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Questions That Need Answers - 3/8/2005 10:45:31 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? (I LOVE that one... especially considering who is in charge of the U.S. right now.)

13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

14. Stop singing and read on..........

15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

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RE: Questions That Need Answers - 3/8/2005 11:05:02 PM

fencerpet19

Posts: 169
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline

LMAO! these are great! A friend of mine actually asked my english teacher #10 and she said "testicle" then got so mad! It took her a few seconds to realize what she'd said! So funny!
~FP

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"When I'm good I'm very, very good. But when I'm bad I'm better." - Mae West

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

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RE: Questions That Need Answers - 3/8/2005 11:23:17 PM

Pavel

Posts: 308
Joined: 1/10/2005
From: Washington
Status: offline

1. Ug Smith, in a drunken frat prank assaulted a bovine and procceded to suck on the first portion that presented itself. Ug proclaimed it to be "quite rad" before being messily consumed by a giant tree rodent.

2. President Franklin Pierce.

3. As dictated under the Geneva Convention, anyone useing a light inside a freezer is not entitled to rights as a POW

4. To spite Johnny who also cracks corn, but we care even less about.

5. Only if it's Dick Clark or a Zombie.

6. Out of respect for the grays from Zeti Reticuli, who actually pee through their nose.

7. It's because he/she's actually 2 people.

8. goofy is actually the end product of accelerated evolution by the grays, however, said evolution fried his brain.

9. The Acme stuff is all provided under US goverment grants to keep the rocket shoe industry on it's feet.

10. Evil. They're just evil.

11. Soylent green lite.

12. It actually comes from the morlatani plant, which grows only in the deepest congo, and only blossums once every other leap year, and only if you file your taxes on time.

13. It dates back to the Chase Comstack laws of the 1880s.

14. maybe!

15. Yep.

16. It's because puppies like to have their ears flap in the wind (ok, can't be sarcastic there, as that's how my puppies work)

17. Only if you're running on metric time.

18. Jesus. That's all you need to know.

(in reply to MadameDahlia)

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