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Contract - 2/15/2007 8:16:07 AM   
scorpioaries


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
HI Everyone:

I am about to take an important next step in my D/s relationship and that is of accepting a collar of submission.  We have been involved for 15 months now and I feel very comfortable with the progression of this relationship.  The question I have is concerning a contract that my Sir has created.  I am curious as to how many of you have entered into a collaring with a contract and what did yours contain.?

All words of wisdom are welcome and looked forward to.

Thank you

Sirs Sub

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 8:22:26 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scorpioaries

HI Everyone:

I am about to take an important next step in my D/s relationship and that is of accepting a collar of submission.  We have been involved for 15 months now and I feel very comfortable with the progression of this relationship.  The question I have is concerning a contract that my Sir has created.  I am curious as to how many of you have entered into a collaring with a contract and what did yours contain.?

All words of wisdom are welcome and looked forward to.

Thank you

Sirs Sub


My chief concern would be with your phrase "a contract that my Sir has created."

IMO, the overreaching value of a contract is the negotiations that lead up to it because that allows the couple to consider circumstances and conditions which aren't in their immediate relationship.

For a dominant to craft a contract of adhesion eliminates this and has the strong possibility of reducing the document to a masturbatory fantasy instead of a valuable tool.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to scorpioaries)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 8:24:43 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

http://www.collarchat.com/m_545721/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#546253
Contracts- who uses them?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_537964/mpage_1/key_contract/tm.htm#537987
contracts (5)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_507069/mpage_1/key_CONTRACTS/tm.htm#507258
contracts

http://www.collarchat.com/m_484623/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#485005
contracts, necessary or not?

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=425700&mpage=1&key=contracts&#425768
bdsm contracts

http://www.collarchat.com/m_15441/mpage_1/key_contract/tm.htm#15441
Master/slave contract

http://www.collarchat.com/m_21514/mpage_1/key_contract/tm.htm#21514
CONTRACT

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1001/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#1001
Contracts for servitude the good, the bad, And why is it so different between Masters n Mistresses?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1108/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#1108
Contracts?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_17858/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#17858
Should slaves be able to submit to legally binding slave contracts?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_20389/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#20389
Enforcable "slave" contracts

http://www.collarchat.com/m_22380/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#22380
Contracts (AGAIN *LOL*)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_24502/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#24502
Breaking COntracts

http://www.collarchat.com/m_34466/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#34466
Contracts for sub

http://www.collarchat.com/m_46146/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#46146
Contracts (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_82470/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#82470
Service "contracts" (no it isn't about legality)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_93072/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#93072
slave contracts

http://www.collarchat.com/m_96407/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#96407
Contracts, again...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_111463/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#111463
written contracts?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_111845/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#111845
The question of written contracts

http://www.collarchat.com/m_162840/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#162840
merging wedding vows and Ds contracts

http://www.collarchat.com/m_212413/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#212413
Contracts (3)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_278323/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#278323
Dom/sub written contracts

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287421/mpage_1/key_contracts/tm.htm#287421
slave contracts, good examples needed

http://www.collarchat.com/m_71935/mpage_1/key_contract/tm.htm#71935
D/s contract




_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to scorpioaries)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 8:44:11 AM   
viperess


Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline
Greetings,
Yes i have entered relations with contracts...ones such as if short term then for how long, ones the pretty much spelt out what was and what was not acceptable..one what grounds i would be released...things such as this. With Master though the only "contract" was a verbal one stating "your mine and your not going anywhere" and i must say i like it much better. my advice though is before signing a contract, read, read, and reread. If there is anything there that strikes you as being odd or you do not agree with then discuss it and ask for changes before you touch it with a pen or your blood. Just how i see it but i am sure many others with have a different view on the subject.
viperess slave of CTDOM4sub

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 9:36:30 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
my collaring with Daddy didn't come with a paper contract or formal agreement of some kind. ours is more like a marriage since our Daddy-daughter relationship is a lifetime committment til death does one of us part.

all i can advise as a paralegal is read the contract carefully and discuss any questions/concerns you might have before signing. most are legal and binding once your signature is afixed to the paper.  not sure if BDSM contracts are actually legal however make really sure you know what you are getting into beforehand.


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to viperess)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 9:37:40 AM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
fast reply, this is the contract we used. found it online somewhere i think.. think it is also slightly modified

I,____________ , with a free mind and an open heart; do request of ______________
that he accept the submission of my will unto his and to take me into
his care and guidance, that we may grow together in love, trust and mutual respect. The
satisfaction of his wants, desires, and whims are consistent with my desire as a submissive to be found pleasing to him. To that end, I offer him use of my time, talents, and abilities.

Further, I ask, in sincere humility, that, as my [insert possessive term here], he accept the keeping of my body for the fulfillment and enhancement of our sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs. To achieve this, he may have unfettered use of my body any time, any place, in front of anyone, as he will determine.

I ask that he guide me in any sexual, sensual, or scene-related behavior, both together with, and separate from him, in such a way as to further my growth as a person.
I request of _______________________, as my [insert possessive term here], that he use the power vested in his role; to mold and shape me; assisting me to grow in strength, character, confidence, and being, and that he continue to help me to develop my artistic and intellectual abilities
.
In return, I agree:

To obey his commands to the best of my ability.

To strive to overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve him and limit my growth as his submissive.

To maintain honest and open communication.

To reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation or embarrassment.
To inform him of wants and perceived needs, recognizing that he is the sole judge of whether or how these shall be satisfied.

To strive toward maintenance of a positive self-image and development of realistic expectations and goals.

To work with him to become a happy and self-fulfilled individual.
To work against negative aspects of my ego and my insecurities that would interfere with advancement of these aims.

My surrender as a submissive is done with the knowledge that nothing asked of me will demean me as a person, and will in no way diminish my own responsibilities toward making utmost use of my potential.




This I, _______________________, do entreat, with lucidity and the realization of what this means, both stated and implied, in the conviction that this offer will be understood in the spirit of faith, caring, esteem and devotion in which it is given. Should either of us find that our aspirations are not being well served by this agreement, find this commitment too burdensome, or for any other reason wish to cancel, either may do so by verbal notification to the other, in keeping with the consensual nature of this agreement. We both understand that cancellation means a cessation of the control stated and implied within this agreement, not a termination of our relationship as friends and lovers. Upon cancellation, each of us agrees to offer to the other his or her reasons and to assess our new needs and situation openly and lovingly. This agreement shall serve as the basis for an extension of our relationship, committed to in the spirit of loving and consensual dominance and submission with the intention of furthering self-awareness and exploration, promoting health and happiness, and improving both our lives.

I offer my consent to submission to ______________________________ under the terms stated
above on this the ________ day of _____________ in the year ________.

____________________________
Signature of Submissive

I offer my acceptance of submission by ______________________________ under the terms
stated above on this the ________ day of ______________ in the year ________.

____________________________
Signature of Dominant



_____________________________


"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


(in reply to viperess)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 10:23:50 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I am curious as to how many of you have entered into a collaring with a contract and what did yours contain.?


scorpio,
Yes we have a contact.

John Warren's point is key. Our final version was the the result of long discussions and some negotiation. We used some wording and examples of other "contracts" we found on the internet and added some of our own. We made it as detailed as possible but broad enough to account for growth and evolution over time. It has been in place, and we have lived by the terms, for almost 4 years.

It is legally meaningless and frankly it's meaningless to anyone but us. Its purpose was to document the duties and responsibilities within the relationship we were contemplating. Before we entered into our relationship, and I became Master to beth and she a slave to me, we wanted it clear to ourselves and to each other what we were committing to. We both signed it and further consummated the commitment by each of us getting a tattoo so that we would have a visual daily reminder. The signed version is framed and has a prominent place in our bedroom. 

If you want a copy contact us on the profile side.

(in reply to scorpioaries)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 10:43:20 AM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

I am curious as to how many of you have entered into a collaring with a contract and what did yours contain.?


scorpio,
Yes we have a contact.

John Warren's point is key.

point? what point? oh i must have blocked him long ago heh.

_____________________________


"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 11:29:40 AM   
scorpioaries


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
HI JohnWarren:

Thank you for your comments and this contract is much the same as my "Training collar" contract which we did discuss for weeks and tweaked it to fit the situation

I have had input in this contract during the period of time when I  was not collared (previous contract date ran out and am not collared at this time) up until now. Many weeks have gone by during which  discussions of content, expectations, etc. have taken place. 

I appreciate your thoughts and would never enter into anything that I hadn't had input into or would continue to have as the process progresses.

Sirs Sub

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 1:33:38 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline
Master and i have a contract as as was said it has no meaning to anyone but us.  Master and i read it over and we changed a few things that i did not agree to.  Even though i know we w be together for the rest of our lives it felt good to have the contract.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to scorpioaries)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 2:07:01 PM   
Arastella


Posts: 262
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scorpioaries

HI Everyone:

I am about to take an important next step in my D/s relationship and that is of accepting a collar of submission.  We have been involved for 15 months now and I feel very comfortable with the progression of this relationship.  The question I have is concerning a contract that my Sir has created.  I am curious as to how many of you have entered into a collaring with a contract and what did yours contain.?

All words of wisdom are welcome and looked forward to.

Thank you

Sirs Sub


I did enter with a contract.  Any contract should contain both the Dom and sub's duties, limits, and have an understanding of whats expected and what each person wants/needs.  Just that.  Sometimes, it's smart to have a training contract first, set to a specific date.  That way you both have time to figure out what you want.  Then when that contract is done, write a new one for life.

(in reply to scorpioaries)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Contract - 2/15/2007 6:32:02 PM   
andreaC


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: scorpioaries

HI Everyone:

I am about to take an important next step in my D/s relationship and that is of accepting a collar of submission.  We have been involved for 15 months now and I feel very comfortable with the progression of this relationship.  The question I have is concerning a contract that my Sir has created.  I am curious as to how many of you have entered into a collaring with a contract and what did yours contain.?

All words of wisdom are welcome and looked forward to.

Thank you

Sirs Sub




When i got my first contract with my Master (the official one is to come this summer when i will have my permanent collaring in his country ) we wrote the contract together by his own rules, not by any books, but from who we are. We are a couple and i think a contract should be done together. This isnt because i didnt trust him, far from that, but the relationship involves two people.

That is my opinion.

_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
Jeg elsker deg Herre

(in reply to scorpioaries)
Profile   Post #: 12
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