Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene?

Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (Full Version)

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Melynn -> Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/21/2007 9:06:38 PM)
Would just like to get acquainted with a few people in the community and get some advice on how to conduct myself as an aspiring sub.

FukinTroll -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/21/2007 9:09:07 PM)
Post like you mean it. Don't get biligerant. If you don't like the topic don't read it. If you have questions e-mail me on the other side.

Melynn -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/21/2007 9:10:27 PM)
Haha, thank you.

SimplyMichael -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/21/2007 9:11:42 PM)
explore

azzmaster -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/21/2007 9:17:44 PM)
if anyone on here gives u a hard time simply ignor them.

ServiceNeeded -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/21/2007 9:21:29 PM)
Don't feel like you have to "sub" to everyone that demands it. You can choose to address in formal speach, but unless it is someone you are actually "playing with" -- you are both just people and they should respect you. I think a common mistake of those new that want to sub is subbing for people that use the term "dominant" to be agressive in disrespectful/hurtful ways. You should "conduct yourself" in a normal, respectful, open way untill you have agreed to play together and then the domme/dom can help tell you how they would like you to conduct yourself with them personally/etc. To learn more there are PLenty of good books on the subject. Check out amazon.com and throw in some "BDSM" "submissive" "loving dominant" type search terms and you will come up with material and possibly a few lists that may direct you well. Also do a google search for "bdsm ___ your city/state____ " and see if there are any list serve groups or webpages for groups in your area. Peace! [:D]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/21/2007 9:21:47 PM)
Same as you would in any vanilla situation. Unless you have horrid manners- then pretend to be someone with good manners. My advice for Novice Female Submissives Newbie! At a loss I'm a new domme seeking advice Does a slave also have to be a fool? sub: totally new concept Questions for other newbies The Journey Starting Out New to the Life, Help How to deal? Request for Advice Advice please: Relationships, bdsm, love and boundaries First time sub seeking you advice- how to find the right master? First time sub seeking advice a newbie seeking advice How can I be a great sub? Brand new life Help needed Emotional Rollercoaster Welcoming newbies New to this Just a few questions Do's and Dont's

CrazyC -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/21/2007 9:32:19 PM)
learn, have fun, make mistakes, fix them, learn more.... And when someone seems to be judging you....remember they only hear part of the story and that your the only one who can make to decision.

Domrob -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/22/2007 5:09:04 AM)
Welcome to the scene. Not all subs are the same maybe no two subs are the same. If you are a sub not a slave you will have limits. Think what they are and list them. Do you want just play sessions,do you want help with weight smoking or other problems. Do you want a Dom who will be part of your social life. Do you want your Dom to be your lover. In short what submission do you offer. Be clear what you want and what you can give. Naturally this will change over time but tell it like it is now.

DomMeinCT -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/22/2007 7:59:49 AM)
Make friends (on the boards) and in RL with others who are trustworthy and not just interested in trying to dominate you. There is some excellent advice available from those more knowledgeable and willing to share it here.

touchthesky -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/22/2007 8:37:44 AM)
just be humble and talk to alot of different people. there are Doms that will try to take advantage of your newness so don't get collared right away, take your time.

TheShadows -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/22/2007 10:05:07 AM)
My favorite advice was always..."Take what you want/like, and leave the rest." ~MrsShadows~

mstrjx -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/22/2007 11:48:07 AM)
I think there might have been a couple of well-intentioned, but opposite (-reading) bits of advice. Let me try to elaborate. It might seem natural to behave in a deferential (submissive) manner towards prospective doms. If you assume that everyone is well-meaning and well-intentioned, it is possible to get hurt. Remember that it is your life/safety/sanity at stake, not theirs. So while being 'humble' (from above) isn't necessarily bad advice, understand that you don't owe anyone anything until YOU decide who and when and how that happens. You are a free agent until you agree not to be. Assess your 'offers' and let your gut instincts guide you. If you are in public where doms and subs are about (such as a munch) watch how other people carry out their business. Not everyone will follow a certain protocol, but you might get a certain idea of what style works for you knowing yourself as you do. Hope this helps. Jeff

Kinkypupper -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/22/2007 12:49:55 PM)
Just because you may feel you are a sub/switch do NOT ever feel that you need to be someones doormat, Find out about local events and munches, you may find that you fit in very well.

Melynn -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/22/2007 7:04:15 PM)
Thanks guys. You've all given me great advice and I appreciate it. I'm excited about getting more into S&M. Honestly the most I've done is spank and be spanked - but the other aspects are more and more appealing the more I read... So it's great to have an online community as well as a local one to help me learn more.

juliaoceania -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (2/22/2007 7:29:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Melynn Would just like to get acquainted with a few people in the community and get some advice on how to conduct myself as an aspiring sub. As a submissive, I would tend to say email people local to you that may know of what is happening in your area, and then attend munches to meet others like yourself.

Rockwell -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (8/15/2007 11:21:15 PM)
Switching is tough. I learned my true being is to live a a slave. It has been humbling but rewarding. be yourself. always.

becca333 -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (8/16/2007 5:05:00 AM)
Have fun. And don't trust anyone until you really know them.

violetaelf -> RE: Advice for a new sub/switch interested in the scene? (8/16/2007 8:04:17 AM)
Explore, learn, read, talk to people, don't be afraid to ask questions... But most importantly , Use your mind and trust your gut feeling ! Welcome, and good luck! :) 'violet'

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