RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (Full Version)

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MadRabbit -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 3:40:22 PM)

Currently, I hold the lease on a townhouse and rent out the other 2 rooms via an add in the paper. This kind of crap is why I dont sign leases with people and do everything month to month.

I agree with all the advice, more or less. Wont do their dishes? They end up on the bed. Keep messing with the thermostat? You pay extra on the utility bill. Want to eat all the community food and not contribute money? It all gets locked up.

Its my house. My rules. My place. By agreeing to move in, they agree to respect my authority. Just like your Master has authority over you, I have authority over my roommates. Unfortanely, hes shirking his responsibilities rather than deal with the issues.

The basic attitude I take is "If you dont want to do your part, then you are telling me you dont want to live here." I am very patient and understanding, but too much bullshit and I will just give them their two weeks notice and find a new roommate. You tend to get a lot of "interesting people" when you rent out rooms via newspaper and I have gone threw a few of these "interesting people". They arent my submissives and I am not going to coddle, baby, or "train" adults who are at least a decade older than me.

My advice? Get rid of him and get some women to move in like I did. My life has been so much more peaceful =).



bastardandthewen -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 4:31:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl
I am not a doormat...


I beg to differ; clearly, you ARE the doormat.

Your "master" has told you that you are to serve him, NOT the roommate. Yet, you live in fear that if you do not clean up after the roommate, you will be tossed out on your ear- though, to be fair to your master, you do not make it clear wether this fear is born from him telling you so, or just a construct of your imagination.

You have a roommate who says "I don't feel comfortable with you cleaning up after me"...and then, when you insist he clean his shite up, he asks you "Aren't you the submissive"?

Further, you come here for advice and are given plenty. which you point-by-point discard as un-doable.

So clearly, you ARE the doormat. You are letting both men set you up for failure, as they both set impossible standards to maintain.

Do you know how people become doormats? They allow people to walk on them. Congrats!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

You don't want to know how grose this house was before I got here. ;)  (two singel men living together is icky)
 

No, a house with two grown single men in it is not gross or icky. But a house with two grown twats who are unable to accept responsibility for themselves apparently can be.

quote:

 I just want to know how to get this grown man to take resposabilaty for his own mess and not treat me like my only perpous in this house is to clean, cuz it's not.
 


Of course it is...you have proven this point to him for months now.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl
 I value my relationship with Master much more then weather I do the dishes or the roommate does.


It appears that you do not. If you DID value your relationship with your master you would be effectively communicating to him your inability to do your tasks as he required.  If you cannot effectively communicate basic needs to your master, but instead, are able to ask for help here...and then disregard the excellent advice you were given off hand without trying a thing...well its no wonder there is a problem!

But the problem is NOT the slob of a roommate. It is the fact that you and your master are unable to sucessfully negotiate and solve problems when they arise.

I wonder what your master would think of this thread, by the way?



Lashra -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 4:46:28 PM)

The roommate clearly doesn't respect you and its up to your Master to set things straight or find another roommate. I think its interesting a man of 38 years of age cannot clean up after himself. It sounds like Mommy failed to teach him that he isn't a little Prince and that all women aren't maids who will automatically clean up after him.

You may have to just stop cleaning up after him and if your Master inquires as to why, explain to him that you are owned by HIM not the roommate. Its his ball to play from there.

~Lashra



CassandraAlexis -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 5:38:29 PM)

I faintly remember my grandfather telling a story about my aunt acting similarly when she moved home from college. After getting sick of cleaning up after her, he warned her that if it wasnt done by the weekend she would lose it.  The following monday he moved all the dishes into a cabinet that he could put a padlock on and kept the key, then he gave her one plate, one dish, a set of silverware, a 2qt pot and a frypan, a serving spoon and spatula in a tote bag. Then anything of her stuff that wasnt put away got thrown out the window into the front yard for all the neighbors to see.

She decided to be stubborn and leave her stuff outside to show how mean he was and dirtied all the dishes and left them out. He took the dirties and put them IN her bed and then made it nicely and left her belongings outside. After finding yucky sheets, a few times she started washing her one set of dishes until he thought she could be responsible for the rest. However the stubbornness of both of them left her belongings on the lawn for about a week. After the next rain it all was ruined and he rented a dumpster for a weekend and threw it all out.

Does the roommate have places to put his belongings (A trunk or closet or cabinet or something). If not, then maybe a enclosed space to put his stuff might help. If so and he just isnt utilizing them it might be time for a whole house meeting thing, with all three of you. If that doesnt work might have to go the more drastic route like my grandfather.Tell him (the roommate) and put it in writing in an obvious place, and forewarn your Master of what you are going to do and why. We went through a similar notice/household meeting with one of our roommates at one point.



BabyNyla -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 5:44:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Damn, that roommate has it made, two slaves, one to give him a place to live and another to cook and clean for him.


 
LMAO ... why can't I get a deal like that?!



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 6:58:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekara

Greetings Shylah,

Have you tried talking to this room mate? Telling him how you feel.
Maybe try reminding him that he didnt want any help, and then tell him what D/s is all about. A submissive not being a doormat and that you cannot feel obligated to do his share as he doesnt own you.

slave kara (A)


I've talked to him and he knows what D/s is all about. He was a submissive in a polly relationship for about a year.

Shylah

You know what I find completely amazing..that the roommate was a submissive...and thus maybe knows how to skew the dynamics to his advantage...Tempting



mnottertail -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 7:11:41 PM)

OK, I aint mastering this situation, but I would make that little cocksucker my jail bitch---------

and ----

no, never mind



Evanesce -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 7:44:29 PM)

quote:

Master is reluctent to kick the roommate out compleatly because they are business partners. Not the best ecuses, but I can understand his reluctence.


Business must be really bad, then, if this 38-yr-old man can't afford his own 1-bedroom apartment!  The guy needs to go.




SusanofO -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 7:52:00 PM)

Tell him he's on probabtion as a room-mate, and if he doesn't get less slovenly habits within a week, he will need to find another place to live. I'd let him know that finding a new room-mate won't be a problem for you - but finding another place to live so quickly may pose a distinct problem for him. 
 
Let your Master know this is how you've decide to handle it, since the room-mate may be approaching hour Master about your "inhumane and uppity" attitude. I'd also let your Master know that you will count on him to follow through with being okay with booting the room-mate if he doesn't clean up his act in that time-frame, since your Master has left how to deal all on your shoulders.

I'd let your Master know you've reached the end of your rope, as fas as options to deal with this situation, and ask him what he prefers you do instead, if he protests your method is "too harsh."

I'd suggest to your Master (or you) put an ad in the local paper, or otherwise try to locate a new room-mate, if one is really neede for financial reasons (and as someone else mentioned, my contention is that females do tend to be cleaner and more concerned with house-keeping, although this isn't always the case).

Anyone 38 years old needs to clean up their own mess. That goes without saying. 
Geez - I've known how to keep my room clean since I was about 8 years old - there is no excuse for behavior like this - except inconsideration. Then again, I am kind of a neat freak, and I know this situation would drive me up a friggin' wall. 

Since he is a slob, and has no notions of decent house-keeping, you will probably need to be specific about what it is you want him to do, and what you don't want him to do - as in: "Please don't leave trash in the living room - take it to the waste-basket". "Please do your own dishes if you cook". "Please make your bed". Etc. 

I'd also let it be known you need him to do these things on a daily basis, since the notion that doing these things once a year, for example, might be okay will probably cross his mind. 

I'd say this is as respectful a way as possible, but I'd not mince words, either. Someone this insensitive to begin with isn't probably going to "get it" unless you beat them over the head with some consequence that will really, literally hit them where they live, hehe.    


I'd tell your Master how this room-mate makes you feel - that this living situation is really really bringing you down, ruining the effects of your own considerable efforts to keep the place looking decent, and making you feel dis-respected as a room-mate. See where it goes from there. Good luck.

- Susan



MasterKalif -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 9:26:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shylahgirl

lol... Alot of responces on here seem to be sugjesting that I don't do the dishes or clean up at all when it's the roommates mess... But like I said before, Master has put me incharge of cleanning the house (one of my many responsabilatys) If I just stop and get bitchy with Master by saying, "well there's no clean dishes so I didn't make dinner" I will end up out on my ass.
 
I am Master's servant/pet... when I am in service mode and I'm told to make dinner, I make dinner, doesn't matter if I have to clean all the dishes in the sink first it gets done.
 
That was the agreement when I became 24/7 and I will keep up my part of the agreement. Plus I really don't want to move back in with my mother. Cleanning up after the roomate was not part of the agreement, however... but if I don't do all the cleanning, nothing gets done.
 
Telling Master, "No.. and it's all his falt that I'm not going to do that" won't fly. I value my relationship with Master much more then weather I do the dishes or the roommate does. I just want to know how to get this grown man to take resposabilaty for his own mess and not treat me like my only perpous in this house is to clean, cuz it's not.
 
I am not a doormat, the only reason I've been taking care of everything is because if I don't then no one will and we'll have a mouse problem like we did the first few months that I became 24/7.
 
You don't want to know how grose this house was before I got here. ;)  (two singel men living together is icky)
 
Shylah 


Shylahgirl I am sure I am wasting my time, but you and your Master in this case are the slaves of the house....seems your Master is afraid of this guy...since he is paying the rent, it is his house and his problem, and the roomate his problem too, not yours. It sounds to me like you are being submissive to the roomate when your relationship is with your Master. Talk to him and explain the problem of the situation, remind him of what issues dirt and garbage brings. Frankly in my honest opinion, he needs to throw this roomate out specially if he has refused to pay rent....the only onw benefiting here is the roomate....he lives for free, they clean his room, he doesn't have to do anything, and the Master is afraid to throw him out.

Seems to me, you were so eager to "grow up" and leave home that you flew blindly into this situation and if you accepted it, its your own fault.. Furthermore, as you stated yourself, cleaning up after the roomate was not part of the agreement and as such they are not respecting your limits here.

I am sorry, but I am a man and I do not live "icky" nor with a mouse problem, neither now that I am living alone or when I had a roomate....and having a mouse problem didn't worry him?? sounds like there is a hygine problem, not just simply dirty dishes....someone with some self-respect would not live like that, just my personal opinion...

sounds like you should discuss this strongly, and if this is not to the standards you expected, you should reevaluate this living situation until it improves.




TypeAsub1 -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 10:34:03 PM)

Have your master tell him that anything that is left lying around and out of place will be put in the garbage and thrown out with the trash.  And do just that.  Once he begins seeing his precious clothes and other items being tossed into the garbage truck - gone forever.. he'll start picking his crap up.

Another option.  Take everything you find that is out of place and remove it and lock it up in a place he can't access.  Lock a cupboard or closet if necessary.  Tell the roommate that when he starts keeping a clean house he will have those items returned.  Keep picking up everythint that is out of place - even if it leaves him with nothing.  Eventually he'll get tired of not having stuff...



Bluebird -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 11:06:19 PM)

To the OP - Shylah - I looked at your profile - your master is seeking an additional woman for service?  You already have 3 people living in a small 1-bdrm house and the dynamics are strained.  You don't suppose that adding another to the mix will cause even more tension for you? 
 
Good luck, is all I can say.

edited to add - you know, Salt Lake City isn't that far from Vegas.  If you feel compelled to tend house, hell, come visit me & clean MY house - at least I will appreciate it! [:D]



BitaTruble -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/20/2007 11:08:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TypeAsub1

Have your master tell him that anything that is left lying around and out of place will be put in the garbage and thrown out with the trash.  And do just that.  Once he begins seeing his precious clothes and other items being tossed into the garbage truck - gone forever.. he'll start picking his crap up.


You can't, legally, discard someone's things just because they are a slob any more than you can take someone's car and set it on fire because you don't like where they parked. She would be liable for the cost of replacing the items at whatever current value they held and could be sued in small claims court .. and she'd lose.

quote:

Another option.  Take everything you find that is out of place and remove it and lock it up in a place he can't access.  Lock a cupboard or closet if necessary.  Tell the roommate that when he starts keeping a clean house he will have those items returned.  Keep picking up everythint that is out of place - even if it leaves him with nothing.  Eventually he'll get tired of not having stuff...


She can't legally do that either. What she can do, is give him a notice of a rental increase and then hire a maid to pick up after the guy with the increased revenue so she doesn't incur any out of pocket expenses. She can also evict the roommate with the proper notice and that eviction can be without cause in most states. If they have a lease/rental agreement, the Master can also sue for back rent, but must file within a specific time frame if he wishes to collect on the money owed. I've already suggested she hire a maid, but I don't know if she saw it. It seems a reasonable solution to the problem.

Celeste



juliaoceania -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/21/2007 1:15:42 AM)

FR

After reading almost every post I have come to the conclusion that this master has trouble setting boundaries of behavior with his own friends, and frankly that would be a huge turn off for me.

I would ask for guidance on how he wanted me to deal with it, and work from there. If he did not give me  a way to deal with the problem that I knew would be successful, well I would probably go live with my mom. What I am reading on this thread is being set up to fail.. there are very few things in life that piss me off, even less that someone I have pledged myself to could do to piss me off, but I can be pissed off even at a dom.. do not set me up to fail.. I tend to get really pissed off about that unless there is some deeper lesson for me in it.

This young lady I work with told me a story about her other job, he manager gave her more responsibility without giving her a title or more pay. Her coworkers think she is a bitch, and she is making minimum wage at this job.... this so sounds like that situation. You have all the responsibility without any of the tools to get the job done... and that hun is being set up to fail



crouchingtigress -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/21/2007 7:34:50 AM)

you seem to be living in a home where two men are disregarding your feelings, where the energies of all three people create drama and tension, where you are powerless, and where you are feeling  used.

when humans set up their lives, they often do it unconsciously to mirror other situations they have previously lived...one because it is what they know and therefore comfortable, and two because there is a subconsious desire to "do it right this time"

you may want to look at your past for situations where men held power in your life and your feelings were ignored, or when you were forced into a mothering/nagging role because you had to change other people, or if tension and drama is something that you dont know how to live with out.

your master is dropping the ball according to me and my values....but that really does not matter....what does matter is: is he dropping the ball according to you?
is that ok with you? and why did you create a situation where you are being set up to fail and to suffer no matter what you do?

whine and nag= suffering
do nothing =suffering
clean and be a  martyr=suffering
ask your master to be a master and make changes=suffering
be the obedient and quite lil slave=suffering

some folks equate suffering, martyrdom, and mothering with "happiness" or at least equalibribium....if this is you (and i think it is) look into your self and the role models of your childhood, to see where this template of adult womanhood may have come from.




azzmaster -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/21/2007 8:03:46 AM)

u should let master handle this. i have a friend who's a dom who sends his sub to clean my house once a week. she doesn't mouth off about it and i get to use her while she is in my crib as well. of course all subs don't know their place



Sinergy -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/21/2007 2:41:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

OK, I aint mastering this situation, but I would make that little cocksucker my jail bitch---------

and ----

no, never mind



I have lived with slobs before.

It got added to my hard limit list when I lost 165 pounds of screaming, obnoxious, slovenly, and ugly fat in 2000.

Sinergy

p.s.  Maybe I am sharing too much.



agirl -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/21/2007 3:08:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy





I have lived with slobs before.

It got added to my hard limit list when I lost 165 pounds of screaming, obnoxious, slovenly, and ugly fat in 2000.

Sinergy

p.s.  Maybe I am sharing too much.


Is it ever wrong to share a diet?

agirl





agirl -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/21/2007 3:16:54 PM)

If M told me to *get *so and so* to clean his room*........ he'd know whether that was able to happen. What's the point in asking you to take control of something that even he can't manage?

Despite the many awkward aspects to your plight.........If M couldn't master something that basic himself, it would be bloody daft to expect me to.

agirl



SusanofO -> RE: Master's roommate needs to do his shear of the house work? (2/21/2007 3:23:59 PM)

I agree - I think it's basically chickensh_ for the M to expect his submissive to "just deal with it." I mean, he can't, why would he think she'd be able to do better?

- Susan 



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