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl So she has no right to be upset with her husband/dom for getting her pregnant, then wanting another simply because her body has changed shape due to her carrying his child? The sad thing is, it seems she did it to gain attention rather than to give him a much deserved punishment. Dom or not, he crossed the line. Oh pulease. None of the intention that you have spoken of, has been mentioned. Where on earth did you get it from? Does there have to be a blame/blame seek and find and if not found.....hey, invent it. It's a situation .....it's occurred... it probably needs understanding etc. in shovel-loads... from both sides. agirl Here are the facts. They are married. She is pregnant with his child. While she is pregnant with his child, he tells her he wants another woman. Even if they did discuss and agree to poly before the marriage, this is not the time to bring it up. Why should there not be blame if a husband gets his wife pregnant and then tells her he wants another woman when she's in a vulnerable state? Now if she was the one who suggested it to lessen her workload, it would be different.

agirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:27:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl He is the one who should be wearing a chastity belt, not her. There are certain things no woman should tolerate, slave or not. If I was in her situation, I would give him a choice of a divorce or wearing a locking male chastity belt and separating until he realized what an insensitive cad he was. Jerks like this are the ones who give good doms a bad name. *A good* dom doesn't get a bad name by association with a term, by anyone with common sense.**

DominaSmartass -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:34:24 AM)
quote: ...confessing that over the last three months she has broken every rule that he has given her some rules she had broken almost daily like playing with herself without permission and reaching climax without permission. She couldn't live with the guilt that was building up in her about it and had to tell him. They talked about her reasons behind it and he even admited to me that he is partly at fault. Neither of them want out of their 24/7 relationship but he doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to punish her too hard for something that he is at fault with but she needs to be punished and is pretty much begging for it. I am friends with both partys in this relationship and knowing her she feels like she needs a hard punishment to get rid of the guilt for three months. It's my opinion that when something like this is happening it's not a matter of needing punishment but for both people to reevaluate the relationship, what they want from it, what they were and weren't getting from it (and giving to it) etc. And then start from square one. Trust will probably have to be earned again but that's understandable. It seems to me that perhaps this woman doesn't really want to surrender control anymore like she did (I'm assuming) in the months between when the relationship began and when this trouble started. She was obviously resentful about something to act out against orders that were clearly given and maybe she felt some secret victory at subverting his authority. If they both want to keep the relationship going then they will need to change their expectations of what works for them and what makes them happy. I do believe that it's possible the dom was responsible for some of this because nothing happens in a vaccum. The fact that she did feel guilty and told all means that she wants to change and be better in the future, IMO. I think a lot of people have given sound advice here before me but those who recommend some sort of super-sized punishment, no, I don't think that's the answer.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:38:51 AM)
What I don't understand is how she could feel guilty when he got her pregnant and then told her he wanted another woman. Sounds to me like she has serious self esteem issues.

MagiksSlave -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:40:14 AM)
honestly people are looking at this wrong.. now that her beeing pregnent has been brought up jees BDSM is the LEAST of the issues here in fact given the sercomstances I think it would be smart to remove it totaly from the relationship for the time beeing. She is going to have needs now that far surpass beeing a slave and honestly the babys well beeing is most importent. The worst thing that could be done right now for the baby is to add more stress and really at the moment I care little of the 2 "Adults" here that have fucked things up so royaly but instead for the unborn child that is going to be needlessly negativaly effected by all of these issues.. Yup BDSM deffinetly should have no place in all of this right now.. and as I said befor this guy is a real ass for trying to bring another in at this point... going poly is emotionaly stressfull and potentialy emotionaly desasterouse under the best of sercomstances and any moron could see without even knowing about the issues behind the missbehavior or the misbehaviors themselvs that the pegnansy alone should be enough of a thing to put your own desires of poly off. I dont get why no one seems to be careing about this poor unborn child!! Magik's slave

agirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 10:42:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl So she has no right to be upset with her husband/dom for getting her pregnant, then wanting another simply because her body has changed shape due to her carrying his child? The sad thing is, it seems she did it to gain attention rather than to give him a much deserved punishment. Dom or not, he crossed the line. Oh pulease. None of the intention that you have spoken of, has been mentioned. Where on earth did you get it from? Does there have to be a blame/blame seek and find and if not found.....hey, invent it. It's a situation .....it's occurred... it probably needs understanding etc. in shovel-loads... from both sides. agirl Here are the facts. They are married. She is pregnant with his child. While she is pregnant with his child, he tells her he wants another woman. Even if they did discuss and agree to poly before the marriage, this is not the time to bring it up. Why should there not be blame if a husband gets his wife pregnant and then tells her he wants another woman when she's in a vulnerable state? Now if she was the one who suggested it to lessen her workload, it would be different. Here's another one.......You can't be got pregnant. It takes two. If you're having sex and you're fertile .......... hold the thought that there's a risk of becoming a parent from both sides of the condom/pill/patch/withdrawal. The blame that I find distasteful is the unsubstantiated/ uninformed/ biased/ my own world view/ type of blame......and still I'd ask .....Is it helpful? With the best will in the world, you do not know the facts. You have SOME facts with a heavy spin that you've loaded them with. agirl

agirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 11:00:11 AM)
It doesn't seem to be anything like aroyal-fuck-up. From the OP, the chap has taken a day from work to talk, the girl has spoken about her fears and worries......looks like a bit of-a-fuck-up, from here. It's a bit over the top to be getting carried away about the poor unborn baby, quite yet. Mind you, I'm probably guilty of not injecting enough emotion into these things. agirl

defiantbadgirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 11:04:08 AM)
Even if she knew at the time she became pregnant that he wanted another at some point, during her pregnancy was not the time to bring it up.I still say he needs to be kicked out for a short time while wearing a locking male chastity device. This dom crossed the line and needs a reality check before he becomes a father. What kind of example will he be setting for his child?

texancutie -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 11:05:58 AM)
Collared and married and expecting their first baby!???? They need to refocus on their marriage right now, and try to reconnect that way first. Hate to say it but the problems in BDSM need to be addressed later. Though they still need to be addressed. When a woman is pregnant, her hormones are way out of whack. My sister in law went a little nuts when she was pregnant, couldn't help it. Emotional mood swings but also sometimes pregnancy can make one damn horny. Though that varies individual to individual of course. Why does he want another slave right now? Well in hindsight, am sure he has his reasons. I have seen a few profiles on CollarMe where it appears that a couple is looking for a slave who serves as a babysitter and helper. There were no other duties really discussed on those profiles though. Hard situation to be in, but I certainly would not make any woman 3 months or more pregnant sleep without blankets and pillows. It's hard enough alone to stay comfortable when in bed...lol. Would the wife be the alpha in the poly situation, or will there be no alpha? Just all sounds too dicey to bring someone in right now or even in the near future. There is even probably more to this story than we are all aware of anyway. And some of the posters that suggested punishment and throwing her out on the streets, shame on you....lol. Pregnancies can carry complications and risks even when punishment is suggested.

agirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 11:27:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Even if she knew at the time she became pregnant that he wanted another at some point, during her pregnancy was not the time to bring it up.I still say he needs to be kicked out for a short time while wearing a locking male chastity device. This dom crossed the line and needs a reality check before he becomes a father. What kind of example will he be setting for his child? I advocate they both get thrown to the gutter wearing chastity devices. It's much better that people escalate difficult and emotional circumstances with extreme actions to better serve their unborn offspring.......LOL agirl

defiantbadgirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 11:27:32 AM)
I can definitely see the need for a babysitter and helper. However, I'll bet most of these couples have discussed such matters before the marriage and pregnancy and both agreed to them. Obviously this is not the case in this situation. The wife's reaction, whether from resentment or desperation for attention because she fears losing her husband, suggests otherwise. I have said this before and I'll say it again. I respect polygamists alot more than those who have casual unprotected sex with multiple partners and spread disease. However, a polygamous minded individual who enters a monogamous marriage without first discussing possible future polygamy is no different from a bisexual man entering a straight marriage and deliberately lying about his sexual orientation.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 11:37:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl Even if she knew at the time she became pregnant that he wanted another at some point, during her pregnancy was not the time to bring it up.I still say he needs to be kicked out for a short time while wearing a locking male chastity device. This dom crossed the line and needs a reality check before he becomes a father. What kind of example will he be setting for his child? I advocate they both get thrown to the gutter wearing chastity devices. It's much better that people escalate difficult and emotional circumstances with extreme actions to better serve their unborn offspring.......LOL agirl The point I'm trying to make is this guy is way out of line. Unless he changes his attitude, his child will learn it's ok for a husband to turn to another after getting his wife pregnant. Just like many boys who grow up around non-consentual domestic violence end up abusing their own wives.

mnottertail -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 11:39:00 AM)
quote: ~stef Please stick to what you know and not what you're picking up on the Billy Dee Williams psychic hotline. How did I know you were going to say that? The Amazing Kreskin

texancutie -> RE: How to punish a slave that has broken every rule? (2/7/2007 11:46:44 AM)
Actually, I was kind of making a snide comment that I have seen profiles on CollarMe where it appears all the couple is looking for is a babysitter and someone to help out the wife with those duties. While it may work for a service submissive who gets all they need out of this by being a work horse and nothing more than that. Though I do have a male sub friend that is a service submissive, but he personally needs some human fellowship as well. It is not fine for many others. And that is ok. Was just trying to say, everything needs to be clear, upfront and on the table so to speak. No room for any misunderstandings, and it appears that this couple seem to have some communication problems. But it really does take special people to make polygamy work, and my hat is off to the successful ones.

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