MidnightWriter
Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel
Tolerance... This word has been beat to death. I used to be tolerant, I have tolerated alot in the years I have been involved with online BDSM. I have watched the collar go from something that held more meaning then a wedding ring (to me it still does) to being attached with velcro.
I've seen both views of collar myself, and the new (to me) distinctions, such as "collar of consideration", and it's wierd - no matter how other people do this stuff, that collar I place means exactly what I and the sub want it to mean - no more, no less. Nor will it matter if we end up at a convention with some Olde Guarde folks who believe a collar must be earned and a Stand & Modeler who thinks that this collar looks just great with this outfit - our collar will still retain its meaning. YMMV, but I really doubt that it will.
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I have watched protocol go out the virtual window, politeness occurs so long as you are in agreement with what is being said and diplomacy has all but disappeared. To what end? Years ago no one had to ask what the difference was between a submissive and a slave because it was clear... that line was lost someplace along the way. I have noticed when doing a search on the other side that you can come up with the same profiles whether you search for slave or submissive with very few choosing one or the other orientation. That tells me that even they don't know.
That's funny - when I first showed up, I had to ask, and then watched in awe as the flamewar erupted on my screen, lasting for weeks. I still can't point toward the universal definition, though I know what definition I use. This is why I post on the neverending definition thread (if it's not active here, it's active elsewhere, but it'll be back here eventually) - if I tell people what definitions I use, then they'll have an idea of what I mean when I use the word. Generally, it'll take some additional definition when the word needs to be used in a conversation that's not about definition, but hey - words are cheap, I buy 'em by the case.
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I have to agree with RiotGirl... this is NOT Burger King and NO, you can not have it your way.
<big, evil, self-satisfied grin> I guess you've never been in my collar, or you'd know - this is my damn life, and yes, I CAN have it my way. Those in my collar can have whatever we've negotiated for my way, as well. Others can have it my way if they track down all of my posts and do a lot of copying, but that's a helluva lot of work - it's probably much easier for them to have it their own damn way. Besides, I may whine about copycats if they wanna do it my way.
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Sound kind of intolerant? Maybe so, and maybe I'm not winning any popularity contests here either... but it's how I feel. IMNSHO I believe that to tolerate the destruction of what so many of us have loved and labored toward for decades is just plain wrong. I once (and I mean, one time) attended a Catholic church, that DOES NOT make me Catholic and I would not insult a member of that religious belief and pretend to be either a member or an expert. Nor would I have the audacity to try to rewrite the standards by which they live.
You can't rewrite their standards - they already know their own standards. If you walk up the church aisle without genuflecting, it's not gonna be a venial sin on their soul.
Within the Catholic church, there was a schism during my childhood - it was called Vatican II. The old-timers were often horrified - I mean, dear Ghu, what business does a GUITAR have in my church? The poor priests had to schedule masses differently - some were in Latin, some had guitar-strumming folksingers instead of an organ.
They mostly all got by, somehow.
If some overweight, pasty security guard wants to fire up her modem, go to her online personna as BitchQueenGoddessJanie, and spend the next several hours virtually dominating her HotBiBabeSlut, the 19-yo nymphette who is, in reality, a middleaged, balding accountant named Dwight, fantasizing about the 500-stroke caning, the kneeling on red-hot two-penny nails as a gesture of respect, and the doublefisting scene where both arms go in up to the shoulders - what's it to you? Does it change your reality if they capitalize A/all of the wrong words, pretend they can throw a 20-pound barbed-wire flogger for hours, or disagree with you on the nuances of Troo Subbieness?
I don't see how. You'll still have permission to C/capitalize to suit yourself, negotiate for what you want in your own relationships, and do whatever parts of BDSM you wanna do, in any way that works for you.
The more clueless may insist that you do things THEIR way - but the answer to that one is easy. Ignore 'em - they'll survive, and your blood pressure will thank you.
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OK, so you are kinky, nothing wrong with that. So you wanna check out BDSM, that's great too... but in the mean time don't claim to be THE expert, don't decide to rewrite the book a lot of us learned from, adapt to it instead.
Um... which book? I've been around a while, and I've never seen it. I recently learned that Jon Jacobs died last year - and sincerely hope that the supercillious, manipulative SOB is getting his just rewards.
Yes, there IS One True Way. My One True Way may not look much like your One True Way, and it sure as hell doesn't look like the One True Way I was using 10 years ago - but it's there. The problem is that it's mine, all mine - you'll have to find your own. As will every sick, twisted, disgusting pervert out there.
It's messy, chaotic, and annoying. Life tends to be that way. You wouldn't BELIEVE what silly shit they're teaching in schools these days, and it's even worse on the World Wide Wait, where there are dozens of different schools. There's no help for it - you may as well get used to it.
_____________________________
Power corrupts. Absolute power ... is really pretty nifty.
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