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michaels4evr -> RE: question about play parties from a novice (2/10/2007 11:47:56 AM)
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I've been to and have hosted several different types of play parties. Many are as those have described above which are more social and simultaneous play between partners, friends and/or acquaintances. Some can best be described as "cocktail parties with whips" and others are more dungeon-like, or "dark" for lack of a better term. For many people, it is an opportunity to engage in sensation play using equipment not readily available at home, like St. Andrews Crosses, spanking benches, stocks, torture chairs, and other large devices. For some it presents an opportunity to interact with other people into BDSM, and to express protocols they are unable to routinely engage in due to home environment or societal concerns. For example, for some in service roles, it is immensely rewarding to serve one's Dominant in a group setting, or in "dungeon space" and likewise, some Dominants enjoy having their submissives on display. Exhibitionists and voyeurs alike get their needs met at such parties. Most play parties have a set of rules that are shared with guests either prior to the event, or upon arrival. Some parties actually have folks sign disclaimers and check ID to ensure only adults are admitted. There are Dungeon Monitors or DMs at some of the larger parties, and at smaller house parties, the hosts tend to serve in this capacity. DMs ensure safety measures are followed during scenes and there is sometimes a "house safe word" in effect. If the DM hears the safeword they will stop the scene.
In terms of sex, most play parties held in public venues disallow any type of insertion play at all, whether the object is animate or inanimate. Private parties held in homes usually have no rules against sex other than possibly guidelines regarding safer sex practices. Most hosts provide supplies such as condoms, latex gloves, lube, etc. The vast majority of parties I've attended have been sexless, unfortunately. When "playing" Daddy and I tend to be quite sexual, and have no real inhibitions that would prevent us from engaging in the act as long as we were among people we trust. Therefore the type of parties we prefer tend to be smaller, more intimate, with people we know rather well. In terms of alcohol, there are some venues that prohibit it completely, and others that allow it but encourage responsible drinking. I've seen a few folks tossed out for PWI (playing while intoxicated).
When we host parties, we always offer to provide a newcomer with a chaperone or buddy so that they will be more comfortable at the event. Likewise, we have a social period prior to opening the dungeon for play where all houserules are explained, and folks can get to know eachother a bit. My best advise is to do your homework, talk to others who have attended such functions, and remember that if you don't like what you see, you can simply leave.
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