English For Trolls (Full Version)

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LadyEllen -> English For Trolls (2/11/2007 4:35:11 AM)

Due to recent legislation regarding diversity and the consequent need to avoid social exclusion of minority groups from all activities in our society, it has been suggested that in future provision must be made for trolls to participate in the fora here.

However, there is a significant barrier to this, in that trolls do not speak English well enough to communicate freely. Equally, English speakers do not widely understand trollish. Therefore, in an effort to promote understanding, the Institute For Troll Advancement hereby invites all, human and troll alike, to assist in the compilation of a phrasebook, consisting of simple phrases and their equivalents in the respective languages.

For example, one which we at the Institute know already would be;

TROLL; u r hot wanna fuk?
would translate in English as; I find you very attractive, and would like to get to know you better.

We are looking for contributions in the format of;

TROLL;
ENGLISH;

The Institute thanks all in advance for their kind assistance in this matter.

E




Aileen68 -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 4:39:52 AM)

Troll:  Neal Bitch.  
English:  Let me fulfill your lifelong romantic fantasies of being swept away by me, a dashing uber dom named Neal.  [:)]



gooddogbenji -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 4:49:09 AM)

TROLL: ur hot
ENGLISH:

Dear Madam,

I hope this message finds you well. 

Browsing through profiles, I noticed yours immediately.  At first glance, your resplendant beauty, brightening the page, adding a warm glow to the otherwise cold world of Collarme, but also your profile text.  In it, I saw a depth of heart otherwise reserved for the works of Shakespeare, Shelley, or Chandler, I realized, at once, that you are a singular example of perfection. 

I do, however, have a few questions for you, but would rather hear what you would like to know of me first.

I remain,

your obediant servant,


O.G.



ldmila -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 5:17:35 AM)

Troll: u r not aloud to cum
English: would you please keep it quiet



Musicmystery -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 5:50:36 AM)

TROLL:

Unbelievable Headlights! I wanna nock u up!

ENGLISH:

Who will believe my verse in time to come,
If it were fill'd with your most high deserts?
Though yet, heaven knows, it is but as a tomb
Which hides your life and shows not half of your parts.
If I could write the beauty of your eyes
And in fresh numbers number all your graces,
The age to come would say 'This poet lies:
Such heavenly touches ne'er touch'd earthly faces.'
So should my papers yellow'd with their age
Be scorn'd like old men of less truth than tongue,
And your true rights be term'd a poet's rage
And stretched metre of na antique song:
But were some child of yours alive that time,
You should live twice; in it and in my rhyme.

~ Sonnet XVII, Shakespeare



Lashra -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 5:58:17 AM)

Troll: Wod u lik to do me?
English: Madam would you sincerely mind if I were to stare at your tits and drool profusely whilst my fantasies run wildly through my limited brain?

I got this one the other day:
Troll: Woould u use a strapin on me?
English: Would you stick a baseball bat up my arse hole while I sing "Joy to The world"?

~Lashra



kittensmailbox -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 6:06:42 AM)

LOL LOL, this is one of the funnest things i read....  Thank You...



mnottertail -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 6:19:50 AM)

Troll:  You are so hawt.  I want you, my IM is titwiggler at yahoo dot com
English:  I want to get in your computer panties and grab your address book and hopefully you filled out your MSN wallet so I can steal that too.





Badkitty0810 -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 6:23:07 AM)

roflmao!!  This is classic!  LadyEllen, I bow to you! =)



Lorelei115 -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 6:51:06 AM)

Troll: i have a webcam. Do you?

English: I will sacrifice every last scrap of dignity I ever had for one flash of tits.



twicehappy -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 7:18:15 AM)

Troll; Lat sooooo slurp gulp goood kitty nice kitty.
 
English;
 
Dear Madame LaTigresse your exquisite feminine beauty is so awe inspiring that it rquires this otherwise most masculine of domly males to cogitate most thoroughly upon the question of kissing your perfect toes.



LadyEllen -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 7:40:15 AM)

Troll; will you castrate me?
English; I like feminisation games

Troll; how can I improve my profile?
English; please humiliate me publicly

E



nyrisa -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 7:57:15 AM)

Troll:
R u a pain slut?

English:
Can you pretend to scream with ecstacy while I swing my cheap naugahyde flogger and only hit your ass with every third swing? Also, can you please bring your own toys, because clothespins just cost too darned much these days?



Musicmystery -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 1:23:25 PM)

Troll:

Can you believe the assholes on this site? Everybody who contacts me is a jerk, so I think my profile should specify that.

English:

Issues? You have no idea. Why else would I try to attract people by leading with warnings? My only hope is that by building a severe defense that hides behind self-righteousness, I can therefore blame my complete lack of any social life on others. Playing the victim always works. Sure, I'm still alone, but I'm RIGHT, asshole! Now go away and don't bother me.

Any sane person's response:

Next.




ygraine -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 1:38:31 PM)

OMG! perfect.  Thanks MM!!!



RobertCloud -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 3:11:10 PM)

Troll: U mak me wanna cum
English: You are the most exquisite woman I have ever seen. I would find it truly delightful to spend the time seeing if there is anything in common that we could talk about.

Troll: Cun me lik ur puzzi
English: Sweet Lady, I would love to take you to the most eloquent restaurant in your area and allow you to choose the champagne. The finest of appetizers and dinners would begin our night followed by dancing at a club uptown to the music of your choice.

Troll: Sit on my face
English: After dancing we will go for a carriage ride through the park and gaze at the stars. The moon is full soon and that should make a wonderful cap to a romantic evening.

Troll: Fuk me slut
English: Then I will take you home and like the gentleman I am I will kiss the back of your hand and bid you adieu, and hope that we can meet again someday soon.



Sinergy -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 3:16:52 PM)

Troll:   On your knees and smile like a donut, whore

English:   I hope this message finds you well, submissive who is seeking a Dominant, and I wanted to mention that were we to engage in a dynamic, our power exchange would be such that you would know that you were cared for and had your needs met and were loved and respected by me.  Complementarily, you would reciprocate by providing me with the fulfillment of my needs in a truly blessed dynamic. 



HydroMaster -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 3:18:05 PM)

I love this.  I take back every bad thing I've said about you behind your back.

Troll: Want chain u to me home, you no talky

English: I'm too fat and lazy to move myself so you'll have to clean around me and bring my beer.  I'd appreciate it very much if you wouldn't tell anyone about my impotence. 



Lorelei115 -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 7:08:52 PM)

Troll: Will u force me to dress in women's clothes?

English: Can I use you for nothing other than fulfilling the fantasies I am ashamed to admit to, thus having you "force" me to do something I am not brave enough to admit that I really want?



Aileen68 -> RE: English For Trolls (2/11/2007 7:14:51 PM)

Troll:  Heeeeyyy...lookin for some poly chicks.
English:  I'm a muttonhead.



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