RE: Showing Respect.

RE: Showing Respect. (Full Version)

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BigBeninLA -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/19/2005 3:08:14 PM)
quote: If looking for friends is stated, sure, then a well thought letter, with the written realisation that all is searched for is friends, fine... but if You specifically write NOT LOOKING PEOPLE WANTED ONLY FOR DISCUSSIONS AND FRIENDSHIP in big bold letters, that ones already Owned, married etc.... and you receive a mail saying 'I am discret'... or... 'I am looking for a sub to join myself and my alpha sub'... or 'Dom looking for girl'.... etc... that it is an unsolicited mail and a person is supposed to reply? Absolutely NOT. A solicitation for "friends" is NOT a solicitation to a barrage of email from HNGs seeking anything other than friends.

BeachMystress -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/24/2005 11:23:04 AM)
ok, I'm going to share a few of the emails I've gotten recently. My profile has as part of the first two paragraphs: "I do have a sub and am very attached to him. I plan to collar him in the near future. I am monogamous.. YES, my sub is my boyfriend. No, I'm not looking to cheat on him. No, I don't care how good looking you are and NO I do not want to watch you wank off on your cam or talk dirty to you via a chat program instead. I'm on this site to enjoy the message boards (forum) and to make friends." So there is no way someone is misunderstanding my intent. Yet I still get.. hi how are u mistress i like your profile if uliker mine this is my msn [email protected] or yahoo massenger [email protected] u can see my pic or web cam theire nb: i am ready to relocated :) ~~~~~~~~~ Hello beachMystress, how are you? I am looking for a mistress to serve, but i am new. I am intersted in many things, but first an online relationship with someone who is okay with someone new like me ~~~~~~~~~ I read your ad , very interesting, I am highy educated. I have nice personality and professional career. but at the same time, I am looking for a playful dominant woman , hopefully for a LTR, please let me know if you are interested ~~~~~~~~~ Hi my names xxxx I am 19 from San Diego, CA. I am 5'8, 120LBS, hazel eyes, light brown hair, and am looking for freinds into bdsm. I am new to the scence and prefer being a sub. I looking for a dom part time. I am going to collage right now so don't have to much time. I am not looking for any doms that want money from me but only to dom me in any way they see fit but I may have some objections to a few thing. Any way please message me back. ~~~~~~~~~ Hello, I wanted to see if you can do a session with me? ~~~~~~~~~ I have you tied flat on your back helpless to my touch. I decide to start at your feet by gently sucking on your toes and gently raking my fingers down your ticklish arches..You beg me to..((Keep the story going - Your turn)) Mark ~~~~~~~~~ LOL Do you like any Fun with cute subs like me?? I am very far away so just chatting :) ~~~~~~~~~ Hello Ma'am, I'm xxxx in San Luis Obispo, Ca. I'd like to be at your feet serving you. Please write me. Thank you. [email protected] ~~~~~~~~~ Would you consider allowing me to serve you ma'am? ~~~~~~~~~ Hello there, How are you? Well, My name is XXXX 22 yo from Indonesia. I'd like to be your real life slave/houseboy, Actually i have no experience at this subject but i'm willing to learn or do anything, Otherwise, i need a financially support.. So, i'm really looking forward to hearing you soon, Thank you for the time. Bye ~~~~~~~~~ u are so sexy ~~~~~~~~~ Care 2 own a 29 year old k9 bitch. I am very open minded and will serve in any manner you see fit. I will relocate and sign a slave contract for my owner. ~~~~~~~~~ I am very sincere seeking am Mistress to serve and would love to communicate with someone minded I wish to meet people with whom I can share a mutual respect, honesty, and candidness. People in the scene, in 'real-time. If you are interested please email to [email protected] or [email protected] ~~~~~~~~~ Considering the amount of dreck in people's inbox, there is a good chance they are fed up and not going to answer. Sometimes, things get overlooked because of the volume of short or idiotic mails. Also, if someone reads the mail and decides to come back later and answer it, it is easy to forget since CollarMe doesn't have a way of marking the ones you want to revisit.

SirKenin -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/24/2005 11:37:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BigBeninLA quote: If looking for friends is stated, sure, then a well thought letter, with the written realisation that all is searched for is friends, fine... but if You specifically write NOT LOOKING PEOPLE WANTED ONLY FOR DISCUSSIONS AND FRIENDSHIP in big bold letters, that ones already Owned, married etc.... and you receive a mail saying 'I am discret'... or... 'I am looking for a sub to join myself and my alpha sub'... or 'Dom looking for girl'.... etc... that it is an unsolicited mail and a person is supposed to reply? Absolutely NOT. A solicitation for "friends" is NOT a solicitation to a barrage of email from HNGs seeking anything other than friends. lol. That just reminded Me of something. I was getting several email messages before I changed My profile. Once I changed it to "I am currently not looking for anyone other than a friend. I do NOT cyber. I do NOT play cyber games. If you are into this, you have found the wrong person. If you wish to be My friend, which I always like, I would love to hear from you." I only got one more response. Now what does that tell you?

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/24/2005 12:28:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BigBeninLA I'm sorry, but "looking for friends" (or a Dom/me/Master/Mistress/sub/slave/whatever) on a personals site HAS to be a considered a solicitation. Or are they expecting potential friends to contact them via mental telepathy? Dude...it says "looking" for friends...maybe it means they want to be the ones who do the contacting. Maybe they like to "look" for friends in the chat rooms. Maybe they like to look for friends on the message boards. Whatever it means, it can not be considered a solicitation for email from strangers. Just in case you are unsure what a solicitation for email for stranges would look like, it would probably be something like the following: "Please send me email." If you send email to a stranger that does not have such a solicitation, it is spam. Taggard

perverseangelic -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/24/2005 12:44:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress I have you tied flat on your back helpless to my touch. I decide to start at your feet by gently sucking on your toes and gently raking my fingers down your ticklish arches..You beg me to..((Keep the story going - Your turn)) Mark HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA. I got that one! I guess he was fairly indiscriminating. I sent him back a note politely stating that my partner does not appreciate him sending me unsolicited pseudo-porn and that it might be wise in future to ask before sending something like that to people he's never spoken to before.

BigBeninLA -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/24/2005 7:43:27 PM)
quote: Dude...it says "looking" for friends...maybe it means they want to be the ones who do the contacting. Maybe they like to "look" for friends in the chat rooms. Maybe they like to look for friends on the message boards. Whatever it means, it can not be considered a solicitation for email from strangers. Just in case you are unsure what a solicitation for email for stranges would look like, it would probably be something like the following: "Please send me email." If you send email to a stranger that does not have such a solicitation, it is spam. Taggard And MAYBE it means they want to receive a polite email to start a friendship. We can all keep guessing whether one person's "just looking" means "let me do the looking," or "if you're looking too, send me an email," or we can just be reasonable and polite. If the polite response isn't wanted, a polite "No, thank you," is the appropriate response. If we want to get legalistic--an ad is a solicitation for offers, not an offer which may be immediately accepted; i.e., running an ad offering your car for sale, doesn't mean that you're required to sell it to anyone who wants it; they make an offer and you accept or reject it. Since one doesn't have to have an ad up at all to be the one who does the looking--you can turn it off and still send and receive email--there are just too many maybe's, so if it appears that the person is seeking to be contacted, even absent specific language like Taggard suggests, as long as it's polite, I think it's okay. ON THE OTHER HAND, the stuff that BeachMystress cut and pasted for our amusement is ABSOLUTELY WRONG! Frankly, it's appalling. One must offer respect before they have a right to receive it. Someone who sends that kind of trash to someone who doesn't specifically request it, or even worse, to someone like BeachMystress who specifically states it is NOT welcomed, is just plain rude. If you can't take the time to read the profile of the person you'd like to email and at least make a legitimate attempt to meet their stated criteria, you don't deserve a response to your email. I do note that BeachMystress indicates she's open to friendship, but doesn't say it's okay to email her. So, BeachMystress, if you've returned to read this, I'm willling to let you settle this little sub-disagreement over the definition of "unsolicited" between Taggard and myself. If someone is GENUINELY seeking a friendship, is it acceptable for them to POLITELY write you first rather than hope you'll read their profile (to which they may have now rushed to add "It's okay to email me" <chuckling>) and wait for you to write them? And Taggard...don't call me Dude. <grin>

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/24/2005 8:15:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BigBeninLA If the polite response isn't wanted, a polite "No thank you," is appropriate. It is also completely appropriate to ignore spam. quote: If we want to get legalistic--an ad is a solicitation for offers Which is why they call them profiles on the other side, not ads. quote: so if it appears that the person is seeking to be contacted, even absent specific language like Taggard suggests, as long as it's polite, I think it's okay. Dude, I think you are a bit confused. I never suggested there is anything wrong in sending unsolicited email. Just don't be offended when your spam is ignored. quote: And don't call me Dude. <grin> Sorry 'bout that...dude. smile Taggard

GddssBella -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/24/2005 8:25:08 PM)
Holas! quote: Care 2 own a 29 year old k9 bitch. I am very open minded and will serve in any manner you see fit. I will relocate and sign a slave contract for my owner. Beachie! Oh jeez... roflmao! I just got that very one today, hehe. Word for word, swear to heaven. Too funny! I don't know what's worse... how pathetic some of these "special individuals" are or the visual it conjures up. I could paint the picture for shits & giggles, but I tend to be much too graphic, lol. Here's a hint to all; top, dom/me, bottom, sub, slave..... Read a profile thoroughly. Most will state their requirements straight up. If you don't match, don't bother them. It's rude. A sincere compliment may be fine, but don't expect anything. Personally, I will thank someone without encouraging further communication. It ends there. No one is under any obligation to answer an email sent in discourtesy. Time constraints are another factor. I could rehash all the points but I won't. It's been done, ad inifinitum/nauseum. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, burned it, moved on, lol. Stay safe all, play nice, & share your toys w/ others..... [:D] Bella

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/24/2005 8:30:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GddssBella quote: Care 2 own a 29 year old k9 bitch. I am very open minded and will serve in any manner you see fit. I will relocate and sign a slave contract for my owner. Beachie! Oh jeez... roflmao! I just got that very one today, hehe. You Dominas have all the best offers...I would care 2 own a 29 year old k9 bitch...sounds kinda fun! But do they conatct me??? Nooooo! Taggard

MizSuz -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/24/2005 9:04:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty You Dominas have all the best offers...I would care 2 own a 29 year old k9 bitch...sounds kinda fun! But do they conatct me??? Nooooo! Taggard I used to have a 29ish bulldog. He was fun for a while but I suspect not your type. <grin>

ProtagonistLily -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/25/2005 7:20:30 AM)
quote: I'm sorry, but "looking for friends" (or a Dom/me/Master/Mistress/sub/slave/whatever) on a personals site HAS to be a considered a solicitation. Or are they expecting potential friends to contact them via mental telepathy? Oh come on already. So are you saying that if I say I'm interested in bondage on my profile it's ok for you to show up at my door with the rope? I'd suggest a little perspective here. Lily

BigBeninLA -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/25/2005 11:27:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily quote: I'm sorry, but "looking for friends" (or a Dom/me/Master/Mistress/sub/slave/whatever) on a personals site HAS to be a considered a solicitation. Or are they expecting potential friends to contact them via mental telepathy? Oh come on already. So are you saying that if I say I'm interested in bondage on my profile it's ok for you to show up at my door with the rope? I'd suggest a little perspective here. Lily Show up at your door? HELL NO! Send you an email saying they're interested in bondage too and asking if you'd like to talk about it? Absent something in your profile suggesting you're not interested in talking about it or otherwise shouldn't be contacted, why not? (Showing up at your door??? Who's blowing things out of perspective here? <chuckling>)

dixiedumpling -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/26/2005 9:23:19 AM)
I always answer, even if it's just to say, "No, thank you". However, my profile,even though it's changed over the months, has never provoked a mountain of email. Recently, I found several emails languishing in the "Bulk Mail" folder. I don't understand the purpose of this folder since it hid perfectly fine emails from me. They all got a note of apology for taking so long to read and answer.

domtimothy46176 -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/27/2005 1:10:58 PM)
I've writen less than a dozen unsolicited e-mails to submissives since January. Each was written only after determining from the submissive's own words that she was seeking one such as I. Of those, some profiles have been removed, some e-mails have yet to be read two months later and the remainder were read and I never received a response. C'est la vie, I suppose. I stand by my initial reaction. If you are, in fact, going to advertise for something, it's courtesy to answer those who offer that which you claim to be seeking. All other things being equal, it would be rude in person and it's rude online to simply ignore those who take the time to respond to a stated request. I'm not going to get into further debate about constitutes an advertisement, a stated request or any other semantics. We're all adults here, I hope, and I think any one of us can determine the difference between a generic profile and one that's actually seeking to connect with a partner. I also recognize the difficulty in seperating out those that are legitimate offers from those that are ill-written form letters. Again, I think as adults, we can recognize there is a discernable difference between the two. I can imagine the time it must take to read through a huge amount of mail, discarding that which is clearly inappropriate to get to the few that are, in fact, appropriate responses to one's search. I would, however, take the position that this is a difficulty that is entirely self-inflicted. Choosing an online forum in which to search for a partner is a double-edged sword. One increases the liklihood of finding someone suitable at the expense of making oneself a target for every horny fantasy player with a computer. This voluntary trade-off doesn't change the requirements of courteous interaction, however. For myself, those who eshew courtesy prove themselves unable to serve within my requirements for public deportment. I expect YMMV but I find this to be an easy equation. Some are better qualified to serve me, based on a mutual understanding of what constitues proper conduct. I don't expect everyone to share my views but neither do I feel compelled to alter my views to satisfy others. Those who feel differently are still wrong, according to my POV, of course. Luckily, for them, I have neither the ability nor the desire to require conformity from the masses. I don't mind pointing out how silly it is to argue courtesy, manners, morality, absolute right/wrong, however, while engaging in it myself. A little silliness is sometimes good for the soul. Timothy AKA LordKingMightyMouse "Here I come to save the daaaay!"

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/28/2005 11:55:34 AM)
I use the same approach I use on the telephone. Unless I have a listed/blocked number, I know anyone can just punch in a number and my phone will ring. Good for them. Now, whether I answer the phone, leave it to voicemail, return the call or whatever, is absolutely up to me. I have no obligation to them, and I have no grounds for being upset that someone would call my number when it's not blocked. So everyone's happy.

indydomme -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/29/2005 5:47:57 AM)
I have to agree with Taggard. If my profile doesn't say "email me" I don't want to hear it, and if I can tell someone hasnt' read my profile, I get really freaking annoyed. Now, that having been said, my profile does say email me, but it also refers people to a journal I keep that is very descriptive as to what I am looking for in a relationship, and I lay out specifically, right there in my profile, who should NOT email me. I love the emails from 50 year old guys in England (after my profile says no one past their early thirties, and preferrably a little close to me) telling me they want to lick my toes. Ugh. That kind of crap shouldn't be in the FIRST email you write to someone. And obviously these people don't read my profile or ignore it. Those people I don't reply to. And I don't consider it rude. I consider it throwing out the junk mail, and getting on with my life. Just my two cents. Miss Erin

jewlmali -> RE: Showing Respect. (3/29/2005 6:54:18 AM)
Hi if I get a polite mail will in genreally reply , if it is rude will not. To get to know persons are nice but ofcourse to become freinds whit all would be hard. Guess if you treat persons polite, normally you get polite treatet back. Not always but often. Whising you A/all a lovly day. jewlmali.[:)]

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