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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 6:06:56 PM

BeachMystress

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Of course people with dominant personalities can be good submissives. Consider.. do you think people make it to corporate executive, lawyer, politician without a strong/dominant personality? Yet how many of the people in high level positions are submissive in their private live? I know many. Submission has to do with being able to give up the ego and to obey another. Personality does not determine if someone is able to do that; mindset does.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 6:18:00 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

Of course people with dominant personalities can be good submissives. Consider.. do you think people make it to corporate executive, lawyer, politician without a strong/dominant personality? Yet how many of the people in high level positions are submissive in their private live? I know many. Submission has to do with being able to give up the ego and to obey another. Personality does not determine if someone is able to do that; mindset does.

I do agree I must "submit" at work and a few other places, and I normally hate it---sooooo
I would not make the transition to submissive.
I would rather go vanilla then become a submissive.
I would also rather be alone the rest of my life, before I become someone's submissive.

I really would rather fight than switch.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/18/2007 7:07:23 PM

SCDommie

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My slave has a dominant personality. He is a former furneral director. He had to have that personality to conduct funerals and other responsibilities that he had.
He is an excellent slave, and he is very good at protecting me from his prospective. He does not instruct me on how to do things. He will teach me how to do something if I ask him to do so, but he would never control me.
The answer to your question from me is yes, a dominant personality can be a slave.

SCD

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/19/2007 1:57:33 AM

mons

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greetings

yes

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/19/2007 4:26:06 AM

MadRabbit

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This is always one of those interesting discussions that doesnt have a right or wrong answer.

Just a few things I noticed and kind of wanted to comment on from my own experiences and philosophy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

By definition, submission and slavery takes away willfullness.

I dont agree with that when it comes to the concept of consentual slavery. I dont see it as "taking away willfullness", but rather as the slave or submissive using their own will to carry out the will of another. I think it takes willpower to submit, to give up control, to not resist and to obey and successfully carry out the will of another.

I have talked with a few strong willed slaves who feal a deep desire to serve and to devote that strong will to another person.

quote:

ORIGINAL: GuidingLite

A dominant personality couild THINK she wanted to be a slave but that would never work. A bottom yes, a slave never.

I have interacted with people who had very submissive personalities, but defined themselves as bottoms. There is a difference between being submissive and submitting to someone. My ex-submissive is one of those people. Anyone who has met her would define her personality as being submissive, wanting to please other people. She, however, decided after several experiences trying to submit, to identify as solely a bottom. She wanted to be controlled, but she wanted to be controlled her way and be told to do things that she wanted to do. She wanted to please people, but wanted to please them on her terms. She had submissive traits, but was unable to actually submit to someone.

I have very dominant personality traits. I hate being told what to do. Controlling women is fun to me. I enjoy being an authority figure. I have a bad habit of TELLING people rather than asking or discussing with them.

However, I submit everyday I leave my house. I submit to the authority of my boss at work. I submit to the authority of the police when they pull me over on my way home. I submit to the authority of the judge regarding the speeding ticket the police just gave me.

These submissions dont bother me anymore. I go to work and dont mind being told what to do because I have accepted that to keep a job and survive, I have to obey my boss. I have accepted that to stay out of jail I have to submit to the power and authority present in the laws of this country and the people who enforce them. These are compromises everyone has to make, no matter how dominant they claim to be.

So can I become a slave? Yes, I can. Because I reckonize the difference between saying "I cant" and "I wont". If I can accept and find peace in my submission to my boss at work because of the circumstances surrounding it, then I can, if I endeavered to, learn to accept my submission to a master by accepting the fact that I have given consent to be his slave and his authority is what guides me. Why? Because I have a strong enough will TO submit.

Some might call me a switch because of this line of thinking, but thats just a BS label to me. I beleive in Kinsey's line of thinking where he said in the Kinsey Report, "The potential to dominante and to submit exists in everyone in varing degrees." In the big scheme of things, we're all switches. I just choose to identity as dominant in my sexual relationships because that is where my desires rest and where my own personality pulls me. But it doesnt change the fact that I have the potential to submit to someone. Anyone who says they "cant" must have never had a job with a boss or had to deal with the orders of a police officer.

A good example is Jack Rinella. He spent time as a slave and as a Master. Read his book "The Master's Manual."

On the flip side, could I spend my entire life in this position as a slave and be content? Not a chance.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/19/2007 8:28:15 AM

Lashra

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My current sub is a former Master. He for years lived under the assumption that because he was male, he HAD to be dominant. He got into the lifestyle in his 20's and had a couple of subs, then finally got into Gor and took on a 24/7 slave. He was one of the most unhappy men alive. Why? He isn't dominant and he didnt believe in the philosophy. Inwardly he craved to serve BUT he couldn't serve just anyone. He had to find just the right woman and when he met me, he knew that he could finally be his true self and not be judged badly for it.

I believe that there are many good sub males out there, just alot of them are wearing a dominant mask to cover up their true nature. My sub is very macho to everyone else, but he is obedient to me and that is what counts. He isn't a slave, as I took him on as a sub. I think slavery is too intense for a novice to jump into . But someday, maybe if he feels that inner drawing we may walk that path.

~Lashra

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/19/2007 9:26:48 AM

mp072004

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Sure, people inclined to dominate can instead be slaves. It strikes me as just as absurd as daily blow-drying curly hair straight rather than getting a good cut for curly hair, but people do that, too. It's a matter of behavior: if your friend with the dominant personality is able to discipline himself to consistently behave obediently, he could be a good slave.

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RE: Can a dominant personality become a slave? - 2/19/2007 11:21:39 AM

merlin6615

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Inwardly he craved to serve BUT he couldn't serve just anyone. He had to find just the right woman and when he met me, he knew that he could finally be his true self and not be judged badly for it.

I believe that there are many good sub males out there, just alot of them are wearing a dominant mask to cover up their true nature. My sub is very macho to everyone else, but he is obedient to me and that is what counts. He isn't a slave, as I took him on as a sub. I think slavery is too intense for a novice to jump into . But someday, maybe if he feels that inner drawing we may walk that path.

~Lashra

I am going through the same situation here. BINGO! You have hit his nail squarely upon the head! He is completely dominant by nature and was raised to be that way...you are a man so you MUST be dominant. He spent his life dreaming of submitting one day to an intelligent and wise woman who would use and lead him for her purpose. He was laughed at when he shared his desire to submit to and be beaten by a woman and so chose to not have any relationship rather than have one that was not ‘his dream’. I think that his strength is perhaps the thing that causes me to SOOOO want to control him. He is petrified that I would take him in the wrong direction...which his fear is baseless! As I see the inner value of the man and where it could go with the proper direction. He does speak to me in a dominant fashion, is very intelligent, decisive, and behaves dominantly; this does not phase me at all as I have found he is easily brought under control with a few simple words of reminder.

Ultimately he's confessed that he really had no intention of becoming a slave even though it had been his life long ultimate desire and fantasy. He was just playing out his fantasies here. He believed in his mind that the person did not exist that would be the yin to his yang. But when he met me he became ensnared and has been unable to free himself from his feelings of internal enslavement.

Here is where fantasy and reality separate: He knew on original contact that I have a life partner that I have no intention of letting go. He fell in love with me and states that it is the first time in his life (42) he has been in love and that this love is vanilla. I have defined love in a huge variety of flavors, but didn’t ever define vanilla different than D’s (or bdsm) with the exception that I felt that the D’s relationship allowed a deeper, more intimate and meaningful love to take place. He fantasized about the humiliation of his Goddess being with other men, but when the real emotions were involved it became much more difficult to imagine submitting to that. He has little real life relationship experience so any relationship would be uncharted ground for him.

Only time will tell.

< Message edited by merlin6615 -- 2/19/2007 11:25:17 AM >

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