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Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 7:00:07 AM   
ruffnecksbabygir


Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		i am probably the most disorganized person i have ever met! i lose everything, forget everything...i have no self discipline....so, this makes it very difficult for me to be consistent with Master's rules and my daily routine...i've never had that type of structure before in my life and now it's one of the hardest challenges i am faced with.

My question is.... does anyone else find it hard to keep consistent or is it just me? i'll give an example...Master has me call Him every morning at a certain time, many times i do, but then there are times i just forget, or wake up late...etc...they are minor things which add up and Master has to constantly remind me of things and it's aggrevating on Him and the last thing i want to do is irritate Master! i want to be able to over come this and He is always helping me, i've improved, but still not enough.

Any comments, advice, opinion, thoughts ???





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< Message edited by ruffnecksbabygir -- 3/16/2005 7:10:01 AM >

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Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet
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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 7:28:09 AM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I've struggled with this at work. I'd use the calendar program on the computer to schedule things with alarms, but if I was away from the computer, I'd miss the alarm. The solution was to get a palm pilot (Any pda will work). They're relatively cheap these days (basic models for under $100). Of course, you then have to keep up with the pda. I stick mine in my back pocket (I wear jeans to work, lucky me!). You can set reoccuring events with alarms. Way cool contraption.

Fire


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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 7:35:52 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Have you considered getting a palm or hand help pc? Some are fairly inexpensive and have alarms on them that you can set to go off daily, as well as a place to put a list of things you need to do. Getting organized is simply about relearning habits, practicing the skills daily until they become second nature. That's where the hand held pc would come in handy, not only does it have an alarm that will remind you, it also has a note to remind you of WHAT it is you are supposed to be doing at that time.

Jewel

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 8:02:27 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Unfortunately I tend to over-schedule and be obsessed about timing on things, so it's one of the areas I'm naturally attuned to, though we all forget things sometimes.

Have you tried making out a calendar, each day of the week, listing down everything you're supposed to do for those days which you can check off. If you put your mind to it every day to check on the list regularly, you will be reminding yourself of what to do and when to do it. After a few weeks it should become routine.

Also, start going to bed 15 minutes earlier every night. Set an eggtimer or your own bed alarm if you need to. Read your list before you go to bed to remind you of the things for the next day. That way, you can set your alarm appropriately and get up.

Self-discipline is one of the best skills a person can have, specially as a submissive. It takes becoming aware of what you need to change, which you've done, and then regularly putting focus on that, even if it means missing or stopping other "fun" things for the long-term benefits.

To put a twist on an overused cliche "How can you have someone else discipline you if you can't discipline yourself?"

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 8:26:24 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Self-discipline is one of the best skills a person can have, specially as a submissive. It takes becoming aware of what you need to change, which you've done, and then regularly putting focus on that, even if it means missing or stopping other "fun" things for the long-term benefits.

To put a twist on an overused cliche "How can you have someone else discipline you if you can't discipline yourself?"


***aplauds***

However: I am one too that has troubles with daily disciplines, but will conquer this struggle.

Sir does not give me a lists of task daily, but he has asked that I keep a daily journal and even though i love writing and even writing to him daily, i still fail at giving 15 minutes attention to the journal, which i know it is for my benefit as well as O/ours.

Once again, you have offered some great advice Emerald. You are wise beyond your years and I am sure your Master is very proud.

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 8:42:27 AM   
MidnightWriter


Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Some good advice here - checklists are, IMO, a better tool than computer-based reminders, mostly because you build a habit, rather than relying on the computer - and a habit is with you always, even when the computer/PDA dies.

It may be useful for you to focus on 2 or 3 tasks at a time, adding more tasks as the first few become habits. Habit is best built with consistency, and consistency is easiest with more focus - dividing your attention among many new tasks may make failing in those tasks harder to avoid, thus thwarting the habit-building process.

For myself, it's much easier to be organized in an organized environment - is it time to spring-clean that desk, unclutter your life? (Yeah, I'm projecting here - but it is time for me to get to my spring cleaning!)

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 8:43:57 AM   
ruffnecksbabygir


Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for such great tips!

i don't have the palm thingy, but that's a good idea. Master did give me an agenda book which i am suppose to carry with me all the time. i also have a journal which i do write on every night before bed and i've been pretty good at keeping that up...after i got punished for forgetting that i learned my lesson rather quickly and do get it done nightly.

i have a huge problem with this tho...i am a.d.d, although Master says that's an excuse, He knows me better than anyone and has pointed out many things in me that has made me realize i do put up way too many excuses for myself and i am working hard at that. It's just not that easy to change life long patterns. i know it is not impossible, and i have to make these changes for my sake as well as Masters, but i get frustated with myself, and i get so tired of everyone complaining about my lack of organization and discipline...ugh! i appreciate all the advice i have received here and i will definately use it.
~hugs~
Babygirl









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Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 8:50:42 AM   
ruffnecksbabygir


Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		For myself, it's much easier to be organized in an organized environment - is it time to spring-clean that desk, unclutter your life? (Yeah, I'm projecting here - but it is time for me to get to my spring cleaning!)

That is just SO true! my car, desk, home is usually a mess...i am clean, but do usually have much clutter all around me, i don't throw out any receipts, have stacks of bills, papers, books, everywhere....ugh! i usually don't know where to begin when i am going to start picking up ... i just want to run the other way! lol



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~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 9:18:41 AM   
MidnightWriter


Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir
<...> my car, desk, home is usually a mess...i am clean, but do usually have much clutter all around me, i don't throw out any receipts, have stacks of bills, papers, books, everywhere....ugh! i usually don't know where to begin when i am going to start picking up ... i just want to run the other way! lol

It's easy to be overwhelmed by that large a task, and that environment isn't going to help you be organized. As much as I sneer at some folks who use flylady's cleaning help web site, she does have a good philosophy for overcoming that "overwhelmed" obstacle.

Basically, it's "just do 10 or 15 minutes at a time" - set a timer, and tackle one section - the kitchen drawer, the desktop, the dusting - whatever strikes you first. When the timer goes off, you've accomplished something, and your environment is better than it was.

Myself, I'm more task-oriented - I'll clear off that tabletop, whether it takes 5 minutes or an hour - but the results are the same - something done, something better than it was.

Perhaps you could discuss this with your Master, and have some of the tasks he assigns focus on this - it'd make the rest of things much easier.

_____________________________

Power corrupts. Absolute power ... is really pretty nifty.

TIES - pansexual BDSM social group in MN, USA - http://www.ties-bdsm.org

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 12:29:37 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
This is a bit of a problem with my submissive and myself. When he isn't thrilled about doing something, he is very apt to forget it. Once I point out how important something is to me, he's a lot better about remembering it, but I had to ride him a good two weeks to get him to make a Dr's appt for a physical. It started with reminders to do it, and got to the point of aggravation on my part. I am not someone who enjoys or deals well with frustration. It takes me from zero to BITCH in 2.2 seconds. After we hit that point, he remembers to do it.

Part of forgetting is being human. We overload our brains. The more important you make a task, the less likely you are to forget it. But as we see every year or so when the tragedy of a child being left in a car instead of dropped off at daycare shows, we can even forget the most important things in our lives.

Where is the first place you head in the morning when you're competent enough to call your Dom? Go get a yellow sticky note and write in big letters CALL and stick it there. You'll see it each morning and it will remind you. You can use the sticky note approach to remind yourself of other important things. use the bevel of your computer monitor for those. And the big part is.. read them all each day when you first get to the computer.

Another idea for remembering to call is to go get a watch with an alarm on it and set it for the time you're to call.

Good luck




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Beach Mystress
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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 1:34:52 PM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		I read through the whole thread first to get an idea of what advice you've gotten before I added anything and I think you've gotten some really good tips. After talking with mygirl about how she stays on top of things, she suggested the "post-it treasure hunt" method.
She suggests putting a post-it on the bathroom mirror, reminding you to call your master, as most folks head to the bathroom first thing in the morning. You might then put another post-it or notepad on or by the phone, reminding you of what you need to tackle after your phone call. perhaps such a system might help you to establish new habits.
Best of luck,
Timothy

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 3:56:01 PM   
subcheryl


Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
Status: offline 		I have pretty much the same problem with staying organized also. First off on the oversleeping and forgetting to call your master, use an alarm clock with the suggested sticky note stuck to it, and all of the ritual places you go to first thing on waking up. As for the other things I find writing notes or lists does help, esp. with the overwhelming feeling of not being able to get things done as you check them off then you see some progress, but also realize you may not get them all done in one day, but as other posts have stated something done is better than none, and as for finding things lost, LOL, Master has more of a problem with that then I do. He will lay things down and then can't find them and has walked past them several times, finally I ask what he is looking for and then tell him where they are, but for the times I do misplace something, I take a mini break, calm myself and in the process, I retrace my steps in my mind from the last place I remember seeing them or having them and usually will end up finding them where I last had them. One problem I can't seem to cure is starting a cleaning project and finishing it, as I pick up things and go put them away, I get side tracked in another room and start cleaning there and end up getting side tracked in another room so nothing ever gets totally cleaned, HELP! ! ! !

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 5:39:42 PM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		That I think I, can help with. I advise a bloc of time in each area. rather than actually putting something away in another room when you find it in the room you're cleaning, just set it inside the doorway of the room it belongs in. when the allotted time expires for the room you're working on, stop and move to the next room on your schedule. Within a week you should have every room finished. If you're talking about a huge mess, prioritize what needs to be done on a daily basis and note what constitutes special projects, focussing on the daily tasks first and working through your list of special tasks when you have extra time.
Hope that helps,
Timothy

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 6:14:27 PM   
GentleLady


Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		One small addition to making a list of things that need to be done during the day and during the week. If you have an idea of how long the task will take then jot down the amount of time beside it. That way if you find yourself with 15 or 30 minutes spare you can check the list and pick a job that can be finished in that amount of time. It is frustrating to start something and run out of time and equally frustrating to have spare time that is wasted when you know there are lots of things that need doing.

Gentle Lady

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 6:22:48 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Also, start going to bed 15 minutes earlier every night. Set an eggtimer or your own bed alarm if you need to. Read your list before you go to bed to remind you of the things for the next day. That way, you can set your alarm appropriately and get up.


As a side comment, one thing I found works really well to remember the activities of the next day is to fully visualize doing it the night before.

As far as keeping notes and using a PDA, I have found that I personally take care of things in a timely manner and notes/PDA are things I never go back and look at later. I will say
that entering information into notes does tend to burn it in my brain.

Dunno if that helps, but its just me and I could be wrong.

Sinergy

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 8:06:15 PM   
CitizenCane


Posts: 349
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		My girl has a whiteboard with a weekly grid in wet-erase marker on it. She checks things off on a regular schedule with a dry-erase marker. She has had a lot of resistance to being scheduled at some points, but it's a system that prevents 'forgetting'. Next to it she has another board for tasks that don't happen on a regular schedule. It doesn't always work, but it helps a lot.
Like anything, it takes effort to get started, but it becomes a regular routine and easy to handle after awhile. I've noticed that having an order for performing tasks, and a general time-frame (morning, noon, evening) works better than a strict time-table, but then we live together and I'm not waiting around for her to call me. Just having an established sequence really helps get things done consistently.

Citizen Cane

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 9:24:54 PM   
gretchen


Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Yes!, I´m pretty messy too when it comes to remember new habits and routines. I also have memory problems...I can easily forget what I was talking about five minutes ago, or what is this thread about, while I´m writting a post!.

I´m new with D/s relationships, and Stephan and I (we really don´t fit in the Master/slave names thing, at least not yet) are taking it really slow. Wich means that we haven´t really live together, or anything like that to get into the routines.

He has pointed me out a few things to do and remember every time I´m at his place, like "feed the plant". And it´s so simple and easy, but I get so frustrated when I forget about them.

I forget things so frequently, and I´m so stubborn that having an agenda would be pointless. And I know this is going to change as the relationship and my memory storage grow with a little discipline...I mean, I hope it does change.

What really works for me right now is "learning the hard way". Getting frustrated over something so easy, makes me angry enough to remember it next time, and always.


gretchen

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/16/2005 10:56:02 PM   
mystnangel


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I used to be fully organized, totally anal and so obsessive, a dust bunny wouldn't dare cross my path, for a searing look would incinerate it. Nor would I miss a single task, or be late for any event. THEN, I went through a bout of chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. A person gets what is called brain fog. I became a total ditz! My daughter asked me when I turned blond. (No offense to blondes on the list.)

So, in one of my rare modes of clarity, I decided to purchase a PDA. I kept losing it. Then there were the post its. They kept falling off of things. I tried a calendar as well. Kept forgetting to look at it. FINALLY, I purchased a simple little notebook and stuck it around my neck on a chain. I looked like a bleepin' idiot, but it worked. Every night I'd write what needed to be done the next day. Every morning I put it around my neck and I would refer to it often.

Once out the door, I would either place it in my purse or on the seat of my car, but it never left my neck at any other time. I am mostly healed, and rarely need to have it around my neck, but I still keep a small notebook and I still refer to it.

I'm now somewhere inbetween being the anal queen and the ditz. I like me better this way. Sometimes life teaches us lessons even when we're not paying attention. I wish you all the luck in the world at finding what works best for you.

angel

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Oscar Levant

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/17/2005 7:19:20 AM   
Mowas


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/1/2005
Status: offline 		I'm new so bare with me. A lot of great suggestions. I had the exact same problem with my sub.Yes it frustrated me also.Tried all sorts of things. In talking to her about it I reolised 2 important things;
1,I had no reward system in place. Explaining that when she remembers to call me she gets to hear my voice and that will please both of us seemed to help a lot. After getting it rite for a full week there was a dinner waiting in the resturant of her choice.
2. Keep it simple. In order to leave a note she had to remember that also.Electronic note pad was SOMETHING ELSE SHE HAD TO REMEMBER.And she had to learn to use the damn thing,adding to the amount of things that she had to do. by uncomplicating it for her she was able to get it rite.
Set the alarm clock. When you hear it you know who to call. that easy. Needless to say "C" picked one of the most expencive places in town. And I enjoyed takeing her because she had done so well and I was very pleased with her.
We are all human and sometimes we try so hard to get things rite that we make it harder that it has to be. So sometimes less can be more.


< Message edited by Mowas -- 3/17/2005 7:22:53 AM >

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RE: Need help...Consistency Problem - 3/17/2005 7:55:09 PM   
LadyDollz


Posts: 2
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ruffnecksbabygir

i am probably the most disorganized person i have ever met! i............ does anyone else find it hard to keep consistent or is it just me? ........Any comments, advice, opinion, thoughts ???



You are not alone
It is not hopeless ...
and won't cost an arm and a leg

Nothin' a notebook, a pack of post-it-notes and a bag of chocolate kisses can't fix. (coffee optional)

step one
open notebook to the 2nd page. Put the day and dates at the top of the right hand pages.


Right hand side will document the things that got done ... etc
on the right hand side I also keep a record of

  • my weight
  • the foods I have eaten since I can very easily forget to eat
  • what time I got up, went to bed
  • who I talked to on the phone, IM, emailed

If I write it down in my notebook, I don't have to remember it <shakes head and rolls eyes at self>


The left hand side will hold post-it-notes of things to do.
When I think of something that I want/need to do, have to buy, appointment, errand etc ... I write it on a post-it-note and it gets put on the left hand side of the appropriate dated page.



Monday ... I start a running grocery list on a larger 5x7 post it note. I move the grocery list to the next day until I finally go to the grocery store. No wasted time trying to remember what is needed.

If I don't get something done from Monday, I simply move that post-it-note with the chore on it to the next page (next day)

If you are REALLY anal (ack-hem) you can even assign different color post it notes for high priority.

Hot Pink = do it today or die
soft blue = only I will notice if it doesn't get done.


Not only does this ninty-nine cent note book help me remember what to do and get done, it is also a journal of sorts.


Good Luck and remember ... let us know how you are doing ... an idea you have could very well be the thing that will help me the most


Lady Dollz


If you can not change your circumstance, change how you think of it.









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