honesty (Full Version)

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chainedfarida -> honesty (2/16/2007 10:53:07 AM)

i am curious as to what people think.

is telling someone partial truths being honest?

i say no, i say it is still being dishonest to not fully tell the truth.

am i way out there in my thinking or what?

sincerely far



toservez -> RE: honesty (2/16/2007 11:42:47 AM)

This could very well be a context issue.

To be honest, pun realized when typing, everyone is very dishonest if I was to strictly interpret your words. Would it be dishonest when a co-worker or friend asks you how you are and you quickly say fine because you do not want to go into detail about your life to them at that time?

I do think a person is dishonest when they fail to disclose things that could very well alter someone else’s words and actions. Too withhold information to get a beneficial outcome for one self.




BitaTruble -> RE: honesty (2/16/2007 11:57:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedfarida

i am curious as to what people think.

is telling someone partial truths being honest?

i say no, i say it is still being dishonest to not fully tell the truth.

am i way out there in my thinking or what?

sincerely far



I don't really get what is meant by a partial truth and advocate either telling someone what they want to know or just saying it's none of their business.

Celeste



chainedfarida -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 9:09:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

I do think a person is dishonest when they fail to disclose things that could very well alter someone else’s words and actions. Too withhold information to get a beneficial outcome for one self.




yes, this is what i was meaning, to keep part of what you really mean hidden for an outgain for yourself.  i think to tell only part of the thruth is being dishonest in this situation. i think people should tell it all and allow the other person an opportunity to decide if they want to be part of that outcome, not afterwards when the damage is done.

far



juliaoceania -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 9:52:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedfarida

i am curious as to what people think.

is telling someone partial truths being honest?

i say no, i say it is still being dishonest to not fully tell the truth.

am i way out there in my thinking or what?

sincerely far


Of course it is not being completely honest. Only being transparent can one be completely honest. Now here comes the next question, is the person you are omitting truth from deserving of complete truth? I am a fairly open person, but sometimes it ain't nobody's beeswax but my own. I do not owe everyone the ultimate truth of myself. I have many little truths I keep to myself. I let them out a little at a time.

So, when contemplating being completely honest with others about something I look at what harm could be done to me by being so. I look at the other person's relationship with me. I look at their right to know, like if they knew some truth about me would that make them end their association with me, if the answer to that is "yes", well I need to tell them the complete truth in order for them to make informed consensual choices about me.

My Daddy teaches people how to set boundaries to make them safe. One thing he has repeatedly told me is that I do not owe people truth that might seek to harm me with it.



MzMia -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 10:03:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedfarida

i am curious as to what people think.

is telling someone partial truths being honest?

i say no, i say it is still being dishonest to not fully tell the truth.

am i way out there in my thinking or what?

sincerely far


Wonderful question, as one who is working hard on { biting her tongue and even what she types
online at places such as CM}  and becoming more "politically correct", in the vanilla world.
As wonderful as this site is, it is heavily censored.
I have to say NO.
As stated in that movie "Most people cannot handle the truth".
They will lie and say they can, be in reality they can not.



chainedfarida -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 10:15:23 AM)

i hear where you guys are coming from.

i know there are times when we do not completely tell the whole situation. like the example at work and you are asked how are you and you state fine, cause you dont want to get into how you really are feeling or it is none of their beeswax. i agree whole heartedly.

i guess where i feel it is being dishonest is ok lets say that you are considering another girl for a poly relationship, one to come join your home, but you dont tell them all about what your plans are for you and the other girls. Or, you keep it a secret that you already have slaves in the home because it may loose you an opportunity of collaring that girl. So, i think in certain circumstances, there absoluetly needs to be complete honesty, upfront so that the person can make an informed decsion concerning their lives.

for the everyday stuff, even though i am open and honest i will keep things to myself if it doesnt pertain to the situation, such as at work scenarios...etc. i hope this makes sense, but i do thank everyone for their answers, cause it gives me alot to think on and helps.

sincerely far



juliaoceania -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 10:24:42 AM)

quote:

i guess where i feel it is being dishonest is ok lets say that you are considering another girl for a poly relationship, one to come join your home, but you dont tell them all about what your plans are for you and the other girls. Or, you keep it a secret that you already have slaves in the home because it may loose you an opportunity of collaring that girl. So, i think in certain circumstances, there absoluetly needs to be complete honesty, upfront so that the person can make an informed decsion concerning their lives.


That is just lying my omission. I would think it would be even more than omission because in the scenario you just set up it would be very hard to just lie by omission. Who allows themselves to be collared before asking pointed questions such as if a dom is poly, do they have other slaves, how many people are they talking to? Who gets collared without asking who lives with their soon-to-be owner? I would not allow myself to be collared by someone without asking pointed questions like these...

Recently another poster stared a thread about a dom she was on the brink of dating when he informed her he was poly. She had discussed being monogamous and he had not spoken up until right before they met. He was stretching the line between lying and just omitting truth... at least he admitted it before they met.



SirDominic -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 11:18:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedfarida
is telling someone partial truths being honest?
i say no, i say it is still being dishonest to not fully tell the truth.


You are correct, but what is your point? Seems to me the question is not whether telling the full truth is honest or not, it is - is there harm in it.

The short answer, to me, is intent.

If you are keeping part of the truth from someone for their benefit, you are being dishonest, but you're motives are honorable. If you are withholding part of the truth for your benefit at the expense of someone else's, that would not be honorable.

Namaste, Sir Dominic



sub4hire -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 11:32:28 AM)

A lie is a lie.  Although many on this site will argue the point and say it is ok to lie and be dis-honest.  It is ok to lie in all facets of life as they know it....because everybody does.



asubmissiveheart -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 11:42:35 AM)

A agree the question is a moot point, everyone lies.



Real0ne -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 12:17:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedfarida

i am curious as to what people think.

is telling someone partial truths being honest?

i say no, i say it is still being dishonest to not fully tell the truth.

am i way out there in my thinking or what?

sincerely far


as much as i hate to say it, i think it depends on the situation and people involved.  as a rule however it is wrong imo but there are "rare" occasions i feel it is justified



KenDckey -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 4:43:08 PM)

I try always to be honest and truthful.   But I do ommit things.   If I am discussing my grand daughter, what difference does it make what color eyes or hair she has, what color shoes she had on last time I saw her and all that.  If I had to remember every single detail of every single conversation I ever had, as opposed to the gist of the converrsation and it's meaning, would be wrong in my opinion.

A specific incident to cite:   I did an accident investigation once that covered five different incidents.  the report was several inches thick.  the results were that bleach can cause PVC pipes to explode and the reasons for that to happen was once bleach begins to degrade it breaks down into table salt and oxygen.  Oxygen expands, and boom the pipe breaks.  That was the gist of the report.  Was it important that someone was close?  No   Was it important that one of the people was allergic to bleach?   no  was it a lie because I didn't include these facts with the several other inches worth of facts?   No.

but if I tell you what I believe to be the truth, be as open and honest as I can without boring us completely to death,



chainedfarida -> RE: honesty (2/17/2007 10:05:50 PM)

i agree questions need to be asked and answers given before i get into a M/s relationship again....

sincerely far

many thanks



Stephann -> RE: honesty (2/18/2007 6:20:48 AM)

farida,

the situations you described are appropriate.  Not telling the truth, because you fear the consequences, is not an acceptable excuse.  If while walking by a house, someone attacks me with a knife because they thought I was a burgler, I can intellectually understand their reasoning.  That doesn't make their actions even remotely acceptable.

Something to consider, is that nobody 'owes' you honesty.  You will never deserve honesty.  Either the person will give you honesty, or they will not.  By the same token, you 'owe' nobody your submission; you give it, or you do not.  Seek to give your submission to someone who demonstrates that they are honest.  Be willing, and ensure a potential owner is willing, to take the time to demonstrate that honesty, so that real trust is built (not 'insta-love' that seems to run rampent with online to offline relationships.)

Best wishes,

Stephan



chainedfarida -> RE: honesty (2/18/2007 7:33:02 AM)

yes Stephan,

i know where my weakness lies in jumping in too quickly, and this time i am taking my time to learn about the person fully before i give my submission to Him

sincerely far



bludemonn -> RE: honesty (2/18/2007 3:29:32 PM)

Interesting question. think about this.

In a civilised world where man and woman 'respected' their partner for being wholly honest and never argued or good moody or irritated no matter how seemingly brutal the others honesty was: "darling you have a fat ass and its horrible" or "sugar you are built like a flea and i wish you would go to the gym" or " i didnt like the way that woman looked at you and it must be YOUR fault" or even " that guy looks really nice, yes i fancy him but i love you" or what about " i went out today with my female work mates and we flirted but nothing else, you believe me right?" or heres a good un " ofcourse you are the only person i think about and adore i would never even look at another (man/woman)!"

THAT is a lie and we all know it but honestly ask yourself could you handle the truth? Sometimes partners are sensitive to what their partner would do if told the absolute truth and as we all wish to live a peaceful un-argumentative life we become economic with the truth i.e. only tell half the story.

To cut to the chase until we can start to behave ourselves when told the truth we will always encourage lying end of story.  



chainedfarida -> RE: honesty (2/24/2007 8:52:25 PM)

interesting perspective, i for one when in a collar only do think of my Master, but that is me. i have found a wonderful Master that is open and honest with me. i do not think that i know everything about Him but what we talk about i learn more about the integrity of the man he is, and it is great.

i wear my feelings on my sleeve for all to see, and to meet someone that is open as well has been a real head rush.

forever far



Sinergy -> RE: honesty (2/24/2007 9:47:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chainedfarida

i am curious as to what people think.

is telling someone partial truths being honest?

i say no, i say it is still being dishonest to not fully tell the truth.

am i way out there in my thinking or what?

sincerely far


I teach women's self defense.

A woman is standing in front of her house, and some creepy guy walks up and says "do you live here?"

Does she owe this person the truth?

I dont think so.  But then I teach her to tell lies to protect her safety.

I personally believe I only owe the truth to people I care about.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy



Termyn8or -> RE: honesty (2/24/2007 10:45:27 PM)

You opened a big can of worms here, here are these.

What do you tell your boss ?
What do you tell your neighbor ?
What do you tell the press ?
What do you tell your spouse ?
What do you tell your kids ?

It is a fine line we draw between honesty and tact, between honesty and self prevervation, between honesty and privacy.

T



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