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chrissyslave -> RE: should a Dom be involved? (2/19/2007 4:52:09 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
My question would be, what was the arguement about by both slaves/submissives. Sometimes it just needs to be hashed out by the two slaves in the original discussion/topic and or situation.
The other question I would ask, is -- Would the dominant be entering into the discussion as a 'friend' verses as a "Dominant" or, is he a Dominant that hates to see a disruption in a household he is a part of.
I would see justification in entering the fray per se, if you were creating havoc in my house and disturbing the peace or if I see an arguement that is going out of control and risking the peace between two slaves.
So--might be likely, that he entered the fray as a friend more than a Dominant from the later post.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
I think Lady Hugs really addressed the basic issues here, not the who-done-what-belongs-to-whom-now-or-before given example. I think when two subs/slaves have the right major focus they first see their direct relationship as a form of mutual support of each other to be better slaves for their dom/master, and secondly for their own well being should be willing to work out any shortcomings in their communications pattern, and level of content. A pattern would include if they go to the other sub first, or master first regarding relatively smaller concerns, and the content would of course be the exact type of issues to be resolved and how important it is overall. In general the lower the level of resolution possible the better, and the less involvement/stress on the dom.
The biggest hurddle is when a new girl (or guy) comes in to a well established Master/slave situation (even versus a Dom/sub) since the pattern has been for the previous slave to take everything to the Master, and feels they should take EVERYTHING to the master, and if on a daily basis, and not in contact with the other slave on a daily basis (not 24/7 together or chatting) then the new girl is likely to feel both left out of the communications loop, especially when it regards herself. Because she cannot or will not be allowed to resolve things directly then she may find she cannot fully trust the first positioned girl, and that she is possibly being subverted in the relationship. In the most basic terms she cannot "trust" the other girl with as full of self-revelation, and fully trust the whole situation if she is always hearing about things "after the fact" or damage done.
In my view, the new girl is wise in such postions to tread lightly, keep her most important cards in her life to herself, and work on establishing her direct connection with the master. Of course much depends on the style of the master, and his preferred degree of micro-managing, or not, his (or her) subs/slaves. Certainly as Sir Michael has stated at times (how many times?...LOL!) that he is not overly taken with on-line relationships (not to mention chat rooms and mentors....or Chawawas...or was that winnie dogs?...smiles).
One of the things I am trained to do with my management degrees is to look at the organizational chart, but then look at the true communcations flow, to see what is really happening in a group. If they don't match up well, then it's just a form of self-deception. And reationships that do not have regular face-to-face contact have the largest potential for lack of resolution, even for smaller concerns. So the less direct the relationships then the more importance for good understandings and communications patterns even if mostly electronically. But I'm one for trying even difficult arrangements at least once, if the paticipants are intelligent and willing to work on communication styles/flow, and the rewards are high enough with the most minimal collateral damage (including sub/slave body counts.....[:-]). And when such concerns do arise to get it cleaned up ASAP before it grows or reoccurs.
In this OP situation if the "fight" is outside of immediate control by the affected sub(s), or unwilling to resolve it on their own, and threaten to cause continued problems then by all means the dom(s) should take steps to resolved it at the appropriate level, which is across the board to the dom of the other girl, which then as they say "s*** flows downhill."...on both sides of the hill. And I would bet that some of this "fight" was due to some power play or "one is a better dom/sub than him/you" stuff even if indirectly so. So grow up and get over it girls! If not, I suggest making them form a mud pit, invite lots of friends over and let them fight it out in there.....but I get the hot dog and beer concession rights! Hummmm...that gives me an idea for my own.......LOL!
chrissy
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