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KnightofMists -> RE: sub drop? excuses (2/10/2007 6:55:16 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: prettichinadoll
Different people need different things. I admit there're subs who doesn't need aftercare, there're subs whose needs for after care depends on the situation and the intensity of the scene, and there're subs who needs after care every time they play. I've experienced sub drop once, and that's not something I ever want to experience again. When I read your post, I feel that what you're saying is "stop faking sub drop and deal with what your depression yourself!" That's not a bad point, if someone is really "faking" a sub drop. Yet, as a Master or a friend, how could you know this person is faking everything? How would you know she's not seriously need it?
It is not so much they are faking it... it' is more like ... it "quacks" and they call it a goose.. instead of a duck.
maybe they don't know what a duck is... maybe they are in denial that it is a duck. lots of reasons for the variety of situaitons.
quote:
I've been thinking about writing "Illusion of responsibility" for sometime, but couldn't come up with a valid concept, because responsibility is real in this lifestyle, and dom is responsible. Unless previously negotiated clearly, a sub drop from a scene is dom's responsibility. If a certain dom don't want that kind of trouble, he could always make it clear up front that "I don't do after care, and if there's a sub drop because of the scene, you have to deal with it yourself". LOL, I would imagine if this certain dom actually put this up front, not many people will want to play with him. But at least he's honest.
This is BS... it is no one single person's responsibility. But... alot love to deny their own responsibilities and pass it on to someone else. It so much easier for some to blame someone else for one's own problems and issues.. than to take responsibility for themself. Don't have much use for these types of individuals. And the stupid people that want to take responsibility for what is not theirs.
I think, purely from a logic point of view, there're people who actually faking sub drop hoping the dom would be there for them, there're people who would lie to get attention, who doesn't have a life, and want other people to solve all there issue. But I believe most of the subs, when they experiencing sub drop, it is very real, it is very horrible, something no one would want to get through in exchange for some mere attention.
quote:
So, if I could make a suggestion, next time when you put up a post like this, don't generalize things, don't make it sounds like you're attacking people (notice I didn't say you're attacking, i just say you make it sounds like you're attacking). The point of communication is make other people listen, when you start attacking, people will start denfending, and when they start defending, they'll stop listen. and you won't be able to communicate to someone who doesn't want to listen to you.
LMAO.. maybe you should take your own advice.
Then again, that's just my opinion.
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