When is a newbie no longer a newbie?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

When is a newbie no longer a newbie?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> When is a newbie no longer a newbie?

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 5:10:26 PM

subdelicious

Posts: 13
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline

Several have mentioned to me that i sound experienced. i've read a lot and learned a lot about the lifestyle and myself. i've learned from this forum, as well as, chatting with others. i feel that i have a good grasp on what i am interested in and what i am not interested in.

i just do not have any real time experience yet.

does that mean i am more knowledgeable than a newbie and should consider myself experienced? am i misrepresenting myself? when is a newbie no longer a newbie?

maybe it's time to change my profile.

Post #: 1

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 5:24:24 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subdelicious
Several have mentioned to me that i sound experienced. i've read a lot and learned a lot about the lifestyle and myself. i've learned from this forum, as well as, chatting with others. i feel that i have a good grasp on what i am interested in and what i am not interested in.

i just do not have any real time experience yet.

does that mean i am more knowledgeable than a newbie and should consider myself experienced? am i misrepresenting myself? when is a newbie no longer a newbie?

maybe it's time to change my profile.

You're very experienced and educated in the theory of it all.

Newbie is definitely up to you to decide your place. Perhaps saying "No real time yet, but lots of background" will suffice.

No matter what labels a person puts out there, we all have to explain it in detail when we strike conversation.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to subdelicious)

Post #: 2

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 5:27:14 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

The quick answer is when you blow me, and I say its a spring breeze.

Hope this is helpful.
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 3

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 5:27:21 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Depends on what you are talking about. I don't know anything about needle play, I would consider myself a newbie to flame play and while I don't consider myself an old hat to anything yet (still too little experience) I wouldn't call myself new to floggers, spankings, violet wands, etc.

If you want to change your profile to reflect what you know go for it. The problem is that knowing something and actually experiencing it are quite different and provide you with different views on things. For example: I always knew what a spanking was, most everybody does. I know how it felt as a child, but until a proper one was given to me I had no idea how pleasurable it could be. If someone had asked me before then about spankings, I might have advised against it. Of course I couldn't imagine who would have asked me about anything BDSM then, but hey. You never know!

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 2/22/2007 5:28:12 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to subdelicious)

Post #: 4

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 5:49:52 PM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

He dips His lid,

L/A said it well.

It may be that you were like myself, and many others upon entering BDSM that is;

Your thoughts and your actual Lifestyle are in snyc with the ethics behind BDSM.

For example, lots of Dom/mes can hold a sub's hair, say sweet dominating pleasures but it is the 'experienced in life experiences' that can communicate this in 'presence' not by simply resorting to the use of words. I believe this is why I was offered so much assistance by Real-life Doms when I began getting out. The rest is leaps and bounds.

I must admit I was surprised by your initial post as it so clearly speaks of quite an extreme end of BDSM that is difficult to understand.

Having a slave,sub does not mean they are less than you- you are meeting their 'base' needs just as they are for you- otherwise this 'dynamic' that is spoken about is fantastic dribble where you will never find what others speak of.

Seeing/observing others in unison at munches/play teaches more in minutes that weeks or (possibly more) can do in months.

Honesty to yourself n' others- plus willingness to improve yourself are(what I believe) essential ingredients to furthering yourself, not just in 'Lifestyle' but in all areas of your life.

Go Girl Go!

Dips His lid- departs

< Message edited by Driver1961 -- 2/22/2007 6:15:52 PM >

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 5

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 6:13:09 PM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Sorry, I missed a huge point,

If you keep 'posting' you'll become twisted, evil (I like) and deranged. Deranged is impressive but could all be theory!

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to Driver1961)

Post #: 6

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 6:15:27 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

i think it's really largely self-defined. i'm new to some things, and not new to others...i consider myself somewhat experienced at 24/7 d/s, but fairly new to a lot of s/m techniques, and completely uneducated about public play, etc. a lot of people will be more experienced in some areas than others. i think having some real-time experience is necessary just to make sure that you click with the theoretical experience you have, but reading and talking it out is very important.

(in reply to Driver1961)

Post #: 7

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 6:50:32 PM

CandleInTheWind

Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

i concider myself to be a newbie...probably becasue i never cease to be surprised and each day I learn someting new abotu some new kind of activity or some new philosophy...lthough i am nearly 41 years old I also concider myself to be a girl.

so whwn it comes to making a determination about newbie status....i believe that i shall always feel like a newbie...I feel that this little lady will alwasy feel a need to know more and always feel that i am no where near an expert in most things BDSM related....

if you wisht o discuss anyting relaed to maernal/child or hospice nursing then I am not a newbie...butpretty much nearly everything else in the world im a newbie in life! and that is mearly my look at things

red

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 8

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 7:38:47 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subdelicious

Several have mentioned to me that i sound experienced. i've read a lot and learned a lot about the lifestyle and myself. i've learned from this forum, as well as, chatting with others. i feel that i have a good grasp on what i am interested in and what i am not interested in.

i just do not have any real time experience yet.

does that mean i am more knowledgeable than a newbie and should consider myself experienced? am i misrepresenting myself? when is a newbie no longer a newbie?

maybe it's time to change my profile.

I was a novice for 2 years after I fully discovered my orientation toward submissiveness. I count this time as the time I knew there was more than a sexual element to my submissiveness and I began to research and read about what this meant.

I talked with a dominant over this time, we did meet in real life also. I did not consider myself a novice after that relationship was over because basically I not only learned all I could about this intellectually, but I also had a real relationship that involved D/s as a core aspect to it.

I have been seeing my Daddy for almost 10 months, and I am only counting from the time we met in the real world, not the time we spent getting to know each other online. I still consider myself to be a newbie. I do not know when I will feel I am not one to be honest. I know there are some people that claim years of experience that I have not much respect for, and others that have very little that I have a world of respect for. I do not think it is bad to be a newbie, nor do I think that this means that a newbie has no insight and wisdom to bring to relationships and to discourse.

Hope that my experience was helpful

Edited to add that I started investigating BDSM when I was 35 and I will be 39 next month, and still feel like a noob

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/22/2007 8:38:51 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to subdelicious)

Post #: 9

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 7:44:16 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline

I'm an old sub / new slave.

Ok ... so now the question is ... how old is old?

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 7:54:46 PM

aurora31

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I have been involved in this lifestyle r/t for two yrs now. I have tons of play experience and tend to play to the extremes and on the edge. Yet I still consider myself a reletive newbie. I have just recently entered my first 24/7 M/s relationship. And although I had read lots and took the time to know myself and to educate myself. Nothing could of prepared me for the reality of a 24/7 M/s relationship. It is so much harder then I though it would be but it is also way more rewarding then I ever thought possible.

aurora

< Message edited by aurora31 -- 2/22/2007 7:55:55 PM >

(in reply to slaveish)

Post #: 11

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 9:20:55 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I loved this question.

I have read a tremendous amount (even for me) about various bdsm practices (but certainly not all of them), but I've only had one real-life bdsm relationship, for a little over a year, and it consisted mostly of spanking, and having belts and straps used on me. There is so much I've never done in real-time, that I still consider myself a (relative) "Newbie."

But I have read a lot, and seem interested in a tremendous variety of stuff (more than some who've been doing "real-life" stuff for years, maybe) so - whatever. I think it's a label, and if its relevant, it's probably only really relevant to your partner (or could-be partner).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 2/22/2007 9:41:07 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to aurora31)

Post #: 12

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 9:36:17 PM

LaMspeach

Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subdelicious
when is a newbie no longer a newbie?

She is no longer a newbie after she has fucked LaM.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"

(in reply to subdelicious)

Post #: 13

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 9:40:46 PM

mynded

Posts: 137
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline

Glad to hear I'm not the only *newbie* around here. Thanks for sharing.
Signed,
Still waiting for my LaM. (not yours)

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 14

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/22/2007 9:54:13 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

after 4 yrs of "discovering" this side to me, i still consider myself as a newbie because my 2 former Masters never took it upon themselves to mold and shape me like Daddy is currently doing today. it was more like a vanilla kinky sex than having a real D/s relationship. Yet, He's not a bit surprised that after 6months i'm very eager to learn more about me and my submissiveness.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to mynded)

Post #: 15

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/23/2007 2:51:53 AM

BreatheinToMe

Posts: 58
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

i think it's really largely self-defined. i'm new to some things, and not new to others...i consider myself somewhat experienced at 24/7 d/s, but fairly new to a lot of s/m techniques, and completely uneducated about public play, etc. a lot of people will be more experienced in some areas than others. i think having some real-time experience is necessary just to make sure that you click with the theoretical experience you have, but reading and talking it out is very important.

I agree totally on your description, that is how I feel too. Add to the confusion, if I did not grow, in practice,to the relationship. Perhaps I did the same limited service to my Dominant. But it was an extended period of time....we all have different experiences.
Breathe

(in reply to hisannabelle)

Post #: 16

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/23/2007 6:42:30 AM

sillygirl09

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

I think we are probably all "newbies" at certain experiences. However, I don't think I'd refer to myself as experienced until I'd had some real time experience with a dominant. I am a born submissive I imagined it since I was a little girl and fantasized about it my entire life and read everything I could get my hands on but when I actually had my first experience I learned so much that I would have never known from reading.

(in reply to subdelicious)

Post #: 17

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/23/2007 10:44:58 AM

SirDominic

Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Newbie is such a generic term, and like most terms in the lifestyle, you can rarely find two people who can agree what it means. To my way of thinking, a newbie is someone with no experience, theoretical or practical.

Someone who has taken the time, like you, to do a lot of reading and research is not a newbie by my standards. They may be lacking in practical experience, but their knowledge base is extensive. I think we need a new term none of us can agree on. How 'bout UberNewbie?!?!?!?

Hope that helps!

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to sillygirl09)

Post #: 18

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/23/2007 12:17:59 PM

moki1984

Posts: 274
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline

i have read a lot and talked to people but my experience is low...so i consider it like we have a college degree, but we just haven't gotten hired yet haha

(in reply to SirDominic)

Post #: 19

RE: When is a newbie no longer a newbie? - 2/23/2007 12:59:54 PM

TrueCalling

Posts: 97
Joined: 1/28/2005
Status: offline

'People' say you sound relatively experienced and you think you should change your profile/drop the 'newbie' status. Titles and terms are just that, such as a sub calling herself a slave, so as to better 'fit in' or to appear more attractive to dominant men. Whatever title/term you choose, the important thing is that it reflects honesty. A sincere, dominant man will always appreciate it, as will you.

Always and all ways,
colleen

< Message edited by TrueCalling -- 2/23/2007 1:00:32 PM >

(in reply to moki1984)

Post #: 20

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> When is a newbie no longer a newbie?

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094