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Community Standards - 2/16/2007 7:08:01 AM   
Ambivalence


Posts: 9
Joined: 11/6/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe I'm an asshole for doing it, but when I see a new user with a profile that will attract some of the...lower...elements on the site, I offer to help with rewriting the profile so that it will offer a selection of people who care about more than female genitalia and a few appendages.

Good/evil/useful/not?

< Message edited by Ambivalence -- 2/16/2007 7:16:23 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 7:12:40 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I do that too lol.

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RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 7:19:48 AM   
Ambivalence


Posts: 9
Joined: 11/6/2005
Status: offline 		I guess I'm working on the assumption that removing the problem requires removing the factors that attract it in the first place.

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RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 7:31:49 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ambivalence

Maybe I'm an asshole for doing it, but when I see a new user with a profile that will attract some of the...lower...elements on the site, I offer to help with rewriting the profile so that it will offer a selection of people who care about more than female genitalia and a few appendages.

Good/evil/useful/not?


You're advice is probably helpful, but then you have to look at what element your profile picture is attracting.  Those you are helping may see you as somewhat of a hypocrite.  Don't get me wrong, I think your picture is very nice...but when giving the assistance you say you want to give, you have to walk along the line you draw.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

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RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 7:58:03 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		You should use my pic in lieu of the guy that you are with ....You would do "better.".....Rediculous!....Are you going to play Cyrano de Bergerac...and be able to monitor every word they say?...People should sink or swim based on their own merit....I hope you charge for your service.....Just another way for people to be un "twue" to themselves.

Why are you out here trolling...Why not the guy?...Or is this the guy?....Hey! Goddammit that's a picture of my sister....Fakes!!!

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/16/2007 8:22:54 AM >

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RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 8:20:09 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		I think there is no way to remove an element of the100% jerks (male and female), players and people purely seeking titillation.

Personally I try to stay positive and believe most people are sincere and will offer advice if I am asked or would offer unsolicited advice to people who wrote who seemed nice and sincere but their profile needed major re-thinking/effort.

While every one has different things that attract them, time after time when a thread is started up about what are people looking for in a profile and a pretty unanimous opinion emerges, but seeing the replies to these suggestions is often disheartening as the people seem to just want to defend their choices in how they do their profile and complain why they cannot find anyone real. That strange theory of I cannot find anyone so I will keep doing what I have been doing.

I do not think OP picture sends a double message at all! The more information in a profile, including a picture, to me is a better filter to eliminate the ones we complain about. Why someone cannot express their sexuality through visual along with words to show the complete person is beyond me. Part of the effort it takes to find someone online is accepting the delete key will be used frequently.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 8:33:43 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ambivalence

Good/evil/useful/not?


In my opinion, it’s presumptuous if you are searching out newbies in order to do this. You’re assuming that they want something more. Maybe they don’t and perhaps there are people out there who want to be on the receiving (or giving) end of this. However, if you’re speaking to someone who has contacted you, then I feel you are merely being helpful. I do something similar when their message reads in a different tone than their profile. In that case, I suggest some changes to their profile.   What kind of response have you gotten by offering this service proactively? I’d say that these responses would be a better indication of how it’s perceived than by asking us.   Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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BDSM How-To Books

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RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 8:37:52 AM   
Ambivalence


Posts: 9
Joined: 11/6/2005
Status: offline 		I think you'd be surprised by the relatively low amount of attention our profile gets.  It seemed like a natural adjustment.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 8:51:07 AM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		After looking at your pictures, I may look into getting a breast pump for myself.

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 8:58:40 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Your profile is getting "low" attention because you are seeking what everyone else is as well...Just not enough "golden unicorns" to go around.

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RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 9:01:13 AM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		You'd only be an asshole if you know something about this that you're not telling. 

A desire to help doesn't make you one, unless it comes from a smugly superior sense of self, which I didn't get from reading profile/posts.

Still, pehaps you'll consider the possibility that brand new members are prey for a lot of people, and your offer to "help" is a very typical come-on from predators. 

It may be that, while your intentions could be pure, it doesn't come across that way.

Whenever possible, I try to resist contacting newbies.  Almost all girls get a ton of mail upon joining.  I don't care to get lost in the shuffle, nor do I want to find out that the new member who wrote that fabulous, and seemingly knowing, profile, is just a brand-new poseur out to cheat on her husband...

Your good intentions may be counter productive.

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"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 9:23:10 AM   
Ambivalence


Posts: 9
Joined: 11/6/2005
Status: offline 		Mixed results.  Some people are greatly helped by it, others never read the offer, and most just reply with "Thank you."

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Community Standards - 2/16/2007 10:46:34 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ambivalence

Maybe I'm an asshole for doing it, but when I see a new user with a profile that will attract some of the...lower...elements on the site, I offer to help with rewriting the profile so that it will offer a selection of people who care about more than female genitalia and a few appendages.

Good/evil/useful/not?


Believe it or not some women enjoy being a piece of meat, and who are you to say they shouldn't enjoy this? You are also thinking that it is your "job" to remove what you think of as the "low"element. That is a pretty subjective thing in my mind.

"My kink is not your kink but your kink is ok" is pretty much my motto when it comes to WIITWD. I would personally laugh at such an offer, as though I did not know how to write my own profile, or I was somehow mistaken about the type of attention I wanted to receive. I am surprised that more people do not tell you where to stick it frankly, it just shows how graceful those whom you wish to edit are that they simply thanked you instead of telling you where to get off at....

Perhaps I just do not care much what others do and do not do, or who has a profile here. I do not care if there are wankers and wannabes and fakes. I am not worried about all of this, and I wasn't really concerned about it when I was looking. It just never occurred to me that it was my job to police a sex personals site based on BDSM. Just too big of a job for little ole me.

Lastly, most of the types you want to discourage are not reading the profiles anyways... they are the picture book type.. they see a picture of a hot female and they really do not care what is written in her profile... I would think that you would know that after you put a pic up and probably got 1000s of submissive men emailing you... and I am sure the vast majority of them sent one liners, or form emails, they never even bothered with the text, did they?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Community Standards - 2/17/2007 12:52:32 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ambivalence

Maybe I'm an asshole for doing it, but when I see a new user with a profile that will attract some of the...lower...elements on the site, I offer to help with rewriting the profile so that it will offer a selection of people who care about more than female genitalia and a few appendages.

Good/evil/useful/not?


Oh, I'd probably put it somewhere between the 'not useful to slightly deceptive category'. If you are rewriting profiles for others and then they attract a .. um.. higher standard of potential partner based on that profile, the person who is reading it for the first time isn't getting an indication of the newbie, they are getting an indication of 'you', the actual profile writer. That would seem to cause more harm than good, but if no one's biting your head off for it and people are actually letting you write their profiles for them, then I suppose it doesn't really matter what I think. If it works for you, go for it.. you might even find the third you're looking for yourself by your efforts. Win-win in that case.

Celeste

_____________________________

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Community Standards - 2/17/2007 6:11:20 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		In the court of law- commmunity standards apply to your geographic community.  This is how i seen with my own eye our area judge explain it.

despite this-i been comparing notes with stuff found in atttics.

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Profile   Post #: 15
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