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Jaykemspride -> working down the list here hehehe (2/10/2007 2:47:33 PM)
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1. Pushing limits does not mean that making Master so angry that the vein over His right eye throbs.
2. "Quit it, OW,Dammit" or "i'm hiding that toy when You go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are not safe words.
3. "Oh my God, where did You get those? They are gorgeous", is not considered boot worship.
4. "Ya want fries with that?" or "You want me to drink it to for Ya?" are not approriate remarks when Master gives You an elaborate drink order.
5. Flipping your Master off when your hands are cuffed behind your back is not a good idea. Owners have a way of knowing these things.
6. Putting loob, goop, superglue, ink or any other substance that will sully the mood of Master setting up for a session, is not a good idea.
7. Kicking the toy you hate under the bed is futile. Master will only secure your wristcuffs to your anklecuffs and make you crawl for it, repeatedly.
8. "Bite me" is never an intelligent response to a command.
9. Doing you Beavis and Butthead imitation of "Fire, fire, fire!" during Masters lecture on fireplay safety is considered rude.
10. Responding with "Yes, All Wise, All Knowing, Grand Imperial Weenie" is not appropraite when Master asks you if you are comfortable during a bondage scene.
11. Asking to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes, while Master practises His His Japanese rope work on you, will try His patience....quickly.
12. Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out while Master is discussing your punishment, is not wise.
13. There is no such time as slave immunity, free slave day or PMS defense. The slave dury might not convict you, but the Dom Judge will override the verdict. Count on it!!!
14. Pretending Masters collection of buttplugs are toys and singing "Weenies Wobble But They Wont Fall Down" song, is not a good idea.
15. Repeatedly blowing out each candle Master lights during wax play will get you punished.
16. Checking Masters Head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same....or worse!
17. "i know You are but what am i?" is not the appropriate response when called a "raunchy little whore" during humiliation play.
18. Using spreader bars, paddles or canes for the fireplace is not a good plan.
19. “Missed me missed me, now You gotta kiss me” is an unacceptable remark when Masters flogger slips.
20. When Master pulls out His bullwhip and says He wants to play, that doesn’t mean hide-and-seek….He WILL find you eventually.
21. Calling Merry Maids when you are ordered to spruce up the place, is not what Master had in mind.
22. “Faster faster we need a new Master” is NOT the song to sing during a scene.
23. “Oh and You think I am” is an unacceptable response in hearing Master say He is not happy.
24. During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious imitation of Igor and hunch over moaning “Yes Master” when ordered to fetch something.
25. Adding “Sir/Ma’am” or Master/Mistress” to “Fuck That” will not save you.
26. Singing the chorus of “Anything You Can Do i Can DO Better” under your breath during a session, is considered foolhardy.
27. Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation scene to crack your Master up, only lasts so long. Then you will pay….BIG.
28. Arguing whether “Master may not be right, but Master is never wrong” is Zen or Buddhist philosophy, will only get you rewarded with kneeling in the corner for you to consider the question in quiet contemplation.
And last but not least……………………….
29. Asking “Is that as hard as You can hit” is considered a cry for help among submissive suicidals.
ho
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