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Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 10:15:11 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		Good morning/afternoon to everyone,
     I'm a little confused by what my dom told me yesterday while we were playing. He told me that this wasn't the lifestyle for me, I don't agree with that, but than he told me that we have more of a daddy/little girl relationship. So was he telling me that no this isn't for me, yet you are my little girl and that you will be a good submissive girl? I'm confused on the message he's giving me. Any insight on what this could mean to you other Masters, Doms.
  Thank you
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 10:18:24 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		im a lil girl, means i need guidence and care, that what daddys are for :)

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 10:21:34 AM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		So he's telling me than that yes i would be a good submissive and that this is for me? i've had prior training, but nothing like this

(in reply to domahpet)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 10:22:10 AM   
barefootgal


Posts: 44
Joined: 1/7/2007
From: Milwaukee, WI
Status: offline 		Seems like something you should ask him, rather than us.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 10:29:42 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		There is a generalized difference between "little girl" and "submissive" just as there is between "wife" and "submissive"- although obviously one person can be both quite easily.

You're really just going to have to talk to him and figure what he means, where he wants the relationship to go and whether it will work for you.

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(in reply to barefootgal)
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RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 10:34:28 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		If the conversation went like that there's nothing but confusion in his statements.
Maybe he's wanting to keep you out of communicating with others and all to himself as what he meant about the lifestyle's not for you even though you're his good girl and he agrees you're a sumbissive.
I agree with everyone else about asking him.
I'd have said How do you feel I'm a good girl and submissive, but the lifestyle's not for me.
He needs to explain what he meant for sure as the rest of us seem to be as confused as you.
suzanne

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 12:51:44 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I cannot make any guess based on what OP describes. You can be a baby girl and be totally submissive and you can just be a baby girl. At best I can offer was the original relationship meant to be D/s and nothing more and it evolved into a significant age play dynamic?

You have to ask for details and go over with it with him to see what he meant and if you are on the same page. Could be a totally innocent comment or him making, at least in his mind, some type of statement that the relationship is not what he thought it was going to be.

Without any context the actual thing written does sound confusing but I do not see anything in it that is bad or questioning in it.


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(in reply to onestandingstill)
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RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 1:36:10 PM   
moonspirit43


Posts: 25
Joined: 1/21/2005
Status: offline 		You'd have to ask him what he meant.  Just like you can't read his mind, we have no idea what is going on in it either.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 2:15:38 PM   
Arastella


Posts: 262
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		I agree with everyone else.  Talk to HIM.  He'd know better than anyone else what he meant by it.

(in reply to moonspirit43)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 2:17:30 PM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		kinda sounds like he likes you for less than what you may think you have to offer ,, he may have the daddy / lil girl feelings  due to the lack of exp tht you may have and is wanting more ,, if he told you that the lifestyle wasn't for you and you think it is , you might want to entertain the idea of either talking with him on a "grown up girl" level ,, or think about moving on

(in reply to moonspirit43)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 2:41:09 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		YOU need to make that decision not your Dom.
how do YOU feel.. it maybe that the 2 of you are looking for different things

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(in reply to MasterMataeo)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 4:48:53 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline 		When i was searching for a dom, i had put in my profile that i was looking for a Daddy Dom.  A dom, whose profile indicated an interest in Gor, contacted me and said that although he felt he was more of a Master type, he was interested in 'trying out' the Daddy Dom thing.  Needless to say, that didn't go very far.  At one point, he said 'You really are a daddys girl, aren't you'?  (Duh!)
 
With the limited information provided, i am only guessing that by your profile, your partner might have been expecting more of a slave type sub, but he sees more of the lil girl qualities?  This is only a guess.  Now i would have no idea if he is interested in that dynamic but that might be the reference he made of this not being the lifestyle for you....meaning a Master/slave one as opposed to a Daddy/girl one.  Again, just a guess.
 
Daddysgirl

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 4:53:19 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		He may be saying that he want's you this way and not that way. Do not make that changes unless you are sure it will be a happy change.

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(in reply to adaddysgirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 7:45:43 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think it's for anyone to say whether the lifestyle is for you, except you.

Sounds to me that he is disappointed in the dynamic between you, he wants something different, and he picked a bad way of articulating it.

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"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/15/2007 7:46:26 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

Seems like something you should ask him, rather than us.

What she said

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(in reply to barefootgal)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/16/2007 5:54:42 AM   
Dreamz423


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline 		The key to any good relationship dynamic is of course, communication; particularily when there is a bdsm dynamic involved. While he may have made those statements with a motive as simple as testing your reaction, if you are truely concerned about it, talk about it with him.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/16/2007 9:01:57 AM   
chainedfarida


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline 		talking and asking the questions, (smiles communication) i agree is the most important part of any relationship.

sincerely far

(in reply to Dreamz423)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/17/2007 11:34:59 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Although I agree with the others that you need to talk to your Dom about this, I do have some other observations.

I don't like that he is telling you this isn't the lifestyle for you, then telling you what IS the lifestyle for you. It is not his place to make such decisions. What the lifestyle means to you is up to you, not him.

It sounds to me like he is trying to alter your relationship midstream by telling you he knows better than you do what you want/need. It is coercive. I would step back and have a very serious talk with him about what each of your expectations are. If they don't match, you need to move on. Don't let him drag you where you don't want to go.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

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You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/17/2007 4:48:32 PM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		it isn't for him to decide if this lifestyle is for you, but for you to decide for yourself what it is you want for yourself. I don't believe there are hardset rules about what the lifestyle is. It means different things to different people. Some people have a Master/slave dynamic. Some have a Dominant/submissive dynamic. Some are lovers that top and bottom. Some are Daddies and babygirls. IT really is what you want it to be. I think you both need to sit down and have a talk about expectations.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Confused by my Dom - 2/17/2007 5:11:17 PM   
pickingrinnin


Posts: 19
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		Ask him.  Don't hedge around it - be direct, so there is no confusion.

- Jesse

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 20
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