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climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/13/2005 7:43:02 PM   
pet2SirFredrick


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline 		this slave has a real hard time controling climax, she tries really hard but she doesnt quite make it some times and she was wondering what other slaves/subs do to help control them.. she tries so hard to please her Master and this is an area she needs help in.. any input would be greatly appreciated...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/13/2005 10:55:17 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		Master has just started doing this with me, the other night He made me play with myself and tell Him when I was getting close, then made me take my hands away and not touch myself until He said I could - He did this 3 times in total and then took over the play Himself and told me I could cum

He has told me that with one of His previous subs He kept her on the edge for at least an hour, she was yelling and swearing by the time He finally let her cum!

I expect that I will be making a few mistakes and so does He - it is a part of learning and realising what the sensations mean and how close I can get before I reach the point of no return. I admit I did not tell Him exactly how close I was, I erred on the side of caution. It will be hard to judge correctly, especially the first few times! Due to a bad marriage and sexual ignorance for most of my life I have only in the last 3 years learned to enjoy with a partner and to climax with one, now I have to control those things I have only just learned!

(in reply to pet2SirFredrick)
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RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 5:25:26 AM   
subbiejenn


Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		Hi Pet2Sir

i am not the best at control *grins* but when i am not to cum and get close i count -- this sounds dumb but works for me, think it takes my mind off it for a minute but in my mind just count to like 10... just like everything else in BDSM for me its mental. If i have a lot on my mind sometimes i can't get into subspace because my mind is still cluttered, same thing when your about to cum -- put something else in your mind for a minute.

stop touching works also if that is allowed but sometimes the rubbing or whatever is being done continues and you are still to hold it -- so the counting helps.

works for me :)
good luck with it!
~jenn~

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to pet2SirFredrick)
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RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 6:07:28 AM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		I'm with Jenn. It's one thing when you tell someone you are about to climax and whatever is going on stops, but another matter entirely when you are about to climax and it doesn't stop but you have to make it so. I count to ten also, although sometimes it is ten several times over. You have to take your mind from the activities for a moment until you get control of yourself.

(in reply to subbiejenn)
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RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 7:46:23 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Learn your body, orgasm a lot, by yourself and with others, see what works and what doesn't, see what your triggers are, feel the approach, take your time.

Me? I'm very difficult to orgasm and if someone manages to get me there, I either have to push it through or push it down. And if it gets pushed down, it's gone for a very long time. It's just how my body works.

See how yours works.

(in reply to velvetvixen)
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RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 10:08:35 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I think about yellow tractors. You know...construction equipment. Earthmovers, bulldozers, steam rollers. I find there is nothing even remotely sexy about them so I think about them, I mean really think about them. I know that sounds odd but it works for me. I got the idea from watching a talk show once a long time ago....I think it was Peter Coyote who said that it was the technique he used to "last longer".

Don't think about hot, sweaty, buff construction workers in them though!

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 3/14/2005 10:09:57 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to pet2SirFredrick)
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RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 10:09:16 AM   
lacyann


Posts: 45
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pet2SirFredrick

this slave has a real hard time controling climax, she tries really hard but she doesnt quite make it some times and she was wondering what other slaves/subs do to help control them.. she tries so hard to please her Master and this is an area she needs help in.. any input would be greatly appreciated...


This girl too, it is either cum or don' t cum, after all she went about 8 years with no sex.
Just don't get her started cause then we may need a bucket for the juices to run into, at least a towel.
lacyann

(in reply to pet2SirFredrick)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 10:17:06 AM   
pet2SirFredrick


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline 		thank you to all that replied... the tips are great.. this girl will have to remember to use them... and remember not to get too close before i tell Master or pound on the matress when cuffed face down... thank you so much....

(in reply to lacyann)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 10:31:45 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Also try and remember that this is a learning process and that our bodies are not easily controllable to such a fine degree. I KNOW we're perfectionists but this is a PROCESS. you don't suck as a sub just because you had an orgasm when you didn't get the "yes." This is about your dom TRAINING you to respond certain ways. This takes time and a heck of a lot of practice.

(in reply to pet2SirFredrick)
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RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 11:50:38 AM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

you don't suck as a sub just because you had an orgasm when you didn't get the "yes."


In fact if you climax without the yes, perhaps you will get to practice again right away.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 12:35:06 PM   
MasterzKitten


Posts: 51
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline 		Master and i love doing that. He'll tell me not to for a long time, till i'm begging and going crazy, then He'll finally tell me to, and i just go wild. i know its difficult at first, but as the others have said, think about something very non-sexy, slow things down (if possible), count, or just bite your lip and try to hold it back. Its all about knowing your body and how/when it reacts to things.

Best of luck and have fun!

_____________________________

.*.Brightest of Blessings to Y/you and Y/yours.*.

~kitten~

(in reply to velvetvixen)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 2:19:14 PM   
sting516


Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline 		for some, it's yellow tractors, for me, to delay climax....at the risk of losing the erection...i think about baseball...i love the game, but it's not a sexual high for me...or i think of very old nuns...either way, that moment passes...

Another method i'd had success with was something i learned when studying tantric sex...it's called 'The Big Draw'...generally, one visualizes the orgasm moving up their spine and they exhale...there may come a point where you can't delay any further...but that is another method that worked for me.

sting

(in reply to MasterzKitten)
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RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 2:29:14 PM   
strictblkdomnj


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/6/2005
Status: offline 		It's a process. It's all about being able to hold out for a bit longer than last time. This behavior is rewarded. A little progress at a time, some patience, consistency and you both will be ecstatic at the results.

(in reply to sting516)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 4:28:05 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline 		This morning I had another lesson, this time with Him doing the playing. Again, about 3 times in total, with me saying "Now" whenever I felt like I was getting close. I did let myself get closer than last time, to see if I could control it and was surprised to find that I could, though Master did stop what He was doing whenever I said "Now". However He then told me to ask for permission to cum - this was a whole new kettle of fish because He did keep up the stimulation then, albeit slowing it down a little. By the time He finally allowed me to cum the juices literally poured out of me and my whole body seemed to be spasming.

I am a squirter/gusher and we put at least two towels on the bed now, otherwise I would be sleeping in a lake!

(in reply to lacyann)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/14/2005 10:14:19 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

In fact if you climax without the yes, perhaps you will get to practice again right away.


Or at least a good spanking.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to velvetvixen)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/15/2005 4:51:19 PM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		proudsub--

It would seem there is no downside to this dilemma.

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/16/2005 2:51:28 PM   
srahfox


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		It takes a while. I had a problem with waiting too long and then I just couldn't stop at first. Then I over corrected and would ask to cum too soon and then I couldn't get there. Believe it or not if he told me to stop cuming now while I was in the middle of it I can. It's harder than hell but I can. Now I think I about have the timeing down and when he tells me to cum (After I've asked for permittion) I do. Just don't stress out about it, like half of the stuff we do, it just takes time. When I have to wait I just picture my clit 'stopping' and picture all the feelings just being on hold. It takes a little practice but it works most of the time now.

(in reply to velvetvixen)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/16/2005 9:54:40 PM   
gretchen


Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		The few times I´ve had to control climax, I did it this way:

If he doesn´t want me to come, and I don´t want to be punished or get him upset for cuming when I wasn´t told to, I just let my mind turn me off a little bit.

It´s all about controlling your own mind, thoughts or whatever, not your body. The mind is creative enough to not let your body go the whole way.

And what it´said here is true: "it takes time", there´s no need to rush...Unless you´re told to rush).


gretchen

(in reply to srahfox)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/18/2005 9:36:29 AM   
terah


Posts: 69
Joined: 12/17/2004
Status: offline 		Wish i could help, but I have no control either. Post when you figure it out.lol

(in reply to pet2SirFredrick)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: climax control!!! HELP!!!! - 3/24/2005 2:54:23 PM   
wetsub000


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/6/2005
Status: offline 		My Dom friend introduced me to this type of play and I haven't looked back. I can now control climaxing in both directions really well (that is cumming or not). Our technique is probably a little different to what is described here. I am very aural and my Dom keeps up quite a line in chatter while we're playing so while he is stimulating me to extremes he is also telling me 'Don't you cum ... don't you cum ... don't you cum' in a low steady voice, so I concentrate totally on his words and it helps block out my response to the sensations I'm feeling. The moment he changes tone to something a bit more excited and says 'Cum now' I just explode.

(in reply to terah)
Profile   Post #: 20
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