|
Mustardseed -> RE: Demanding Subs!!! (2/23/2007 5:11:49 AM)
|
People have hard limits for any number of reasons: past trauma, physical inability, phobia and just flat-out personal distate for an activity. While it might take longer for these people to find a match, once they do they should be pretty much set.
I went to see a couple of Midori workshops this past weekend. (She claims to detest the long checklists that really don't tell her much about a person, bore her to tears and make her eyes blur -- she'd rather read a written introduction that was catered to her.) One of her statements that I loved was to ask, "What are your hard limits tonight?"
While it hasn't been my experience that her general metric is accurate -- that hard limits tend to last about 6 months -- I think it's a good question to keep in mind. In the small circle in which I play, I've certainly seen people turn "I would never ..." into "Well, yeah ... once I realized I could do it this way, I got into it." Not everyone I know, and certainly not with every hard limit they had ... but it's been known to happen.
I suspect that a demanding sub is doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing: protecting themsevles emotionally, physically and mentally for their current or future dominant. If there's something they know that they just can't handle, they're likely not going to advertise to any random browser that a certain activity might be okay if they were properly persuaded. Unless, in my experience, they're either desperate or have really bad boundaries.
The nice thing about the checklists is that they're also doing what they're supposed to be doing: narrowing down the playing field for everyone so that they have a chance to find their ideal partners. You're not the ideal dom for these submissives, and they're not the ideal subs for you. Now you know.
|
|
|
|
