TemptingNviceSub
Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: losttreasure
Okay... since you deigned to give a serious reason, I'll bite. 
This was written on the presumption that the "wife" described in the other thread would be considered desirable.
Hence the "complimentary" thing.
You know, good wife... as in "yes, I like".
Ergo, were the desired sub like the "good wife" - the dom described here would be a suitable match for her.
Obviously, you're feel you aren't. That's okay. You might not be one to want a "good wife" sub.
However, please note that nowhere in the above is there the requirement for rigidity. It is merely a call for consistency and courtesy. If as a dominant you require flexibility, I see nothing that would prevent you from being consistent or courteous in that requirement.
There is no insistence that you talk at the time that she wants to... merely an encouragement that you be gracious when she requests it. Hopefully, you've allowed her to know you well enough that she will understand when you simply don't feel like talking. The point is, that it's wise for you to make time to talk. Otherwise, there is no communication and quite frankly, not much point to the relationship.
As far as expecting that "the thing for a sub or slave" is that they will anticipate, or meld with your needs and desires of the moment... the answer is no, it does not need to be rigid.
I do not disagree with your idea that a submissive should anticipate and meld with the immediate needs and desires of a dominant, however, allow me to be controversial... see my sig line?
Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you".
Of course, the following is merely my interpretation and I'm in no way saying this is how it should be for everyone.
But you see... I view D/s as a relationship. A relationship of whatever kind you like; it's still two people relating to one another. However, despite the dominant having control and the submissive relinquishing control, they are both still equal partners in the relationship.
That doesn't mean the control in the relationship is equal, it means that the dom is one of two (assuming a monogamous arrangement) and the submissive is one of two... they are each one-half of the relationship. And as you can't have fractions of a viable human being, there can be no other equation.
As humans, both dominant and submissive have needs... and as equal partners in the relationship, both have the right to have those needs fulfilled within the relationship.
Now a submissive may give up control of her rights to her dominant, but she still has them and it becomes the dominant's responsibility to protect those rights. He might decide when and how those needs of hers are fulfilled, but if he ignores them he will most likely soon find himself without a submissive.
While the relationship may not be all about her, that doesn't automatically mean that it is all about him. It's not about one to the exclusion of the other... it's about both together.
So... the submissive who anticipates and melds with the immediate needs and desires of her dominant is a good submissive, but the dominant who has consideration for his submissives needs is a great dom.
OH WOW !!! treasure you blow me away! BRAVA!!!...dang! I wish I had your way with words!!...I have now ,for the first time ,saved this in my favorites...... ...Tempting
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