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Kondolinni -> RE: stupid ? (2/8/2007 6:55:17 AM)
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Approaching the decision to become more involved in an alternative lifestyle choice is the same as any other endeavor one may or may not undertake. The enrichment and reward you receive from your choices is entirely dependant on your commitment.
One of the "real" differences between being a grown up and a kid is that a grown up is able to disguise their motives (or, more relevent to my point; lack thereof) better. Both kids and adults do poorly at activities that do not attract and hold our attention, and better at ones that do.
The wind up is this: you will have to invest personal time and effort into learning what you want out of this and then seeking it. If you are prepared to do that, and by this I mean, if you still feel motivated and positive about it AFTER you find out how much you have to learn, well... then you'll know this is right for you.
If it is, then I suggest you first spend time alone with yourself. Define your own desires and motivations first, before you try to impose them or integrate them with somebody else. You need to learn what your kinks are. What your ego-base is. What your drives are, as a man, and as a sexual being. Inspect your personality. Look at the basic nature of your inter-personal relationships with the people you meet in your day to day life. What are the dynamics you impose on others you deal with? Take a look at your fantasies. What you dream about when you let your mind have free reign is a good way to learn what you really want or need, often especially where sexual desires are concerned.
This process does not have to be exhaustive. You will still have a lot to learn about yourself as you progress in your chosen lifestyle. But you will do yourself a big favor, believe me, if you perform at least a little self-analyzation before you begin interacting with others in the life.
After that, there are a multitude of resources that can help you find others who may potentially share your interests, online and in real life. But, once you have a set of goals and a good idea of what you are/want, you should certainly try to find local venues where you can meet and interact with others in the life. The more you talk with people who live alternative lifestyles, the greater your perspective will be on what works best for you.
Good luck. I hope I have helped a little.
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