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domtimothy46176 -> RE: Why do you call him Master? (3/21/2005 10:25:59 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: subgreg
My question would be, "What do you do if each of you has a different perception of the weight/meaning of a particular title?" In our relationship. Ma'am and I each have a different opinion on the weight of the title Mistress. For reasons I do not really know, I do not identify the word as having a special significance. Ma'am, on the other hand feels it is very special. Where my problem lies is in the fact that I know my feelings for Ma'am. I am completely and thoroughly in love with her, utterly devoted to her, respect her for her will and her mind, and feel like I belong to her body, mind and soul. I don't think any one term adequately describes how I feel for her. She says we cannot take the next step until I figure out why a Mistress is special. Until it has meaning for me, she feels she is not my Mistress, only my Domme. If I already feel for her the way a sub would feel for their Mistress, but don't see the word in itself critical to those feelings, what do I do?
If I were in your shoes, I think my goal would be to learn that difference and internalize it. "fake it till you make it" comes to mind but, depending on how your mind works may have less relevance for you personally.
My girl has difficulty with the words 'slave and master' becuase of the sociological baggage they carry. We generally use the terms 'master and 'servant' as a compromise. This is a departure from where she started, however. In the beginning, she couldn't understand why 'master' carried the weight it does with me. Afterall it's only a word, right? What she has come to realize, over the course of time, is that it speaks to so much of who and what we are. I am the Master of the House, literally and in the historical sense of the phrase. Because she recognizes that she is no longer capable of exercising her right to leave, that at some point her consent to remain became a moot point, I am, by definition, her master, in fact. 'Master' is a verbal recognition of my stature as owner.
In contrast, 'sir' may embody all the love, respect and surrender in her soul, in her eyes, but it doesn't convey her utter "belonging", at least not to my ears. I knew we had turned a corner the first time 'master' escaped her lips, especially when she consciously guarded against using it again for weeks afterwards. I knew she had come to recognize that she was owned. She tried to avoid saying it again because there was a part of her that wasn't willing to accept that she would surrender herself so totally.
There's a reason why Master/Mistress mean something just as there's a reason why someone of the submissive persuasion might be disinclined to use that term in a relationship. Perhaps the key is inside your own mind.
Timothy
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