RE: Monogamy and Bisexuality (Full Version)

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Wildfleurs -> RE: Monogamy and Bisexuality (2/20/2007 9:31:32 AM)

I'm not convinced that monogamy is a hardwired genetic thing, but rather a strong preference that most people have (but to be fair I'm not convinced being gay is a hardwired genetic thing either).

I don't quite identify as monogamous, but I'm not really polyamorous either.  I guess I tend to identify these days as being as flexible as needed by my owner (he likes to play with other people sometimes and we've certainly done the tried and trite bringing another woman in for sexSMplayshtuff and will hopefully do it again in the future). 

I've found that the less that you (not you personally, but you in a universal sense of the word) stick hard and fast to the labels the smoother the path of submission is because many times flexibility is a very valuable skill to learn (even though it can be a difficult one to learn) in order to adapt to one's dominant.  I don't think it means that its easier to submit if you are bisexual and polyamorous, because I think thats just as much of an adherence to labels, but more the willingness to do acts and move past having to be a label.

C~



sugarcandy -> RE: Monogamy and Bisexuality (2/20/2007 10:20:22 AM)

I am sure one can be monogamous, bisexual AND be into BDSM and be happy and fullfilled.




Vendaval -> RE: Monogamy and Bisexuality (2/20/2007 10:30:48 AM)

In my case, I am both bisexual and polyamorous by Nature.

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl
So my question is....what if monogamy is inherent such as bisexuality (or being gay) is? 



adaddysgirl -> RE: Monogamy and Bisexuality (2/20/2007 10:38:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I can safely say at 27 that I am bisexual and polyamorous and never expect either of those to change for me.

Let's go have fun :)


It's kinda funny that at 27, i really had not even thought about what i was....i just was, i guess.  i mean, i was living vanilla then.  Just about everyone i knew was straight.  And when i dated, it was pretty much assumed it was monogamous (whether the guy might have secretly wished for something different or not, i don't know....that was never made known).  So i actually had not need to label myself then.
 
But when i got into online dating, that changed.  After the first 'How about a threesome baby?'....i made sure i put in my profile that i was straight and exclusive.  Of course that was the vanilla personals.
 
But here, i have found it even more of a need to label myself because there is such acceptable diversity that i try to be as clear as possible about who i am right up front.  i guess i've just wasted too much time with misunderstandings due to lack of clarity.
 
i always think young people in the lifestyle are so lucky to have found it when they did.  Hell, i was 43 when i first discovered its existence.  Really wish i had known sooner [8|]
 
DG
 
 



ravenairsprite -> RE: Monogamy and Bisexuality (2/20/2007 11:18:11 AM)

Well in my case I'm not monogamous and never could totally be I don't think. I've tried a couple times and well those just came out with one cheating on the other etc.

Most of my relationships have been open and/or polyamorous. For a very good reason. You can't cheat on someone if they already know about it. Another I'm bisexual and occassionally I absolutely crave to touch and or serve a woman as well. If I was in a monogamous relationship that'd be out the door.

Now I think that boundaries should be set and equality in treatment should be preserved. No one likes to feel ignored all the time. Plus if there is going to be more than one than ya need to have alone time with each.

So in essance for me it's just who I am. I can't say if it's genetic but I can say that I don't feel the need to explain what I feel is natural to me. I've had several people ask me how I do it. Well how does a lion have a pride full of females? How do fish just pick another of their species and mate to have babies? It comes naturally to them. Just as Polyamory,  Bisexuality and still being capable of devotion come naturally to me.

I really hope I made sense. Thanks for listening to my ramblings.



adaddysgirl -> RE: Monogamy and Bisexuality (2/20/2007 11:19:44 AM)

Wildfleurs,
 
Is this kind of along the lines of what Merc was saying?
 
DG



Celeste43 -> RE: Monogamy and Bisexuality (2/20/2007 12:29:50 PM)

Slight hijack, just because someone is gay or bi doesn't mean they automatically will have sex with every other person of their gender. And even bi's can be monogamous and only interested in one relationship at a time.

With that said, I'm a straight monogamous female. I didn't find this such an overwhelming handicap. He is still wistful because he's never had the opportunity to tie up two women at once but he's equally wistful that he never won the lottery. It isn't detrimental to him in any way. If he had been poly for years and knew he couldn't hack a one on one relationship, then we would have exchanged one conversation and that would have been that. He finds having me is more important than a one time three way fantasy come true.



Wildfleurs -> RE: Monogamy and Bisexuality (2/20/2007 7:13:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

Wildfleurs,
 
Is this kind of along the lines of what Merc was saying?
 
DG


Similar.  I didn't read the responses until I finished posting so I didn't realize that our posts would be in a similar vein.  In fact in reading his post I'd pretty much agree with everything he said.

C~



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