*shakes the general community*

*shakes the general community* (Full Version)

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wyldsubmissive -> shakes the general community (2/12/2007 8:31:31 AM)
WHY MUST I BE 21? Don't answer, I know. It's because too many people are afraid of underage people getting into munches, play parties and the like. It's because too many times in the past have BDSM & lifestylers been treated in harsh light. But its irksome. I thought 18 meant adulthood! Obviously I'm bloody well wrong. I mean, I've got roughly a year away from 21 but I'm American damnit. By this I mean I want it RIGHT NOW. (Kidding. On some miniscule level.) I'm sure there are already multiple people who've made posts to this effect, but I shall fall once more into their ranks. Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of letting my ass into munches... erm, war!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 8:34:58 AM)
Most people want to be safer. The US is ridiculously irrational in how it limits activities based on age, and somehow by the time most people become older adults, they somehow believe there MUST be some validity to it or else why would it exist? IMO 18 doesn't mean adulthood. I personally didn't fully comfortable calling myself a real adult full grown woman until 26. I was an adult TECHNICALLY at 18. And this does carry with it some added responsibilities and rewards. But it's too risky for most to deal with, too borderline, and instead of working to help the borderlines, most just want to be safe and avoid the risk completely. Don't worry- plenty of nice people out there love borderline jailbait. You'll get through it just fine.

SimplyMichael -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 8:35:11 AM)
The real reason they don't let you in is because you like AC/DC. Some groups care, others don't, being in Ohio must really suck!

SimplyMichael -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 8:37:14 AM)
LA, Funny you should mention 26! That is the age that I think girls start to mature into women, lots of exceptions of course. They start to switch from choosing assholes to choosing men who treat them well.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 8:37:37 AM)
one fetish i attended you had to be 21+ because it was held in a club which serves alcohol and Chicago cops would love to bust a place caught serving underage minors at an event like that. it's the same with certain concerts i review - you have to be 21+ because of the venue. now if it's an "all ages" show (anyone under 21 and 18 can enter), the venue will have special wrist bands signfying who can and cannot have alcoholic drinks.

Wildfleurs -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 8:46:19 AM)
Nine years ago when I had just turned 20 I started a munch because I was tired of not being able to get into stuff or having to pretend I was over 21 (there are ways around it, even when they ask for ID). It ended up working out quite well for me, because all of the people who were part of the group(s) that I couldn't get into started coming to the munch and thats how I really began meeting people locally (before then I would just go out of state to NYC). C~

nephandi -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 9:00:06 AM)
In Norway you ahve to be of legal age 18 most places but show id unthil you are 23 to avoid minors from getting in places they should not be, problem solved.

GeekyGirl -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 9:55:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross IMO 18 doesn't mean adulthood. I personally didn't fully comfortable calling myself a real adult full grown woman until 26. I was an adult TECHNICALLY at 18. And this does carry with it some added responsibilities and rewards. But it's too risky for most to deal with, too borderline, and instead of working to help the borderlines, most just want to be safe and avoid the risk completely. Ditto. Just turned 24 this week and still feel like a kid. In the 6 years since I turned 18, I have grown up a LOT and gone through tons of changes. To the original poster, you can't even begin to imagine how much you'll change between the ages of 18 and say 25. It's amazing. I don't think it's unreasonable for munches and parties to require one to be 21. For one reason, by the time you're 21 you've been in the adult world for 3 years and ought to have a more adult mindset than the average 18yr old. Also for legality reasons, especially if alcohol is present, etc, I think it's definately a good idea. I'll also ditto Michael on women in their mid 20's finally growing out of unhealthy relationships. I've been in one after another back to back since I was 18 and it's only recently that I've started to understand WHY those guys were assholes, to believe I deserve better, and how to avoid them in the future.

calicowgirl -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 10:01:04 AM)
I wish I knew half now of what I thought I knew when I was 18-21 but can understand the frustration of not being able to be involved with something you feel strongly about. I also completely agree with LA's take on being an adult. Due to life in general, amount of responsibility etc, I was forced to be an adult very young but didn't start feeling more in control of me until my mid to late 20's and completely comfortable in my own body until I hit 30 when all the real fun began. Of course, just when all that happened, I start over and delved into a lifestyle I had only ever dreamed about. It is like being reborn, a whole new journey where I feel the learning experiences will never end... a wonderful, wonderful thing. Cali

needdiscipline23 -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 10:14:24 AM)
Sort of off topic, but I've heard that adolescence doesn't even really end until the early 20s, and it's getting kind of pushed back, particularly as more people sort of "extend" their adolescence by obtaining higher education. I'm 25, and am much more of an adult now than I was at 18, and 26 sounds just about right to me....I think it's the end of that "early adulthood" stage that is so much like adolescence....I least, I kind of hope it is! :)

wyldsubmissive -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 11:02:54 AM)
According to random nameless studies most people don't become adults until 30. I mean christ I knew someone who lived with his mother 'til 45. Now he's married and unhappy. A friend & I (friend is in her 40's) got into a discussion of when a woman feels like she can call herself a woman and no longer a little girl. The opinion of she and I varied because of where we stand in life. I feel that a person can call themselves "adult", "woman", or "man" has reached an emotional and mental height to which they are no longer drug down by everyone around them. One in which they know they can successfully survive on their own, but still admit to needing others. (We're human people.) sniffle And damnit SimplyMichael, I love me some AC/DC. Dare I even utter the name "Bon Scott"? Thanks for your uh, input. Have a great day everyone!

sub4hire -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 12:14:55 PM)
I run a munch/BDSM/play group and you don't need to be 21. You can be 18. You are an adult and you would be punished as an adult if anything were to happen so I see no reason to limit your age when the law does it for me. There are groups out there that will allow you to participate. You just need to look a little harder to find them.

CalliopePurple -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 12:39:12 PM)
Since I was 17/18, I've changed a hell of a lot - mostly finally figuring out what in the hell I am and that's it's perfectly fine to want to find people who can relate to what's going on inside my head. Not just talking about the kinky stuff either. I've only recently admitted my gender issues and felt comfortable saying I'm a mostly straight guy born in the wrong body. But as for the thread - I was annoyed at first too, because the group closer to where I was at the time was 21+. So I looked a little harder and found one that was worth the extra distance since it was 18+. And the one time I went to a play party, it was supposed to be 20+. I talked to the group's leader and asked if it was okay for me to show up since I was a few months away from hitting that point. He didn't mind. Maybe you can find a group with a benevolent head who will allow an exception to the rule?

wyldsubmissive -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 12:46:43 PM)
If I hadn't looked hard enough dearies I wouldn't post. I tend to be thorough in most things. I live in the Ohio area, and alas, quite a few munches/play parties/events/local groups are 21+. They're also more then an hour away. No, I don't limit myself in distance (hell my Mentor lives 4 hours away, but She's special.) I don't quite know about going out of state limits, and recently its also been professed to myself by said Mentor that She doesn't feel comfortable with me attending the aforementioned events without Her. Which is understandable, and means I must work around Her schedule. Not complaining, merely stating.

junecleaver -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 1:53:35 PM)
Try a TNG branch of a local group? There is a group near me that is only 21+, but has a sort of off shoot for those who are 18-35. I think it's a tad silly too. Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

MsSonnetMarwood -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 2:00:59 PM)
Well the good news is that while you may never grow wiser, you will in fact grow older.

thetammyjo -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 2:48:10 PM)
You don't have to be 21 for every group or every munch. Look around, find some TGN groups or some college/university groups, they cater to the 18+ and under 40 crowd. Find munches and events in restaurants not bars. If you can't find one, start one!

Wildfleurs -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 3:02:13 PM)
You are only about an hour and a half away from Pittsburgh, which at least when I lived there did have 18+ groups. Plus there is a Colombus chapter of NLA in Ohio - and NLA's membership age is 18 (http://www.nlacolumbus.com/). I also believe that PEER's membership age is 18 (PEER seems to be based in Cincinnati - http://www.bdsm-peergroup.com/). You may want to do a little bit more research. C~

elderrook -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 3:44:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross The US is ridiculously irrational in how it limits activities based on age, and somehow by the time most people become older adults, they somehow believe there MUST be some validity to it or else why would it exist? All too true. I was in the US military service at 18. Isn't it ironic that they think you're old enough to die for your country, but not old enough to enjoy freedom of sexual expression?

GeekyGirl -> RE: shakes the general community (2/12/2007 3:46:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: elderrook quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross The US is ridiculously irrational in how it limits activities based on age, and somehow by the time most people become older adults, they somehow believe there MUST be some validity to it or else why would it exist? All too true. I was in the US military service at 18. Isn't it ironic that they think you're old enough to die for your country, but not old enough to enjoy freedom of sexual expression? I don't know about others, but I tend to disagree that people should go into the military at 18. I think the age for that should be 21 as well. Let kids be kids before we send them off to die.

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