|
Termyn8or -> What REALLY attracts a Woman ? and why ? (2/14/2007 1:43:56 PM)
|
This is a tougher problem than face value suggests.
I have this friend, a Man of about 6'2", not really good looking, not ugly, but not good looking. He is the only person I know who could be described as fat and lanky at the same time. Not really fine teeth, doesn't shave much. Keeps himself clean but uses no fragrances except for the occasional baby powder. Nice eyes they say. Who are they ?
Some of the five Women vying for his affections. Yes, and this is not bullshit. I know it is not bullshit.
OK, some are hookers some are sluts, whatever, but he never pays. They bring and cook food, stay the night. One wants to move in but he is not sure he wants that. She is offering to pay rent and take care of him "in every way", her own words. How does he do it ?
It has to be personality, but not the way you might think. He is a formidable presence, but not because of his size (in either department) I think it is because he always goes for the gusto in life. Is that it, the excitement of knowing this guy is a nut and who knows what he'll do ? Something like that ? I am not talking in a kinky sense.
Gusto, you can almost sense it when he walks in the door, at least by the time he opens his mouth. The way he talks exudes a sense of a high energy. I've known this guy for a long time, and I can tell you, he had a paty with three kegs, TWO live bands that kicked ass. There were at least a dozen motorcycles in the front yard (they had a nice big house). Well he considers that not to be a big party.
He works for his money and takes care of business, but so do alot of people. So that isn't it. He says "Don't be nice". Upon elaboration I find that this does not mean treat them like dogs, but don't dote, don't do alot of things. They keep coming back. Why ? Why did they want him in the first place ?
After he elaborated about "Don't be nice" I asked him if they might have a submissive side. (he is kink aware, but doesn't practice it with them at this time). He said yes.
No matter what orientation, is it possible that no matter how dominant a Woman can be there is a submissive side for the right person ? Something deep down that no amount of conditioning or "empowerment" can eradicate ? My other postulations should express that but you'll never find them.
My theory is that because the means to feed the babies used to be breasts, and they were on the Woman, the Man was the one to work up his muscles out in the field. This led to a general conditioning, caused by nature that the Woman would also look to the Man for strength and protection. Basically all natural social engineering.
Is this theory crazy ? Have I been amogst crazy people so long that I now am one ? Or does this make a little bit of sense ? And look at all the, even good looking, Women who are abused in the world every day. And put up with it. What makes them do that ?
Now I've opened up a can of worms I see. Some people like pain. Could some of these victims of abuse have put up with it for too long for that reason ? I think we all agree that if that desire exists it is much better satisfied in a safe sane and consentual manner, rather than not understanding the desire and provoking disputes.
Look at the video someone posted of a cat getting paddled. The cat loved it. While that's not me, I can try to understand. Pain is invigorating on a physiological level. Cranks up your adrenalin.
So maybe all of our kinky mindsets are not all mindfucks. Maybe physiology plays tricks on us. Indeed it is what provides a sex drive for us all, the continuation of the species. Perhaps mind and body are not as seperate as some think.
T
|
|
|
|
