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RE: This just hit me. - 3/24/2005 1:03:41 PM

sub4hire

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quote:

There is, it's called "fiction."

Suggesting some elements of the film are less than realistic is far from saying the entire thing is pointless and abusive.

I agree with you. However more often than not when you ask people about the secretary. They will tell you it is right on target. It is what most fantasies are based on.

One thing I learned while seeking out a dominant was. Those fantasies if the wrong person gets a hold of them they become reality.
Some fantasies are good, while some are not.

Of course there are also the people out there who would say it is unsubmissive like to not want to be permanently damaged. Then, I find that to be abuse as well.

Watch the threads. Read what people say. Don't just quickly move through them. Read this thread. Many are based in fantasy. Fantasy can be taken too far. So, yes it would be fabulous to see a movie come out that was real and had a good aspect on the lifestyle rather than be yet another deterrent.

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RE: This just hit me. - 3/24/2005 1:37:10 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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First off, movies aren't like that. Most movies that are successful and moving have really sucky negative bits in them.

Secondly, if anyone DID make a movie with bdsm like that, you'd have JUST as many people saying "Bdsm isn't like that, there's scary and nasty and abusive people and it's not all just positive."

If you want reality- you make documentaries. Those are both positive and negative because that's what reality is. It also tends to be boring and factual.

I'm not going to shuffle responsibility for someone putting their fantasy into the wrong persons hands just because they saw a movie about it. Not all fantasies are good either, I've had nasty bad evil wrong wrong wrong fantasies, and I revel in them.

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RE: This just hit me. - 3/26/2005 6:31:15 AM

Chilli

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Joined: 2/27/2005
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There are a few too many inferences of mental instability associated with D/s in Secretary. in my opinion.

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RE: This just hit me. - 3/26/2005 12:16:07 PM

Guest

umm "too many issues"???

Maybe we didn't watch the same movie... isn't the basic theme of the flick two fucked up, lost people who inadvertantly find both themselves and as a result a greater love where they least expected it?

It's hardlya documentary on D/s relationships, nor a docudrama even. D/s is simply the backdrop.

Maybe I am missing something??

Mod5

< Message edited by ModeratorFive -- 3/26/2005 12:17:29 PM >

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RE: This just hit me. - 3/26/2005 4:59:24 PM

Chilli

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Yes we watched the same movie, and I did think it was a good watch. (Far preferable to Die Hard 4 etc etc) but I did feel annoyed that the female character was *emotionally disturbed* which leads in to the whole general stereotype that you must be at least a bit fucked in the first place to be into BDSM.

And yes yes, I know this is just a mainstream movie and Im being picky, but what the hell.

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RE: This just hit me. - 4/7/2005 1:25:37 PM

lil1v

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Here I'll summarize for you.
She is into cutting, her self esteem is in the toilet. Finds a man who realizes just where she is and decides to exploit her. Her "boss" He tells her to stop the bad behavior and beats here when she doesn't.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
Although for the sake of the movie she does not move. When he finally does come back by some miracle of fate she is still alive after not eaten or drank any water for days. Peeing and defecating on herself. A mere 12 hour's in an airplane can do damage. Yet, the miracles happen again. THere is no circulation damage either.

Because of all of this, he chooses to marry her. She is an obedient, yet not healed in any way servant whom he can abuse at will and he knows she will never stand up for herself. No matter how bad the abuse.

I'm questioning if we saw the same movie. I can't remeber why he let her go or she quit.. but she wanted him back. And to prove to him that she was sincere she stayed and did as she was told. He actually was outside the office wall for part of it, watching her. Sure it was extreme and I'd have left and gone to the bathroom and come back, but its a movie.

He chooses to marry her because he finally believes her that she in does in fact love him back. He carries her home and bathes and nurses her back to health. And as for her not standing up for herself... *laughs* At the end of the movie her self esteem is high and she's confident. Her head is held high, she is proud of who she is, and she's also brat. Or did you not catch the whole dead roach part at the end where she's looking at the clean nicely made crisp white bed and sneaks a dead cockroach out of her shirt pocket and drops it on there.

I never got the idea that this was a movie about two mental cases, but about two misunderstood people finding what they both needed in each other.

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V

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RE: This just hit me. - 4/7/2005 4:19:26 PM

sweetpettjenny

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i'll take a little of both with a nice sadist....smiles

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RE: This just hit me. - 4/13/2005 12:32:04 PM

littleone35

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To go back to the first ost i would hve to say cinderella why i gues because i amam an incurable romantice and Master is my "prince"

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RE: This just hit me. - 4/13/2005 1:12:46 PM

selphaware

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Am I the only one that saw the affection in him? That he KNEW why she was cutting was a way to punish herself for what she thought were her wrong doings. He didn't want to see her cutting herself and thus punished her himself to alieviate her need for self-infliction. She loved him for it.

I'm questioning if we saw the same movie. I can't remeber why he let her go or she quit.. but she wanted him back.

i agree completely -- he knew what she was immediately, and responded strongly to her. he was as confused as she, and felt plenty of self-loathing, and if i remember correctly (i saw it when it came out), he tried to break things off with her because he was worried that what they were both into was "wrong" or "sick" or "unhealthy." and again, my memory may be morphing the movie in my head, but i don't recall him asking or telling her to stay there for days in an unhealthy way -- i thought she took it upon herself to do that, to show him that she was steadfast in believing their relationship was *good* and a thing that would enable them both to ultimately feel happier and more healed in life. she wanted him, and she wanted their strange interplay, and that was how she chose to show him. and she was radiant at the end -- i thought her suffering was a bit extreme for the sake of drama, but overall, she clearly benefitted from the relationship, and i'd say he did, too.

i should watch it again -- i really enjoyed it. i'd love a version where the genders are switched, so that it's a Domme and a male submissive...but one step at a time, i guess...

s.

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RE: This just hit me. - 4/13/2005 9:47:02 PM

cellogrrlMK

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

Frankly, I hated the story of O. I think it was an examply of a very unhealthy relationship, and it totally turned me off.

Take some of the scenes of hte Chateau out of context, and their hot, but placed in the rest of the novel...it's more than a little icky to me.

The Story of O did absolutely nothing for me either, to the point of not even being interested in reading the sequel. I read it because a Dominant I know was greatly influenced by it in his choice of lifestyle, and we discussed it at length after I read it... but again, it didn't do anything for me.

Secretary was recommended to me by a vanilla friend who knows my proclivities. I got the DVD and watched it and it didn't do a hell of a lot for me either. I found it interesting how terrified he seemed to be of his ex-wife; nobody's mentioned that part, what do you all think?

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Post #: 30