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Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 3:59:36 AM

Isaidnow

Posts: 13
Joined: 2/6/2007
Status: offline

New on here and advice on etiquette and content of mails please.

1. I am inundated with mail from potential subs/slaves (I pressume this to be as I am new here, not for any other reason), therefore what is the standard etiquette for replying. I am not that big on myself that I can't be polite and courtious to everyone be it Dom or sub, and beleive that manners cost nothing. But is a standard thankyou but you are not what I am looking for acceptable.

2. No requests for money but offers of money, I have never come accross this before. Why am I being offered money or payment and what is payment?

I am looking towards taking a more permanent sub/slave rather than just in a play environment that I am used to. So any help and advice is greatly received. Even Dom/mes have to start somewhere

Post #: 1

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 4:08:37 AM

slavekara

Posts: 76
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

`Greetings All,

This girl would like to give her thoughts but please dont be offended by this girls thoughts.

Be yourself, and then only can you find how you feel comfortable with posts or emails.
Everyone is different and some submissives (most males as this girl has come across) like to offer money. This girl isnt entirely sure why, but to some, its a fetish.

slave kara (A)

Edited* This girl welcomes you to the forums and she wished ylou luck on your journey.

< Message edited by slavekara -- 2/16/2007 4:12:50 AM >

(in reply to Isaidnow)

Post #: 2

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 4:14:57 AM

VeryMercurial

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

It could be your screen name, think about it.
One thing they might want, is someone who indeed swallows.

(in reply to Isaidnow)

Post #: 3

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 4:17:37 AM

slavekara

Posts: 76
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

It could be your screen name, think about it.
One thing they might want, is someone who indeed swallows.

Greetings MC,

This girl is wondering where swallowing came from and this girl can find no relevents from the name to being offered money.

slave kara (A)

(in reply to VeryMercurial)

Post #: 4

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 4:24:30 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Isaidnow

New on here and advice on etiquette and content of mails please.

1. I am inundated with mail from potential subs/slaves (I pressume this to be as I am new here, not for any other reason), therefore what is the standard etiquette for replying. I am not that big on myself that I can't be polite and courtious to everyone be it Dom or sub, and beleive that manners cost nothing. But is a standard thankyou but you are not what I am looking for acceptable.

Reply only to those that you want to reply to. There is no obligation to answer every mail unless you want to. There are options for auto-replying, and yes a standard thankyou is more than adequate.

2. No requests for money but offers of money, I have never come accross this before. Why am I being offered money or payment and what is payment?

Offers of money, tithing. A tradition of giving gifts *often monetary gifts* from a male sub to a female dom.

I am looking towards taking a more permanent sub/slave rather than just in a play environment that I am used to. So any help and advice is greatly received. Even Dom/mes have to start somewhere

Welcome to CollarMe! The Ask A Mistress forum is a wonderful place where you can get advice and help from both experienced and new female doms.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to Isaidnow)

Post #: 5

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 4:25:54 AM

VeryMercurial

Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekara

quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

It could be your screen name, think about it.
One thing they might want, is someone who indeed swallows.

Greetings MC,

This girl is wondering where swallowing came from and this girl can find no relevents from the name to being offered money.

slave kara (A)

No problem slave kara, her screen name is MistressSwallows

(in reply to slavekara)

Post #: 6

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 4:37:26 AM

slavekara

Posts: 76
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

Greetings VM

This girl begs forgiveness as she did a typing error and typed MC instead of VM.

This girl didnt read the OP's profile but thank you for pointing it out.
You hold a very interesting point with your post.

Thank you for explaining what you had meant.

slave kara (A)

(in reply to VeryMercurial)

Post #: 7

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 4:52:57 AM

Isaidnow

Posts: 13
Joined: 2/6/2007
Status: offline

Thankyou slavekara for your reply, you do not offend, your comments are offering advice that I welcome. I do not have an issue taking helpful advice and if necessary critism from anyone. In my mind that makes me a more rounded person and helps me on my journey.

cjenny, thankyou as well, I understand know :)

VM, I understand what you are saying, that was only a recent addition to my profile, I couldnt have Mistress_Swallow as my user name. Maybe I need to make it clearer and post a picture of my tattoo, which is where I got my name from. I am known by many as Swallow, from the tattoo not for any sexual act. Thankyou for pointing it out

(in reply to slavekara)

Post #: 8

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 5:03:48 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

A couple things....

We go round for round on the boards debating whether or not we should be obligated to answer all the emails we get.   Women in particular get a lot, especially if we have a new profile, a picture, or a non-specific profile. Have you gotten the one from the guy who wants to fly you to Egypt and show you the pyramids yet? How about the guy who goes on and on and ON ad nauseum about how he can be your legal slave in every way?

The reality is that most of the email you get will have nothing to do with what you are looking for. I personally don't feel obligated to answer each and every email I get.   Most of them are so off the wall with their requests, really, there's no reason for me to respond to them.   You have to decide for yourself what you are going to bother answering.

Regarding the offers of tribute - another topic we go round for round on here are Dommes who demand tribute - and yet, here you are getting offers of tribute, which is actually not uncommon.   I would suggest that you not hold your breath actually getting anything - it's merely a way to try to get your attention to hopefully feed their fantasies for a little while.   If they were really looking for a prodomme...they wouldn't be out there trying to convert someone who isn't one.

A few comments about your profile. You are going to get inundated with emails because of the content. Your offer to "punish" (a popular fantasy even though it makes no sense that you'd be punishing someone who isn't yours), you're mostly looking for fems but will consider males (oo maybe I'll get to watch), your demand to know what they want in a D/s relationshp (hey! email me your fantasies!) push some buttons, as is your admission of being a novice (hmm I bet I can manipulate her)....well.   You may want to rethink. You could be a little more specific about what you're looking for (someone to learn with, perhaps?) without necessarily coming across as someone who wants men to send you their fantasies, as it reads in it's current incarnations.

Good luck to you.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 2/16/2007 5:05:49 AM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Isaidnow)

Post #: 9

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 5:13:05 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

Ah you did a much nicer job than I did MsSonnetMarwood. I hadn't yet had any coffee when I posted heh so mine was rather short and lacking in detail.

_____________________________

*Unless I cite a source it is MO.

~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 10

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 5:25:22 AM

Isaidnow

Posts: 13
Joined: 2/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood

A couple things....

We go round for round on the boards debating whether or not we should be obligated to answer all the emails we get.   Women in particular get a lot, especially if we have a new profile, a picture, or a non-specific profile. Have you gotten the one from the guy who wants to fly you to Egypt and show you the pyramids yet? How about the guy who goes on and on and ON ad nauseum about how he can be your legal slave in every way?

Nope looking forward to that one, make it Thailand and they have a deal

Regarding the offers of tribute - another topic we go round for round on here are Dommes who demand tribute - and yet, here you are getting offers of tribute, which is actually not uncommon.   I would suggest that you not hold your breath actually getting anything - it's merely a way to try to get your attention to hopefully feed their fantasies for a little while.   If they were really looking for a prodomme...they wouldn't be out there trying to convert someone who isn't one.

Yes I thought so

A few comments about your profile. You are going to get inundated with emails because of the content. Your offer to "punish" (a popular fantasy even though it makes no sense that you'd be punishing someone who isn't yours), you're mostly looking for fems but will consider males (oo maybe I'll get to watch), your demand to know what they want in a D/s relationshp (hey! email me your fantasies!) push some buttons, as is your admission of being a novice (hmm I bet I can manipulate her)....well.   You may want to rethink. You could be a little more specific about what you're looking for (someone to learn with, perhaps?) without necessarily coming across as someone who wants men to send you their fantasies, as it reads in it's current incarnations.

Good luck to you.

Some good points in your comments about my profile, back to the drawing board. Making the leap from club/party situations is difficult, but not impossible, this is important to me and I intend to take the process slowly. I have a lot to learn and intend to take all the advice and make the right decisions for both myself and any future sub/slave that serves me.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 11

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 7:14:10 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Isaidnow

New on here and advice on etiquette and content of mails please.

1. I am inundated with mail from potential subs/slaves (I pressume this to be as I am new here, not for any other reason), therefore what is the standard etiquette for replying. I am not that big on myself that I can't be polite and courtious to everyone be it Dom or sub, and beleive that manners cost nothing. But is a standard thankyou but you are not what I am looking for acceptable.

If you feel the need to reply to everyone, a simply "No thank you, I'm not interested" works for those you decline. If you find that you are developing repetative answers, put them in a word file and cut and paste (you may have to do that from the Edit menu, not the hot keys).

quote:

2. No requests for money but offers of money, I have never come accross this before. Why am I being offered money or payment and what is payment?

Feel free to have them paypal it to me as a service to you. I just dropped an engine in my car and I wouldn't mind having the 2k bill paid by someone else! ;-)

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Isaidnow)

Post #: 12

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 7:28:06 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I can relate totally to the op's situation....You come out to CM post that you are a Dom and pretty soon you are being inundated with offers of money for your services or for a cock shot or two.....Extremely dehumanizing!!!!....All you can do is wade throught this sea of humanity and hope that one day there will be someone out there who realizes that you are not someone who can be bought off...That you have wants and needs of your own...Maybe!...Just Maybe!...They are out there!!!

_____________________________

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 13

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 8:31:13 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

Everyone has a different opinion on replying.

Personally my attempt (probably was not 100%) was to reply to anyone who wrote me a personal message, no matter the length, to reply back to them. If they put some significant effort I tended to make sure I wrote something personal in return. Little effort got a more generic response.

I did not reply back to the total jerks or the lazy that could only copy and paste generic messages. My feeling was no effort on their part meant no effort on my part.

The biggest problem you will have is that many take any form of reply as a starting point. There are just some that do not take “no thanks” as an answer. There are also plenty of bitter or natural losers who take rejection personal and will lash out at you. Thick skin is good or needs to be developed.

As far as money goes, I imagine it is some people’s way to try to get themselves to the front of the line. You will find all types and hopefully plenty of them to be your types. Good luck in your search.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 14

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 8:58:05 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Hello Maam,
I put qualifying statements in my profile when I first joined like
Trolling E-Mail s will not be responded to.
&
If you're not interested in being my face to face friend I'm not looking for cyber friends only so long distance people contacting me will be ignored unless you mention you come to my area.
Maybe if you put things like that in yours you won't feel obligated to answer everyone.
In addition to that I think the offers of money come from the notion there are many Maams in here that are Pro Doms and do require money to interact with a male sub.
If you search the forums you'll see how frustrated these men are that they are expected to pay with financial tributes to even be able to E-Mail back and forth with a lot of the Dommes in here.
I'm not saying all need to profit off these poor subs, but many take advantage like that openly.
I'd suggest writing exactly what you're hoping for in your profile, and explaining who you are honestly.
I'd start with I'm new to the scene and learning a lot about WIITWD (what it is that we do).
In time you'll find the groove and niche that fits you well.
Pleasant Journey Maam,
suzanne

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 15

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 9:00:42 AM

slavekara

Posts: 76
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

Greetings All,

It is not just the Dominants who get bonbarded with messages from people, within 24 hours of signing up with CM this girl had recieved 61 messages, and that was just over night.

This girl quickly learnt to read everyone and any message that looked as though it had some thought put into it, this girl then replied. But if they were 'one-liners' (short and boring) this girl would not reply.

slave kara (A)

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 16

RE: Etiquette and money offers - 2/16/2007 10:47:11 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Isaidnow
1. I am inundated with mail from potential subs/slaves (I pressume this to be as I am new here, not for any other reason), therefore what is the standard etiquette for replying. I am not that big on myself that I can't be polite and courtious to everyone be it Dom or sub, and beleive that manners cost nothing. But is a standard thankyou but you are not what I am looking for acceptable.

Respond to what you want and ignore the rest. A stranger sending you something in email does not suggest ANY responsibility or obligation on your part to respond.

quote:

2. No requests for money but offers of money, I have never come accross this before. Why am I being offered money or payment and what is payment?

You'd have to ask them.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Isaidnow)

Post #: 17

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