RE: Let it be...Let it be

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RE: Let it be...Let it be - 3/14/2005 12:17:01 PM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
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Thanks for the welcome dark~angel :)

SweetDommes ~ for what it's worth, I've read the same things and I agree with you ~ personally I think it would be better all round if he did leave that relationship. Thanks for your input.

~ Elektra

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RE: Let it be...Let it be - 3/14/2005 1:16:36 PM

sputniklove

Posts: 39
Joined: 2/22/2005
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Rose, I will agree with two points made by many posters here, one of which is that noone but you understands the dynamic of the situation that you find yourself in, that we may infer is the positive side,and bearing that for you to leave I think would constitute failure or a mistake on your part. The second point raised repeatedly by others here is that having found themselves in a similiar situation they can feel the pain being caused to the other, indeed noone has ever enjoyed being the ONE whom is cheated on. If you choose to continue this involvement it will solict strong feelings and comments not only here in this forum but also in the people in the middle of all this. If you want a different perspective from someone on this than the anger you are feeling here, perhaps you should approach this mans wife,since it seems he has not. I realize that I leave myself open to an attack here,but I have been on both sides of this,the cheater,and the cheated,and it was in my opinion that neither side was fulfilling except for some brief moments,but the pain I caused was more enduring than any pleasure.
again this is only my opnion and you will have to make what you feel is the best choice for you with regard to staying here in this community which,as a new comer here I am learning is a wealth of information from very intelligent adults,and the actions of a few should not reflect that of the community as a whole......Sputniklove

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RE: Let it be...Let it be - 3/14/2005 2:21:19 PM

sputniklove

Posts: 39
Joined: 2/22/2005
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Hi I want to clairfy that my reply was directed to fragile rose not anyone else

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RE: Let it be...Let it be - 3/15/2005 9:08:25 AM

FragileRose

Posts: 58
Joined: 3/6/2005
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Hi, what you are reading here on this thread is out of context. I posted a thread called "Married Man: Bad Idea" and started a very interesting discussion. I was seeking honest perspectives, not approval. I protested on being called a bitch, even by implication, by one of the posters. That person and her partner had also been supportive in general and had written me some compassionate and lovely personal emails. The entire discussion got off track with other people rushing in to flame and add sarcastic comments. I am pleased to say that the involved parties and I have made our peace. I expected controversy, but my inexperience with this online community did not prepare me for invective, insult, and rudeness. I was urged by others to either ignore, rise above, or give back in kind. FragileRose is a professional writer with plenty of ability to dish it out if necessary. She has thousands of words at her command and knows exactly how to use them.

In any case, if you want to know more, you can find it in Mercnbeth's post in the off topic section on being banned. We don't resolve the issue, but I think we have communicated about our feelings in a satisfactory way.

As for the relationship, well, I will deal with it on my own timetable. I have heard from many sincere people, and I am in a time of reflection.

FragileRose

< Message edited by FragileRose -- 3/15/2005 9:13:14 AM >

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RE: Let it be...Let it be - 3/15/2005 9:32:40 AM

Atavist

Posts: 124
Joined: 6/14/2004
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Welcome ElectraUkM.

I can understand your situation and I suspect there are many many people in circumstances similar to yours. You asked "what do we do?" so I'll give you a suggestion (not a judgment). First, look down the road, say 5 or even 10 years. Where do you want to be? The decisions you make now, today may determine where you'll be in the future.

Whether you hope to have a real, meaningful relationship with this person or not, it should be obvious to you that one thing has to be done: deal with your marriage. Fix it or get out. Putting the moral questions aside, if you don't face your marital issues and continue down your current path, you'll end up in a perpetual limbo, a fantasy, an escape. You seem like a thoughtful person and I appreciate your honesty. Consider whats best for you, your spouse and your children in the long run. It can be painful (been there) but do you really have any choice?

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RE: Let it be...Let it be - 3/15/2005 9:54:26 AM

ElektraUkM

Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
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Hello Atavist and thanks for your thoughts.

Well I agree with you too. Only thing is, it's not me in the marriage it's Him. I'm free (haha) and single. I've always found the strength to get out of poor relationships, but then I've never gone far enough to have children ~ I just don't know how I'd deal with things if I'd found myself in his situation.

For my part, this situation isn't going to be ongoing for years. It's a position I've found myself in and I don't want to be in, and I don't want him to be in. I'm just not prepared to walk away just yet.

~ Elektra

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RE: Let it be...Let it be - 3/15/2005 2:57:49 PM

Atavist

Posts: 124
Joined: 6/14/2004
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ElektraUkM- I'm sorry, I mis-read your post. That said, what I wrote still applies. Your partner should seriously consider facing the difficult reality before him instead of escaping them. I think you should too. I'd still ask you - where do you want your life to be in 5 years? I doubt you believe the best you can have is an online romance with a married man.

Sounds like you've already come to this conclusion. Good luck.

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Post #: 27