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Why do you call him Master? - 3/16/2005 5:37:10 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline 		Why do you call him Master? What does the term, "Master" mean to you?

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/16/2005 6:53:37 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		For us it just seems to be the term that fits within the lexicon of bdsm. I will call him by his name or refer to him by his name in mixed company or with friends. After all, at a bdsm event it gets pretty confusing/annoying when everyone starts saying "girl" "sir" and "master."

I call him "the Owner" through anonymous lists just because thats a good generic term that most people easily understand.

We have a M/s or O/p (owner/property) relationship, so the term master works.

(in reply to willing2serve)
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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/16/2005 8:57:22 PM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		Because that is how He refers to Himself within the context of our relationship.

Privately I am permitted to call him by his name.

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/16/2005 10:19:21 PM   
gretchen


Posts: 121
Joined: 3/8/2005
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		In my relationship, it seems like the words "master" and "slave" don´t really match.

We have such a nice way of calling each other (cunt, asshole, slut, fucker, cock sucker, etc, etc, etc...), and makes us feel the trust we have between us.

We don´t want to lose this at all. We know that relationship could turn too formal, if we start doing the "master and slave" name thing. It just doesn´t sound like us.

Refering to your dom, or boyfriend, or husband as "master" is a matter or choice.

But, if the person I´m with now (dominant), wants me to call him master every now and then, because it makes him feel happy, or powerful or magnificent...I won´t have doubts on doing it right away.


gretchen

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/16/2005 10:41:49 PM   
kyakitten


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		"Master" is a magic word.

It is a sign of respect, an acknowledgement that this person is worthy of my utmost respect and has been granted that.

It is a reminder to me of my commitment to submission to the one person I call by that name.

Also, it implies an ongoing, reciprocal relationship, whereas to me, "Dom" does not necessarily connote those same qualities.

Willing, you ask such thought-provoking questions!

< Message edited by kyakitten -- 10/5/2005 9:29:54 PM >

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/17/2005 4:12:38 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
I rarely call Demon 'Master' as it does not fit our dynamic, unless we are interacting with others who relate, say on this forum. It's just so easy to fall into the 'Master' 'sub' context... because in general, people do not agree on definitions and are not into much discussion because they prefere to 'use their way'. If someone asks specifically, then We of course, explain(like here).

He preferes the definition 'Lover'(Him) and 'Beloved'(Me). It implies a devotion and worship that will surpass other relationships. Occasionally I may respond with the phrase 'Master of me'... and He has various pet names He uses for me.
But Lover and Beloved work for us.

Peace and Love

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/17/2005 8:01:01 AM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

It is a sign of respect, an acknowledgement that this person is worthy of my utmost respect and has been granted that.

It is a reminder to me of my commitment to submission to the one person I call by that name.

Also, it implies an ongoing, reciprocal relationship, whereas to me, "Dom" does not necessarily connote those same qualities.

Willing, you ask such thought-provoking questions!


Thank you so very much for the compliment.


I agree with you, "Master" holds meaning to me, more than just being a term for a Dominant. It is a word of reverence, just as i too hold the term "collared" as sacred.

I appreciate everyone sharing their terminology of their dynamics, it's amazing how there can be so many facets of a M/s relationship.

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1



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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/17/2005 12:07:14 PM   
paganpet


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/29/2004
Status: offline 		I call him Master, Sir and Daddy because he encompasses all those things.

with him, I feel completely safe. I feel completely under control. I feel home.

I call him these things because he completes me.

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all those things that you taught me to fear... I've got them in my garden now and you're not welcome here.

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/17/2005 12:21:57 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I don't call him master because he doesn't like the term. Also, I've come to the conclution that, for me, terms like "slave" and "master' and even "dominant" and "submissive" are far too loaded for me.

When talking about my role I say "i belong to my partner" when talking about him he's generally "owner" in a context such as this forum. In life, he's 'love' and 'woogie' and 'boy' and 'Sir' and a thousand other things.

I like the term master in that it has a sense of finality to it "my master says thus n so" but it isn't applicable to our dynamic.

I agree, though, that the term 'collared' is sacred. It implies both a commitment and an acceptance of that commitment.

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/17/2005 1:04:03 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
Toyboy and I were discussing this last night.. Words do have meaning, and someone being someone's Dominant and their Mistress/Master is a very different thing. He tried to argue that if the feelings were the same, the words didn't matter. . but since words are how we communicate with each other, if you don't have a common definition, it really does matter.

Because toy turned down the offer to use the term Mistress with me some time ago, preferring to use the title "Ma'am", I feel I am not his Mistress. I am his Domme. He on the other hand feels I am his Mistress. I am not. A Mistress is something different. When he figures out why being a "Mistress" is special, perhaps he'll be offered the opportunity again. This doesn't mean I care any less about him. I still love him deeply. He just isn't "mine" in the way he would be if I were his Mistress. To me it is a "lesser" relationship, as kyakitten implied.

I've been Domme to many. I've offered to be someone's Mistress once.

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Beach Mystress
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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/18/2005 2:42:20 AM   
subgreg


Posts: 50
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline
My question would be, "What do you do if each of you has a different perception of the weight/meaning of a particular title?" In our relationship. Ma'am and I each have a different opinion on the weight of the title Mistress. For reasons I do not really know, I do not identify the word as having a special significance. Ma'am, on the other hand feels it is very special. Where my problem lies is in the fact that I know my feelings for Ma'am. I am completely and thoroughly in love with her, utterly devoted to her, respect her for her will and her mind, and feel like I belong to her body, mind and soul. I don't think any one term adequately describes how I feel for her. She says we cannot take the next step until I figure out why a Mistress is special. Until it has meaning for me, she feels she is not my Mistress, only my Domme. If I already feel for her the way a sub would feel for their Mistress, but don't see the word in itself critical to those feelings, what do I do?

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/18/2005 2:50:28 AM   
fencerpet19


Posts: 169
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline 		To me the term "Master" is synonymous with "teacher" or "mentor", but also expresses authority. When speaking to a Dom I generally use the term "Sir" out of respect, but when reffering to him I use the term "Master". I think it helps to illustrate our relationship a bit better than saying "Sir did this" or "Owner did that". "Master" just seems to encompass more meaning.

Definition: Mas-ter (n)
1) A man in a position of authority, for example, over a buisness, servants, or an animal
2) Somebody who has great skill in a particular area
3) Somebody or something controlling or influencing events or other things
4) A highly skilled person qualified to teach apprentices

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/18/2005 8:17:01 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Hmmm... very interesting greg.

I could not call anyone Master without them Owning. The same would be said for Mistress. The feelings one can have and the urge and need, may seem to be the same whatever word is used, but it isn't. Words do have specific meanings. Now, especially in BDSM, people do tend to take and twists words into the meaning that suits an individual. But words still have a specific meaning. To be a Master or Mistress of something implies Ownership. That the person has something that is unique to them. If they do not own fully, how can they be called such? One cannot call a Baker a Baker, unless He Bakes. Even if it is perceived that He Bakes by others, the person selling the cakes in a supermarket, is just the seller. To call the seller the baker, would be taking away from the job the actual baker themself does. The Baker bakes. Not sure if that makes sense, but its how I see it.

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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/18/2005 8:36:09 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		For me it's an orientation, like being bisexual.

I'm bisexual whether I'm having sex or not. I'm bisexual whether I'm a virgin or not. I'm bisexual whether I've only slept with men or women so far or not.

The external circumstances of my relationships are not what dictates my innate orientation. To me, I am oriented as a slave in relationships to be owned property. That's true whether I am owned at that particular time or not.


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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/18/2005 8:54:38 AM   
paganpet


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/29/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyakitten

"Master" is a magic word.

It is a sign of respect, an acknowledgement that this person is worthy of my utmost respect and has been granted that.

It is a reminder to me of my commitment to submission to the one person I call by that name.

Also, it implies an ongoing, reciprocal relationship, whereas to me, "Dom" does not necessarily connote those same qualities.

Willing, you ask such thought-provoking questions!

Liana



I think that is beautiful. I don't think I could have said that better. I share your feelings and, as I said, I call him Sir at times. I call him Master at times. I call him Daddy at times and he IS all those things at all times, but some more so than others at times. He tells me that he feels honored by all of them and knows what frame of mind I am in by which term I refer to him as. I do have the UTMOST respect for him.

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all those things that you taught me to fear... I've got them in my garden now and you're not welcome here.

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/18/2005 8:59:56 AM   
MistressWoulf


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Words do have power and meaning. How much power or meaning depends on the context and the people involved. I would never expect someone I just met to call me "Mistress" and I certainly wouldn't call them "mine" or slave, etc. I wouldn't even be adverse to using first names if we're just "shooting the breeze." Now if someone were trying to let me know they were interested in subbing for me, I'd prefer "Miss Woulf" or "Miss Jade" as a matter of respect. On forums like these, I'd prefer "Miss Jade" or "Miss Woulf" because this is a site specifically dealing with BDSM and I come to these forums as a Domme. But "Mistress" is something reserved for Tofu (who I am committed to in so many ways) and for that special woman wherever she may be in the future.

I was raised in the south and words like "Sir" or "Ma'am" are just part of the lexicon and are said out of respect. So, those words really don't bug me or make me feel uncomfortable (except when say a young child calls me "ma'am" in public. Makes me feel so old :)). Heck, I use "sir" and "ma'am" on a daily basis, but of course that's outside of the BDSM context.

I hope that made sense.

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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/18/2005 9:18:31 AM   
terah


Posts: 69
Joined: 12/17/2004
Status: offline 		I call him Master because he has mastered his life to his potential. He leads me to mine as well. He doesn't find fault in my learning but is patient in my discipline. He does not judge what I was but judges what I have becomes in his presence. I am not equal but I am able to stand along side him and reflect the best of his teaching and that in it's self is his confirmation if not reward for what he given to me an affirmation of strength and beauty in my submission.

He is not omni potent he is a man who understands that to yield come from the heart and mind.

(in reply to willing2serve)
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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/18/2005 1:38:34 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		I've noticed the Webster's dictionary definitions being used a fair bit on the boards lately, so I thought I would offer one of my own.

consider 'head'

Main Entry: head
Pronunciation: 'hed
Function: noun
1 : the division of the human body that contains the brain, the eyes, the ears, the nose, and the mouth; also : the corresponding anterior division of the body of various animals including all vertebrates, most arthropods, and many mollusks and worms
2 : HEADACHE
3 : a projection or extremity especially of an anatomical part: as a : the rounded proximal end of a long bone (as the humerus) b : the end of a muscle nearest the origin c : the anterior end of an invertebrate : SCOLEX
4 : the part of a boil, pimple, or abscess at which it is likely to break
5 : the end of a lipid molecule that consists of a polar group and is regarded as being opposite to the tail —head adjective


Source: Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

There's no mention of the use 'oral sex' in this case, but obviously it applies. Labels only carry the weight that they are given by the people involved. This is a double-edged sword. If 'Master' or 'Mistress' carries weight for one person in the couple, but not the other, a compromise is in order. Usually, it is the submissive who must 'give' in these compromises, though not always and certainly not if it woud be outside their boundries. A very good example might be a black female submissive, completely uncomfortable with the word 'Master' for cultural or historic reasons. A substitute could be 'Lord' or something else appropriate.

I truely believe that these words should only represent the feelings of the person involved. Too many relationships seem to be focused on the superficial over the substance. If Master is to have any meaning for me when said by a submissive, it must have the same meaning for her as well. If the concept can be stated, using another word, then I think it would be equally acceptable.

Stephan



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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/20/2005 3:15:01 PM   
bottominwa


Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		First and foremost Master is called Master, because He likes it...:)

But seriously, in this house it is used more in the Old english sense as "head of household" or "Lord". The dynamic We aspire to is more of a pledged service...like a liege to a Lord etc, etc etc.

In Gorean circles the girl refers to men Master designates as brethren as "Master" as an honorary and because it is cultural and when in Rome as They say.

sabrina King

House of King

(in reply to Voltare)
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RE: Why do you call him Master? - 3/21/2005 1:31:56 PM   
srahfox


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		I call him Master because when he is in control of me, I can think of no other thing to call him. The first time I called him that the word just popped out of my mouth. He did not ask or tell me to do so I simply did. I felt a reliese and rightness in it, and I found later so did he. When we are together casualy I call him by his name, we were 8 years together before we became what we are now. I call him Sir when we are in public and he has control of me. I could call no other by that term. All others would be Sir/Lord Mam/lady. Unless that person became a part of our house hold and was truely a co owner. But the simple answer is that I call him Master because my heart says I must and because it pleases hime.

(in reply to bottominwa)
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