RE: a satisfying beginning

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goodpet -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/20/2007 2:39:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael I want to make sure as hell they ..... aren't idiots or republicans, aren't religious nutjobs, ...... damn... one out of three is not too bad is it??????

myobedience -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/20/2007 10:15:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: What information would you desire that a woman gives in regards to herself? obedience, The only thing I'd want to know after being attracted to a profile and exchanging some basic information would be; what time and place can we meet. I wouldn't invest any time or effort if meeting wasn't a common goal. Finding out anything disclosing or personal can wait until we met. i am glad he is close, < 50 miles, and i do want to meet him and after this weekend, should i ask if we might? or do i wait for him to bring it up?

myobedience -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/20/2007 10:16:32 PM)
Shogun, yes thank you, it is most helpful. :)

myobedience -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/20/2007 10:23:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrazyC quote: ORIGINAL: myobedience Is there a question here.....? Yes. If you, as a Dom, begins this way as well, what are YOU looking for in regards to information and why? Mind you, there are no specific questions as of yet, of which i have been assured are coming. What does an opened ended letter provide you in regards to information versus asking specific questions. What information would you desire that a woman gives in regards to herself? Please no cynicism, i am serious about this question. Please no questions in regards to "well just ask him!" i think if you are this kind of Dom and start this way in approach, you will be able to give me some valuable insight. Thank you Question back....why should you worry what type of information this guys wants? Why not answer honestly and fully? That way you know you are letting him know the true you, and he can base his decision from that. Second question....are you also making sure you ask questions? You are feeling comfortable giving him all this information about yourself, but a relationship goes both way. The warm fuzzy of "how caring he is" does wear off, and it might help to know if there is more to him. i do answer fully and as truthfully as i can. i am not worrying.... it is just very differnt, so i was just wondering if other Doms did this and waht they might look for in open ended email. He always asks me to comment and i do write about as much as he does usaully. i do ask him questions back and like many doms doesnt seem to give much private information, but he has given me just enough to really want to know more. maybe that works both ways too?

WhiplashSmile -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/20/2007 10:24:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: myobedience He gives me freedom to respond the way i might or how i think i should. How magnanimous of him. He didn't GIVE that to you. You always had it. He just was hoping it would make you feel yummy and fuzzy inside by hearing it like that- which it seemed to do. Giving somebody who is not actually your sub/slave permission to speak, is really pointless and kind of a joke. I am honored at being addressed as Sir, if it naturally flows from free will. Sometimes subs/slaves say things hoping to make one feel yummy and fuzzy inside as well. Seduction can be a two way street!

myobedience -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/20/2007 10:29:27 PM)
Never did i think of our emails as him giving me permission to speak or not stepping up to the plate to share of myself, for the sake of myself. It is just a new style of communication for me. Actually i like it. i take my time, think through my answers. i think he can see things about me from my blog that he doesnt address in email cause we have a running converstion there too it seems. It helps me see what kind of mind he has as well.

DoctorDubious -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/20/2007 11:49:22 PM)
Have you seen the well-known New Yorker cartoon... .... on the internet, nobody knows you are a dog.... I have found the exact opposite, though my "sample size" is limited to a few people. Most everyone I met here, on CM, were real, genuine, and mostly just about as they presented themselves... The dudes and dudettes I met in some LA clubs have been less forthcumming.... and more image-oriented. Interesting.... DD but who really knows the deepest truth of that person next to you tonight, don't they contain multitudes?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/21/2007 7:42:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myobedience Never did i think of our emails as him giving me permission to speak or not stepping up to the plate to share of myself, for the sake of myself. It is just a new style of communication for me. Actually i like it. i take my time, think through my answers. i think he can see things about me from my blog that he doesnt address in email cause we have a running converstion there too it seems. It helps me see what kind of mind he has as well. Of course you like it, you want to feel controlled. You like the aura of a person who would grab it and show it to you. And even the most clueless can handle that level of seduction- and it's extremely effective. My issue is now you're asking US if we think YOU should decide to meet the person. When are you going to start simply making choices for yourself based on your good judgement? Asking us for advice is one thing, but my guess is you really have no clue and want us to give you the answers. That's not going to help you when you need to decide for yourself whether this person will be right for you.

Mercnbeth -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/21/2007 7:43:08 AM)
quote: i am glad he is close, < 50 miles, and i do want to meet him and after this weekend, should i ask if we might? or do i wait for him to bring it up? Yes, if he doesn't, you should bring it up. At <50 miles it shouldn't be a big inconvenience for either of you, especially if you pick a place half way. Make sure he make you feel safe. Set up a couple of safe calls. Get his home/work phone number and address and leave them with someone. I would be very suspicious if, being that close, he wasn't anxious to meet. Good luck~!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/21/2007 7:44:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile Giving somebody who is not actually your sub/slave permission to speak, is really pointless and kind of a joke. I am honored at being addressed as Sir, if it naturally flows from free will. Sometimes subs/slaves say things hoping to make one feel yummy and fuzzy inside as well. Seduction can be a two way street! No argument from me there!

myobedience -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/21/2007 3:47:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Of course you like it, you want to feel controlled. You like the aura of a person who would grab it and show it to you. And even the most clueless can handle that level of seduction- and it's extremely effective. My issue is now you're asking US if we think YOU should decide to meet the person. When are you going to start simply making choices for yourself based on your good judgement? Asking us for advice is one thing, but my guess is you really have no clue and want us to give you the answers. That's not going to help you when you need to decide for yourself whether this person will be right for you. LA, you have not got the foggiest clue. You think you know ALL ABOUT me from some postings, ones i give selective information on, ask a question (only because i want to hurry the first meet) and then you slam me and carve me up as if you are the almighty cynical, righteous and great gifter of information in your psycho eduation. Why? What causes this in you? Surely not me, you dont know me. So get a grip !! Get your emotional sadistic fun off on someone else. Dont mess with me. You havent a clue !!

myobedience -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/21/2007 3:59:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: i am glad he is close, < 50 miles, and i do want to meet him and after this weekend, should i ask if we might? or do i wait for him to bring it up? Yes, if he doesn't, you should bring it up. At <50 miles it shouldn't be a big inconvenience for either of you, especially if you pick a place half way. Make sure he make you feel safe. Set up a couple of safe calls. Get his home/work phone number and address and leave them with someone. I would be very suspicious if, being that close, he wasn't anxious to meet. Good luck~! Thank you M and B. i got that feeling in todays email. That he was as anxious as i. i have enough personal information about him that if I told my sister i was giong out with Tim (from so and so) i would have no need for a safe call. i took care of myself in Mexico and my cell works better here... *smiles. Actually, i have 2 other doms communicating with me as well and they are all into the sexual aspects, one very much like what i came from and dont want to go back to, so i mostly ignore him and he has pretty much stopped calling. The other wants to get into my pants after a nice dinner. NOT gonna happen. i do like Tim's pace and am in NO hurry. If it is meant to be, then there is time to do it all right. Haste makes waste and only makes me distrust even more. (Also from todays letter, he would be friggin proud of me for standing up to LA) i surely appreciate your help and kindness in doing so.... just gives me a much better taste in my mouth.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a satisfying beginning (2/21/2007 6:23:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myobedience (Also from todays letter, he would be friggin proud of me for standing up to LA) Then I'd think both of you need to learn the difference between standing up for yourself and a cyber defensive flame fit.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a satisfying beginning (3/2/2007 10:25:21 PM)
Wow My, just noticed your new sigline, is the guy you are taken with the same guy you started talking with around the 19th? How did things progress after the thread?

myobedience -> RE: a satisfying beginning (3/4/2007 4:52:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Wow My, just noticed your new sigline, is the guy you are taken with the same guy you started talking with around the 19th? How did things progress after the thread? semantics lovely LA semantics. i am taken ~ does not say i am collored...i dont believe in collars. i am taken ~ does not mean he has claimed me as his own ... instead of judging me from a high horse, ask what I mean? and dont forget, as if i need to tell you, that a signature line will back date itself to when i started this screen name...... so if i go and write, right now...what a figgin idot fake domineering wannabe he is...you'd say... dang that girl has no friggin clue... see the words i use do not mean the same to you... so leave me alone or kindly ask what the H e double hockey sticks i mean...please?

wandersalone -> RE: a satisfying beginning (3/4/2007 9:08:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myobedience quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross How did things progress after the thread? instead of judging me from a high horse, ask what I mean? My interpretation of LA's question was that she was asking you to fill her and us in on what has been happening with you and the dom first mentioned in your OP and how things have progressed which it sounds like they have.

myobedience -> RE: a satisfying beginning (3/4/2007 9:48:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wandersalone quote: ORIGINAL: myobedience quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross How did things progress after the thread? instead of judging me from a high horse, ask what I mean? My interpretation of LA's question was that she was asking you to fill her and us in on what has been happening with you and the dom first mentioned in your OP and how things have progressed which it sounds like they have. Thanks for interpreting it for me..... I really do apologize for finding LA so highly offensive ~ to me. Its got everything to do with me and she seems to know how to fry me imo http://www.collarchat.com/m_872216/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#872369 Which ends by saying ~~ I will need to tell you tho ~ a dominant male who needs to control compassionately, confidently, with integrity and honor cannot turn off his own personality. It is 24/7 for him. Thankfully, I believe one such as this has taken a great interest in me, and I am learning so much more than I ever did before. Thus my disclaimer.

obis -> RE: a satisfying beginning (3/4/2007 10:28:08 PM)
I'm never looking for "information", just a sense of personality. Do they write like an illiterate Hapsburg cousin, or is there charm/intelligence/humor in what they say? the specific details don't matter so much as seeing what details are important TO THEM -- if they only respond to sexual aspects of the conversation, i basically blow them off because that's not what I'm looking for. If we talk about the psychology of BDSM but they never display any interest in me as a person, I put them in the friend zone. If all they do is talk about themselves or their expectations, i can tell they're probably too much of a drama queen or terribly insecure or terribly egotistical. It's mostly about disqualifying the idiots or poseurs before making the effort to meet in person and see if there's chemistry.

wandersalone -> RE: a satisfying beginning (3/5/2007 12:24:55 AM)
I hadn't read your other post so thanks for putting the link in here. A satisfying begininning indeed. [:)]

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