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RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 5:52:32 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		What chat room did this happen in? 

People wonder why I hate chat rooms and online crap...

(in reply to BDSM05478)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:01:29 PM   
stateira


Posts: 48
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline 		it didn't happen in a chat room.  My friend that I had the argument lived 5 minutes down the road from me.  She collared with my ex-dom's pregnant submissive.  I know that is confusing.  Like I said before if it was just an online thing I would have blown it off.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:18:35 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I don't understand who belongs to whom, and who dominates whom in this scenario. If both girls belong to the same dominant, then the dominant needs to know what is going on in the relationship he manages.  Whether or not he chooses to intervene is up to him.  This may depend on how new the relationship is, or how stable/unstable/ it is, or any other factor.

If the dominant does not own both of the squabbling girls, then I think it is appropriate to discuss the situation with his own girl, but not the other.

But then I really don't know what the siatuation is here. I think I need an org chart...lol.

(in reply to stateira)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:23:21 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I just wanna know if this has ANYthing to do with the Poly-hillbilly guy with all the mute slaves?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:27:02 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

I don't understand who belongs to whom, and who dominates whom in this scenario. If both girls belong to the same dominant, then the dominant needs to know what is going on in the relationship he manages.  Whether or not he chooses to intervene is up to him.  This may depend on how new the relationship is, or how stable/unstable/ it is, or any other factor.

If the dominant does not own both of the squabbling girls, then I think it is appropriate to discuss the situation with his own girl, but not the other.

But then I really don't know what the siatuation is here. I think I need an org chart...lol.


What he need is a Venn Diagram, plot all the people, and then draw circles around them based upon who has dominated who, who is friends, and who is fighting

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:30:49 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		So long as we can agree on the Unversal Set...and can we get a Gantt chart to know in what timelines such fighting will occur? 

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:35:06 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		Well I was a Criminal Intelligence Analyst for 12 years and one of my jobs was to take a bunch of 'info', sort it out, make sense of it, organize it, chart it and write a report on it that could be understood by cops, lawyers and a jury of someone's peers.

My professional opinion after reading this is.............. huh?

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:36:16 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear stateira, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
It is a wee bit cloudy as to the situation.  Plus, we're dealing with 'what if,' and perceptions, assumptions and the like.
 
My question would be, what was the arguement about by both slaves/submissives.  Sometimes it just needs to be hashed out by the two slaves in the original discussion/topic and or situation.
 
The other question I would ask, is -- Would the dominant be entering into the discussion as a 'friend' verses as a "Dominant" or, is he a Dominant that hates to see a disruption in a household he is a part of.
 
I would see justification in entering the fray per se, if you were creating havoc in my house and disturbing the peace or if I see an arguement that is going out of control and risking the peace between two slaves.
 
So--might be likely, that he entered the fray as a friend more than a Dominant from the later post.
 
But, what concerns me is the Dominant partaking in typing nasty correspondences.  Nobody should have to become nasty for any reason.  Only in defense of one's life.  I'm sure if there was a neutral person in the community to make sense of all the drama; I'm sure that would be of help.

 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

< Message edited by LadyHugs -- 2/18/2007 6:39:34 PM >

(in reply to stateira)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:39:33 PM   
stateira


Posts: 48
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline 		kinda hard to make a table here but I will try.




slave                                                                      sub belongs to
                                                                             switch who belongs to
                                                                             Dom in question. 




the slave (me) and the sub are fighting.  the sub belongs to the switch...not the Dom.  that is why I say the Dom is not involved. 

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:41:54 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stateira

kinda hard to make a table here but I will try.






slave                                                                      sub belongs to
                                                                            switch who belongs to
                                                                            Dom in question. 






the slave (me) and the sub are fighting.  the sub belongs to the switch...not the Dom.  that is why I say the Dom is not involved. 


Thank you for having a great sense of humor about yourself, that alone makes your dom a very lucky guy.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to stateira)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:42:43 PM   
stateira


Posts: 48
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline 		hehe...thanks

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:43:23 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		i see you gave more info.....

Actually he is sort of involved.  Any chance you can just email all parties involved and nicely say "lets just drop it and go our seperate ways?"


< Message edited by Devilslilsister -- 2/18/2007 7:08:46 PM >

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 6:55:19 PM   
BreatheinToMe


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

  But in this example, I would say the third cousin of the sub, collared to the slave's ex-Master's uncle's brother in law, should call the slave's sub, and apologize for the slave's sub's brother's dog's peeing on the neighbour's cat's dog toy.  


My neighbor's hairdressers' sister's boyfriend's parrot said it was you who peed on my toy.........and I told him to tell her to tell them to tell you that pissed me off!  Does that make one of us hypothetically pissy?


I bet the parrot wasn't a true parrot though !   

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 7:13:21 PM   
BreatheinToMe


Posts: 58
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stateira

kinda hard to make a table here but I will try.






slave                                                                      sub belongs to
                                                                            switch who belongs to
                                                                            Dom in question. 






the slave (me) and the sub are fighting.  the sub belongs to the switch...not the Dom.  that is why I say the Dom is not involved. 


Using your logic, who is to say that the opinions on this forum carry any more weight than that Dom on the bottom there  ? hehe  
 

(in reply to stateira)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 7:16:58 PM   
SimplySubmissive


Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stateira

kinda hard to make a table here but I will try.








slave                                                                      sub belongs to
                                                                           switch who belongs to
                                                                           Dom in question. 








the slave (me) and the sub are fighting.  the sub belongs to the switch...not the Dom.  that is why I say the Dom is not involved. 

oops....nevermind

< Message edited by SimplySubmissive -- 2/18/2007 7:18:10 PM >

(in reply to stateira)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 8:17:42 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

It all sounds very Jerry Springerish.



      Stateira, when you find me quoting Julia, in wholehearted agreement, you can probably take that answer to the bank.

     

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 8:34:23 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BreatheinToMe

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

  But in this example, I would say the third cousin of the sub, collared to the slave's ex-Master's uncle's brother in law, should call the slave's sub, and apologize for the slave's sub's brother's dog's peeing on the neighbour's cat's dog toy.  


My neighbor's hairdressers' sister's boyfriend's parrot said it was you who peed on my toy.........and I told him to tell her to tell them to tell you that pissed me off!  Does that make one of us hypothetically pissy?


I bet the parrot wasn't a true parrot though !   

Since he said benji was the one who peed I'm giving the parrot the benefit of the doubt.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to BreatheinToMe)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 8:49:53 PM   
sensualmagirl


Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		I'm not sure what your end of the argument was, who was wrong and who was right, but, to me, it doesn't matter that this man is a Dom to the Switch who has collared your friend or just some vanilla person.

The argument is between you and your friend. End of story. IMHO, anyone else needs to stay out of it... and I think you have the right to tell "Sam" the same. Especially since you and your ex-friend are not even talking anymore.

Can you tell the "sub" to get "Sam" to stop bothering you for her?

I have a (vanilla) friend I'm not talking to anymore, and if her husband started sending me tacky messages, I would be pissed off!

Good luck though... arguments are never fun, I can't imagine having another getting in the middle of it as well.

_____________________________

"The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give" --Eleanor Roosevelt


MySpace

(in reply to stateira)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 9:18:46 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

As soon as I read the "I have a hypothetical question," I knew it wasn't. 

I have no idea what actually happened, but as a general rule, people, regardless of self-definitions, should stay out of other peoples' fights.  If it concerns the Dom, or if the Dom decides to intervene on behalf of his sub, more power to him, but only on behalf of his sub.

But in this example, I would say the third cousin of the sub, collared to the slave's ex-Master's uncle's brother in law, should call the slave's sub, and apologize for the slave's sub's brother's dog's peeing on the neighbour's cat's dog toy.

Make sense?

Yours,


benji


(Hypothetically speaking)

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: should a Dom be involved? - 2/18/2007 9:39:06 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stateira

kinda hard to make a table here but I will try.






slave                                                                      sub belongs to
                                                                            switch who belongs to
                                                                            Dom in question. 






the slave (me) and the sub are fighting.  the sub belongs to the switch...not the Dom.  that is why I say the Dom is not involved. 


I think you missed a piece here, but I admit to being a bit confused and it doesn't seem as if that missing piece is affecting this issue soooo...

I understand that from your perspective, the dominant is not involved, but from my outside point of view, anyone who is involved with me, affects my relationship with Himself, so I could see where someone who is affecting the relationship with his own submissive (aka the switch) is his business.  There is a bit of a domino dynamic in a round about way. That said, simply being a dominant does not give him any special rights or power over you. Sending tacky messages sounds childish to me, so if I were you, I'd feel free to safeword him as a hard limit. You don't have to play with children if you don't want to, so, block his messages and ignore him. Eventually, he'll get bored and go away.

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to stateira)
Profile   Post #: 40
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