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VampiresLair -> RE: on the subject of a domme (12/10/2008 5:31:16 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: starlessgirl
If a potential lover is married to their own master, though has dominant needs that you might potentially fulfill for them, is a submissive strictly required to take blatant disrespect from the lover's master? I understand that the master's position is one that demands respect, but does that give the right and/or privilege to blatantly disrespect and belittle his submissive's potential partner? Is the partner required to take it because it's their lover's master?
I think the answer here should be obvious. The Master has given the submissive permission to seek her own partner, so he should step back and allow that relationship to function on its own. If he wanted to be involved he shold have made that clear in the beginning. No matter what the triad consists of, no one member should ever have fre rein to disrespect another. And if the one who was your dominant would not or could not stand up to him on your behalf, she should not be dominant. It is one thing to be submissive to one and dominant to another, but that doesnt mean that your responsabilities to your submissive end when it is your own dominant who is abusing them.
I wonder if his belittling you was a way to remind his pet that he was the one in charge, and to prove to her he could circumvent her authority, without regards to how it would make you feel. Or it might have been jealousy at the relationship you were building without him. Regardless that is hardly a paramount examply of poly.
When I have been involved in poly, or our version of, and one of the submissive partners I kept wished to be dominant elsewhere I was hands off. I didnt know the pets and I didnt care to unless they were going to be a serious addition. They were not my responsability, I did not own them and would not be involved in their training beyond a mentor.
Not everyone sees it quite that way, but no matter how you look at it blatant disrespect is not apropriate. It tends to be a way to drive someone off, without looking like the real bad guy who just told them to go away.
DV
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