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toywill -> female Dominance (3/15/2005 6:33:12 PM)

Would it be hard for a Female Dominant to make a strong willed Male to submit.
If a submissive male has a real strong rebellious quiet attitude and will fight the dominant every step but will surrendered eventually is this good from the Female Dominant position.

strong willed toywill[:)]



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: female Dominance (3/15/2005 7:30:23 PM)

A lot of people say they love a challenge; I love strong men, not men who dare me for make them submit, or smartasses... I don't dare try to force anyone to submit; he either does it to/for me or he does not, and if he does not, that he belongs with someone else.
Just my $.02, and that's all it's worth given my limited experience. M



MadameDahlia -> RE: female Dominance (3/15/2005 11:13:16 PM)

Earning someone's submission is one thing... having to fight for it tooth and nail is another.

I consider truly forced submission abuse. If I have to beat someone over the head with a pan to get him or her to mop my floors it isn't worth my time, energy or the possible jail sentence.



BeachMystress -> RE: female Dominance (3/15/2005 11:40:53 PM)


I'm sure you find your scenario of being forced very hot, but it leaves me cold. I don't like drama queens, and the type of sub who has to be "conquered" ranks up there to me with those. If you want to submit to someone, find the right woman and do it. If the two of you like amazon role playing, wonderful.

By the way.. what you described, rebellious quiet attitude/fight every step of the way, fits in with a passive aggressive. That is something to be worked through in therapy, not with a Dominant.

To me, the person you described is not looking to submit. He's looking to live out his fantasy. This lifestyle isn't about the sub's fantasy. It is about the Dominants.



BeachMystress -> RE: female Dominance (3/15/2005 11:53:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia
I consider truly forced submission abuse. If I have to beat someone over the head with a pan to get him or her to mop my floors it isn't worth my time, energy or the possible jail sentence.



Did you ever run into Orion from out by Thousand Palms? She was semiPro and had a newbie client go to the cops after a session with her, claiming violence. While he'd agreed to a "certain level" of stuff, he felt she went beyond that. Considering the attitude about Domination, the cops were more than happy to swear out a warrant against her. Things went downhill from there. While Domination is legal, there is still the problem if someone claims you went too far and abused them the law will likely land on their side; especially if they have marks to show.



NATI -> RE: female Dominance (3/15/2005 11:54:55 PM)

You sound like you are very proud of your strong will. Perhaps it is some sort of 'badge' for you to resist and hold out for as long as you can, but in all honesty - I don't find this type of sub very entertaining. What's in it for the Domme to drag you into your submission while you 'fight' her 'every step of the way'. Sounds very one sided to me. Not my cup of tea.




BlkTallFullfig -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 12:10:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia
If I have to beat someone over the head with a pan to get him or her to mop my floors it isn't worth my time, energy or the possible jail sentence.

[sm=lol.gif][sm=lol.gif][sm=lol.gif]
Thanks for the laugh MadameDahlia. M



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 12:18:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
By the way.. what you described, rebellious quiet attitude/fight every step of the way, fits in with a passive aggressive. That is something to be worked through in therapy, not with a Dominant.

BeachMystress,
I just love the way you're able to cut through to the heart of the matter, in a kind/sensitive way.
I wish I'd read this thread 1 year ago, I'd have known what to avoid sooner. M



ShiftedJewel -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 3:10:57 AM)

I personally LOVE a challenge.... just not into uphill battles and that's what you describe. Being honest, if a submissive male told me that he was going to "fight me every step of the way"... I'd say "see ya"...

Jewel



LadyAngelika -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 4:55:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress


By the way.. what you described, rebellious quiet attitude/fight every step of the way, fits in with a passive aggressive. That is something to be worked through in therapy, not with a Dominant.

I agree with this point and all similar comments on this thread. After I have built a base rapport with a submissive, determined mutual attraction and respect for needs and limits, it's simply "submit or leave". Simple as that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

To me, the person you described is not looking to submit. He's looking to live out his fantasy. This lifestyle isn't about the sub's fantasy. It is about the Dominants.

I personally believe that it's about both the dominants and the submissive’s fantasies. I am actually interested in knowing my submissives' fantasies and I will most definitely give them what it is that they want/need. I think it's a 2-way street. They will however learn how I expect them to communicate their wants/needs to me.

I know some men like the fantasy of being taken down. Within the scope of a D/s dynamic, I have permitted this to happen within a role-playing scene such as POW or interrogation play. What is great about this is that it permits exploration within a pre-existing respectful dynamic where I don’t have to fight with them for their submission.

- LA



onceburned -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 7:41:46 AM)

I do not want to offend and hope I do not provoke flames, but your post remined me of cognitive dissonance, i.e. holding values or ideas which conflict with one another.

You are attracted to submission - that is clear. But could it also be that submission is contrary to your values or self-esteem and that you can not embrace submission without guilt or shame? Perhaps you need to be 'forced' to submit so you can overcome the conflict between your own values/beliefs/attitudes before you can relax and enjoy submission?

In other words, being taken down gives you permission to do what you want to do. Does this make any sense? I wouldn't know what to do about it but I sense a dynamic.



GddssBella -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 7:44:57 AM)

Holas!

Touching on a couple of points here:

If the sub needs to be overpowered? I'm not interested. It should be an intrinsic aspect of a sub's essence to naturally defer to the lady. Such defiance only prompts me to walk away.

Agreeing with Angelika. This lifestyle is about everyone's fantasies. Yours, mine, joe blow down the block. How someone wishes to address those fantasies is another issue. Personally, I'll withhold gratification of a sub's fetish/fantasy to ensure proper behavior, etiquette, manners, adherence to a task, etc. When the sub has pleased me sufficiently, I will reward him by effectuating this particular proclivity.

{gathers up my 2 cents, pockets the pennies & saunters off}

Stay safe all, play nice, & share your toys w/ others......


[:D]


Bella



MadameDahlia -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 8:24:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia
If I have to beat someone over the head with a pan to get him or her to mop my floors it isn't worth my time, energy or the possible jail sentence.

[sm=lol.gif][sm=lol.gif][sm=lol.gif]
Thanks for the laugh MadameDahlia. M


-chuckles- You are quite welcome.



NATI -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 8:29:49 AM)

quote:

Agreeing with Angelika. This lifestyle is about everyone's fantasies. Yours, mine, joe blow down the block. How someone wishes to address those fantasies is another issue. Personally, I'll withhold gratification of a sub's fetish/fantasy to ensure proper behavior, etiquette, manners, adherence to a task, etc. When the sub has pleased me sufficiently, I will reward him by effectuating this particular proclivity.


I'm also in agreement with LadyAngelika to a degree. In this case though, it sounds very much to me like what he is suggesting is going to 'set' the tone right from the outset. You have to 'force' me (and I'm gonna give you one helluva fight while you're at it) and that's really not acceptable to me. Knowing his proclivities, I can choose if and when and how to act upon them.



mantis65 -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 9:03:10 AM)

quote:

To me, the person you described is not looking to submit. He's looking to live out his fantasy. This lifestyle isn't about the sub's fantasy. It is about the Dominants


Are you saying the submissive should surrender to your fantasies?
I have fantasies that brought me to this place in my life and understand that submitting hers is a good thing. So what you’re saying is the subs fantasies should very similar or compatible with the dominants? Or the sub surrenders completely only the Dommes fantasies?



toywill -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 11:39:02 AM)

so what basically is being said its allright to have a strong will but not the kind that fights the dominant every step just in certain situaions..



BeachMystress -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 12:45:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mantis65

quote:

To me, the person you described is not looking to submit. He's looking to live out his fantasy. This lifestyle isn't about the sub's fantasy. It is about the Dominants


Are you saying the submissive should surrender to your fantasies?
I have fantasies that brought me to this place in my life and understand that submitting hers is a good thing. So what you’re saying is the subs fantasies should very similar or compatible with the dominants? Or the sub surrenders completely only the Dommes fantasies?




I feel that the people should have compatable fantasies, kinks and such. Male subs in particular are way to ready to jump into the wrong relationship just to have a Domme at all. I have always been careful to make sure that the basics of what I want and what the sub wants are compatable. I've released subs when I realized that they had different "fantasy" goals than myself. While I can deal with a crossdresser, I can not deal with a sissy one. It just isn't my fantasy. When I've ended up with one and I know that the core fantasy of the person will not be fulfilled with me, the relationship is over.

While what my sub wants is important, I'm not going to compromise one bit of what I want to give it to him. Therefore, what he wants has to fit inside of what I want.

And yes, when the day is done, the sub surrenders to my fantasy. Because I'm careful in my choice, it is his fantasy also.



Sissyslave71 -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 1:38:04 PM)

quote:

Would it be hard for a Female Dominant to make a strong willed Male to submit.



I think male submission has to be inate or at least a preference in the individual.

Mine certainly is inate.

I won't put up with abuse/being a doormat however.



MsCameron -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 1:49:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: toywill

so what basically is being said its allright to have a strong will but not the kind that fights the dominant every step just in certain situaions..



In the general context, it could have it's place, I don't know.

But having to battle someone all the time just becomes work and very trying. After butting your head against a wall for a long period of time, you will eventually get tired of having a headache.

It's very rewarding watching a strong willed submissive overcome and pull their own submission out because they want to submit rather then being forced.

I wouldn't force submission any more then I would allow myself to be forced to dominate and that's exactly what would be happening.

MsC



diaperedbaby -> RE: female Dominance (3/16/2005 1:51:43 PM)

compatibility is everything
diaperedbaby



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