The funny way things happen (Full Version)

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Lorelei115 -> The funny way things happen (2/19/2007 9:20:49 AM)

This is weird. I had someone contact me on myspace today that I haven't spoken to in over two years. I dated him once or twice all that time ago, and now he says he's been searching for me and wants to get back together. I'm just like.. zuh? He basically disappeared on me all that time ago, and suddenly wants to get back together?

Well, since this is the section I basically live in, I wanted all you all's opinions, if I may. Do you think he's serious, or just looking for a lay before he goes *poof* again? We did have a really good connection when we did date (which made his disappearance all the more confusing), and the letter he wrote me seems very sweet, well-intentioned and sincere, but I just don't know. I haven't yet gotten a reason why he disappeared on me last time, (I just got the email today) and I don't want to put any sort of investment (friendship or otherwise) into someone that is gonna vanish.

I have changed both my address and phone number in the time since I met him, so it's possible that he is telling the truth about having been looking for me. I dunno.




sensualmagirl -> RE: The funny way things happen (2/19/2007 9:31:12 AM)

Just my opinion...

Two years is enough time to have matured I would think (hope)... and not do the *poof* thing again.  People, to me, seem to panic when things start to get too "serious" and maybe that's all it was.

If I felt that he was sincere and I liked him before, I would give him another shot.  Maybe I am a massochist... I don't think so, but, I do give people a lot of chances in life... LOL... sometimes I get burnt, other times, I don't... Life is really a crap-shoot.

If I were you, I would take it very slow, because he has lost your trust, and needs to earn it again (make sure he knows this too).




KatyLied -> RE: The funny way things happen (2/19/2007 9:36:58 AM)

I would ask him:

what are your expectations?
why did you poof?


the question to ask yourself:
why should I consider this/him?
Unless he gives you a reason for his poof and you can determine he's over it, I wouldn't go there.




JerseyKrissi72 -> RE: The funny way things happen (2/19/2007 9:39:06 AM)



I have to agree with the above statement, she gives very good advice.




WyrdRich -> RE: The funny way things happen (2/19/2007 9:39:24 AM)

      This sort of thing comes up from time to time in the BA (Bastards Anonymous) meetings.  Without some serious evidence otherwise, assume he is looking for a zero-effort lay and then gone again.  He'll score extra points with his buddies if he can get you to pay for the room.

   (Yeah, meetings are supposed to be confidential, but hey, we're bastards.)




Lorelei115 -> RE: The funny way things happen (2/19/2007 9:43:00 AM)

*nods* Yeah, I do know I need to get a reason for it...

They say "once bitten twice shy" but like you, sens, I tend to be the kind of person that keeps giving chances. Sometimes people repay my trust by becoming trustworthy, and sometimes they don't.

I guess going into this with the knowledge that he may go "poof" again gives me an advantage, in that I'll know better than to invest too much in him emotionally until I know without a doubt that he can be trusted... And I am going to make it very clear from the get-go that this is a trial friendship only. He will get no play from me until he can prove himself. If he's just in it for a quick lay, that should take care of the problem right there.




Sternhand4 -> RE: The funny way things happen (2/19/2007 10:54:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

     This sort of thing comes up from time to time in the BA (Bastards Anonymous) meetings.  Without some serious evidence otherwise, assume he is looking for a zero-effort lay and then gone again.  He'll score extra points with his buddies if he can get you to pay for the room.

  (Yeah, meetings are supposed to be confidential, but hey, we're bastards.)


We are soooo yanking your membership card & decoder ring at the next meeting..  [sm=biggrin.gif]




WyrdRich -> RE: The funny way things happen (2/19/2007 11:16:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sternhand4

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

    This sort of thing comes up from time to time in the BA (Bastards Anonymous) meetings.  Without some serious evidence otherwise, assume he is looking for a zero-effort lay and then gone again.  He'll score extra points with his buddies if he can get you to pay for the room.

(Yeah, meetings are supposed to be confidential, but hey, we're bastards.)


We are soooo yanking your membership card & decoder ring at the next meeting..  [sm=biggrin.gif]




    The cookies sucked anyway.  And I've given up hope of ever getting higher than a 48 hour chip.




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