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sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/7/2007 10:39:43 PM

hobbit9sub4u

Posts: 130
Joined: 10/29/2006
From: Bates Motel(florida)
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ive only posted a topic here once befroe when i joined, but i need some help and thoguth i would come here, if its in the wrng place please let me know. the problem is i think ive been experianc ing sub drop, but i amnot sure, the scenarrio is this...

i spent the weekend in service to my master and anothr dom who has been teaching us the roaps so to speak, he had his sub there as well and we got on famously, had a very nice time all 4 of us, i had never spent so long in constant service and now that im home(and my moms in the house, she lives with us) its hard fo rme to find my center as a sub, harder to submit even.

ive been a bad sub, talking back, yelling at master a little and crying for no reason, my question is are these symptoms of the sub drop that ive heard about?

maybe you guys could point me to some threads to read about this on here, maybe you could help me find y center, i dont know, i do know ive been wrong and i aploigized and everything to master, we had a talk, but i want to know ways to keep this from happening or maybe ways to deal with it.

oh, more background, i am married to my master, newly married after beign together almost 2 years, we live in my mothers house but we pay the bills, she is unwell and needs constant care, master is new to this and we are both learnign. we are both commited 100% to this and i want to make myself the best sub i can for him. i cant do this if i am weepy and depressed all the time after such awesome play scessions.

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/7/2007 11:24:51 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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It could be, did you "scene" or "play" when you were gone? Bondage, interogation, spankings, anything like that? I have personally only experienced subdrop after being in subspace. Were you in subspace?

You mentioned a mother living with you, perhaps this puts a constraint on your behavior? If it does, then returning from a place where you had relative freedom to express who you are in your relationship back to a situation where you do not could be the thing that is emotionally upsetting you perhaps? You were not specific so I cannot answer. If you provide more info I am sure you will get lots more answers that could be more helpful... but they may not be forthcoming until tomorrow morning when people start reading the forum.

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/7/2007 11:30:30 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Oh, here is a link to one thread, if you go down to the post made my LuckyAlbatross, you will find a bevy of other links to answer your questions...
http://www.collarchat.com/m_782514/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#783081

And one thing I have noticed.. if right after subspace I am in an emotionally undesirable situation it increases the likelihood of subdrop. I have only had subdrop once that emotionally disturbed me, the first time my Daddy and I played. He had to go back home the next morning and I could not spend the night with him because of family obligations on my part. It was the emotionality of separating so soon that completely spiraled me into a bad drop. There are things that can be done to help you get better if that is what is happening. Read the links that LuckyAlbatross references...

Good luck

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/7/2007 11:50:51 PM

hobbit9sub4u

Posts: 130
Joined: 10/29/2006
From: Bates Motel(florida)
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thanks for the links, yes i was in subspace several times and we played whenever master felt the need. it was a very lovely weekend, heavy play and such. i just havent h=ever experianced thisfeeling before. i am failrly new so i didnt know ifthis was sub drop or just a sign of me not being able to handle all of this.

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/8/2007 12:18:44 AM

AZSweetie

Posts: 147
Joined: 1/6/2007
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i have experienced emotions just like yours after being in subspace. However, for some reason i would go into subdrop if i was brought down gradually out of subspace. i'd cry for hours and get kinda bitchy too. If i was at my peak in subspace and the session just dead ended there, i was happy as a baby in a fresh diaper and NEVER experienced subdrop. Weird huh? Anywho, since you both are new to the lifestyle you are likely to experience many emotions that you havent before and will learn what works for both of you through trial and error =)

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/8/2007 6:42:40 AM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AZSweetie

Anywho, since you both are new to the lifestyle you are likely to experience many emotions that you havent before and will learn what works for both of you through trial and error =)

I think that's great advice, I know I had similar feelings as well...it's hard to sort out what you are feeling in the beginning sometimes.

my best advice would be, talk to your master, tell him what you are going through, and try and take it easy on yourself for a few days. do the things that make you feel comfortable and secure.

best,

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/8/2007 6:57:11 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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Sounds like subdrop to me. Extra cuddle time is called for, so is napping and orgasms. Remember to eat and drink a lot of water.

In future. Don't get dehydrated, don't get undernourished. Bring water bottles, power bars, etc. We do bondage and I always bring water in. Then while he redoes the ropes, I have something to drink and so does he. Take a break whenever you need one and remember to check in with your body. If tired say so and ask for a short nap, if hungry fruit and some kind of cheese and crackers are easy and quick. Cut up before if you can.

There is a tendency when you get away from home and the chores and other family obligations to play constantly which gets you overtired, dehydrated and overly hungry so you then eat the wrong stuff. Watch for this and avoid it.

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/8/2007 7:35:19 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Well I am thinking that subdrop might have exacerbated the issue, but I'm actually going out on a limb and saying more than it was your overall sense of insecurity (which I'm guessing has a lot of layers to it) with the situation that was letting itself out.

The subdrop unlocked the door- the rest of it is what flooded out of you during that period. The stuff that flooded out needs to be handled differently and with a much more serious light than simply a period of emotional dysphoria.

Here are links to help with the subdrop itself. Using these will help you control yourself better next time. But you need to learn other ways to cope and how to emotionally open up in smaller chunks and work on the insecurities directly.

But hey, we all have bad days when it all comes crashing down- as long as we apologize for them and don't make it a repeated common occurrence, it's ok.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_743958/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#744221
sub drop please help

http://www.collarchat.com/m_649399/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#649697
Coming down from the glorious heights

http://www.collarchat.com/m_522013/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#522021
sub drop, definitions, causes, cures, and prevention

http://www.collarchat.com/m_512884/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#513003
Your insight is needed please

http://www.collarchat.com/m_487853/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#488083
sub drop (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_460639/mpage_1/key_subdrop/tm.htm#460834
regaining balance after deep subspace

http://www.collarchat.com/m_202168/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#202459
sub-drop what is it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_345419/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#345462
highs and lows

http://www.collarchat.com/m_398653/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cdrop/tm.htm#399164
subdrop or what?

Is it drop or am I kidding myself?

Depression after a scene

Sub Drop

Nervous sub seeks reassurance

sleeping...

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/8/2007 10:52:26 AM

slavekara

Posts: 76
Joined: 12/13/2005
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Greetings All,

After this girlhas spent a weekend with her Master on the first occasion when she was new to her collar, Master warned her that she may experience a 'sub drop' He then explained what it was...

Within an hour of this girl returning home she cried all night, she then had it again but it werent as bad.

This girl see's it as a form of emotion with happens when the mind and body are exhausted to the extent ofnot being able to control their emotions. This girl is sure that is happens to alot ofsubmissive, and maybe even Dominants.

This girl hopes she helped.

slave kara (A)

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/8/2007 11:13:29 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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Kara's right. Tops can drop also. Same recommendations, emotional reassurance, physical care, watch out for the physical stuff on top of the emotional in the future. You can't always predict what your emotional response will be, but you can tell what the physical problems will be so avoid having them occur.

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/8/2007 11:59:02 AM

slavekara

Posts: 76
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

Greetings All,

this girl forgot to mention one thing in her last reply.

This girl has never experienced sub space before, sometimes, maybe, there is a connection but in this girlscase, it wasnt.

:)
again she hopes her opinions and experiences have helped.

slave kara (A)

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/8/2007 3:07:45 PM

hobbit9sub4u

Posts: 130
Joined: 10/29/2006
From: Bates Motel(florida)
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thank you all for your replies, i will tell master about them as i think he will find them interesting. *hugs* thank you all so much again.

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RE: sub drop maybe? help please. - 2/9/2007 3:56:47 AM

goodpet

Posts: 458
Joined: 6/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Well I am thinking that subdrop might have exacerbated the issue, but I'm actually going out on a limb and saying more than it was your overall sense of insecurity (which I'm guessing has a lot of layers to it) with the situation that was letting itself out.

The subdrop unlocked the door- the rest of it is what flooded out of you during that period. The stuff that flooded out needs to be handled differently and with a much more serious light than simply a period of emotional dysphoria.
......

I think you are on the right issue LA, the play and emotional release from the play allowed all the other, life issues, to find the flood gates opened and so took advantage of them to surface.

Subspace and/or subdrop may heighten emotions but they don't CAUSE depression or fighting or bad behaviors. If there is verbal snapping, yelling, misbehaving then that is different issue that the emotional release of heavy play just gave an opportunity to let them out.

suggestion: there are deep personal issues going on with the new marriage, living with your mom, taking care of an ill parent, and so on,.... deal with these life issues. BDSM or D/s is not a cure all for problems in life.. they can help or even give grounding while dealing with life things but BDSM dose not 'fix' people.

good luck, keep us posted.

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