Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction

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Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/22/2007 9:57:07 PM

Termyn8or

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Whaddya think of this ?

It went something like this:

"Once together, your fulfillment is important to me. And I will never say it again. You will say it to me, and my nod will be the confirmation".

It was something like that.

Here is one possible scenario, the nod means to come to me. Well one day she sees me nod and comes while doing the dishes. Leaves the water running and then gets up and turns it off.

That earns her a swat. Not because she cost me precious pennies in the water bill, but because she cost me precious seconds with her. If not a swat, something.

If one is a sub, don't they need some type of punishment sometimes ? See I am a switch, but I am agreeing to dominate like 90% of the time.

I have topped, but I am a bit of a newbie to real domination.

What should I do first, after the preliminaries, like getting to know one another a bit. Should I go straight to a verbal type domination, or setting that up, like by giving rules ? Or should I throw her into some very light bondage and see how she takes to it ? (or both ?)

I don't know, that's why I ask you. Thanks for anything helpful.

T

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/22/2007 10:00:50 PM

Kinkypupper

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Sounds way to "not reality" and more fantasy to me

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/22/2007 10:07:52 PM

Termyn8or

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No actually the original question, I guess deals with what a Dom will not say. Please for example.

I went off on a real tangent, yes, all the other stuff is just supposing.

But I had another valid question toward the end, what to do first. I mean at first do I get strict, or what ?

Yes, the basic questions weren't fantasy, but the other stuff was.

I do want to train her right you know.

T

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/22/2007 10:43:12 PM

SimplyMichael

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If you train her with the things I tell you, she is mine not yours. What is it YOU want?

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/22/2007 10:44:50 PM

touchthesky

Posts: 121
Joined: 1/27/2007
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you really need to have an inate sense of this or you might ask yourself if your cut out for the lifestyle. we subs ferret out weakness in a Dom like lightening

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/22/2007 11:04:32 PM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

you really need to have an inate sense of this or you might ask yourself if your cut out for the lifestyle.

I never had an "innate sense of this" and I still don't.

quote:

we subs ferret out weakness in a Dom like lightening

Oh the joys your partners must have

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/22/2007 11:09:46 PM

emdoub

Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
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It depends. Do you wanna act like a dom, or be a dom?

Being a dominant isn't about how you do things - it's about why you do things.

Do you do things to make them hot? Do you do things that you think they'll like? Do you do things that'll convince them that you're a dom? If so, you're not a dom - you're an actor.

Do you do things that get you sweaty? Do you make them do what you like? Do you make them do things to show you how submissive they are? If so, you may be a dom after all.

If every other dom in your neighborhood is making their subs dress up in schoolgirl outfits, so you make yours dress in one - you're letting them dom you. If you've always had a fondness for folks dressed in sweats because they're so easy to reach into, so you make 'em wear sweats to a fetish party, and to hell with how out-of-place they feel - you're domming them.

Mindset is probably the hardest thing for a new dom to 'get' - and certainly the most important. How I feel about the scenes you're proposing is unimportant. How they feel about these scenes is also unimportant. How you feel about them - that's the only important part. Either they'll be thrilled to have you do it your way, or they're not the sub for you - it's as simple as that. Difficult, perhaps - but simple. Do what you please, and make them do what pleases you - that's domination. Everything else isn't.

FWIW, nobody needs a bit of punishment because of a schedule - they need punishment if they've actually misbehaved. What they do need is attention - and if you feel like giving attention by swatting a butt, so be it. If you feel like it'd be fun to go down on them for a while - so be it. Do what you like - that's domination. Doing what someone else thinks you should do - isn't.

Midnight Writer

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/22/2007 11:38:08 PM

touchthesky

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ah, emdoub, that is EXACTLY what i meant by an inate sense. Some are Doms, some just think it sounds good.

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/23/2007 4:52:13 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Whaddya think of this ?

The first part is not practical. But, unless you value practicality, do what you wish.

quote:

If one is a sub, don't they need some type of punishment sometimes ?

Discipline is sometimes necessary, yes.

quote:

What should I do first, after the preliminaries, like getting to know one another a bit. Should I go straight to a verbal type domination, or setting that up, like by giving rules ? Or should I throw her into some very light bondage and see how she takes to it ? (or both ?)

Which one is more important to you for the kind of relationship you are trying to establish? Start with that one first because that is going to be the basis.

Master Fire

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/23/2007 6:16:46 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Whaddya think of this ?

It went something like this:

"Once together, your fulfillment is important to me. And I will never say it again. You will say it to me, and my nod will be the confirmation".

It was something like that.

Here is one possible scenario, the nod means to come to me. Well one day she sees me nod and comes while doing the dishes. Leaves the water running and then gets up and turns it off.

That earns her a swat. Not because she cost me precious pennies in the water bill, but because she cost me precious seconds with her. If not a swat, something.

If one is a sub, don't they need some type of punishment sometimes ? See I am a switch, but I am agreeing to dominate like 90% of the time.

I have topped, but I am a bit of a newbie to real domination.

What should I do first, after the preliminaries, like getting to know one another a bit. Should I go straight to a verbal type domination, or setting that up, like by giving rules ? Or should I throw her into some very light bondage and see how she takes to it ? (or both ?)

I don't know, that's why I ask you. Thanks for anything helpful.

T

Why would you restrict your own speech? That seems impractical to me. We aren't mind readers and we won't always see the nod.

And no, in my opinion subs/slaves don't "need" punishment. It simply depends on the type of relationship that is chosen. Valyraen did not always desire to the control of punishing me and honestly, neither did I. It is very common in BDSM relationships, but it is certainly not required. You are both consenting adults after all.

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/23/2007 7:20:55 AM

Jasmyn

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From: New Zealand
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You identify yourself as a switch...becareful that you don't project your submissive wants on to her before you find out what HER submissive wants are ...work from there.

You ask "if one is a sub, don't they need some type of punishment sometimes?"   Almost correct ... punishment has to have a reason for being ... (the dom) has had to take notice of an action/behaviour, etc he/she didn't like and acted upon it. It is the noticing of something amiss (or good)... and doing something to address it ...that can feed a sub ... no one, subs included, can exist in a vaccuum.

Punishment therefore can be anything you want it to be ... taking your water running scenario ...another way too punish maybe to let the water run ...do with them as you please ... then sending them back to clean up their watery mess.   It's a nice little sadistic twist ..then later that night, later that week, later that month ... bring up it up and spank her ..."I do believe it's time my darling wee wench, that you were punished for leaving that tap running." ..play with it a little, have fun... or (like Midnight Writer said) go down on her ... do what it is you want ...

While it helps if the desire to be dominant seems to be innate, most people who go down this track at some stage will struggle with it. Whether that struggle is getting your head around inflicting pain on another (or even how to) or learning to stand in your own power and been comfortable with it... understand people evolve, if they want to.   Often a complaint is heard, that a dom doesn't let their sub do stuff for them, like he or she will get her own drink rather than ask their sub to do it ... give yourself permission to have stuff done for you ... it's a little selfish ... and sometimes it's just easier to get a drink yourself ...but be aware you have someone there who desires to be of service to you. Be attentive, nuturing, evolved and aware...above all ... be decisive. Whether you're a dominant in a d/s relationship, or a dominant in a b&d scene ... the aphrodisiac is your ability to be comfortably leading.

It's early days ... set times for d/s .... a night, a weekend, a week, whatever ... life has to go on .. and as much adjusting a sub or slave has to do to fit in with a dominant ... so does a dom to have a sub fit into their life ... make time for each other.

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RE: Strange as it is..a Master's speech restriction - 2/23/2007 7:51:18 AM

Celeste43

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Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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I'd have been out of there at I'm only going to say this once. Sorry but being a dom doesn't equate to being cold and emotionally distant. It may be what you need, to protect yourself from being hurt by not being vulnerable but being afraid of that doesn't demonstrate domliness to me. If you don't have the courage to tell her often how important she is to you, then why should she think she is?

As far as the water image goes, that's ridiculous. In such a situation if he gave me a quick swat it would be playfulness not punishment.

You need to decide what you want and what kind of relationship you want and then gain the courage to go after it, even knowing in advance that 999 subs out of a thousand will reject you.

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