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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 2/23/2007 6:55:13 PM

hisannabelle

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i am definitely self-critical, to a fault. being with Him has helped with a lot of that, but it's still present in varying amounts.

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 2/27/2007 6:54:23 PM

sloki

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Both. Because its an inter-action. Not only between the actors but between those actors, the rest of the world and all the time and history that happened up untill that moment.

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 2/27/2007 10:43:42 PM

WhiplashSmile

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"At the lowest point or points in your life..."

Well, I assume you are asking about the point of all time lows here!....

I was angry and blaming myself, and angry with the world at the same time. Not a good happy place to be in at all, when shit is spinning out of control.

In order to regain control... you have to come up with a crisis management plan, execute it, and evaluate it, repeat as needed. Figure out what the hell went wrong in the first place, and evaluate it as well. Sometimes we as humans don't do a good job at risk assessment, or have establish fall back plans when things don't go as planned.

"I don't have it, Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place" - Bender the Breakfast Club

Some people will screw with your screws, and some just fall out naturally. Does not really matter how the screws falls out, it's more important how you deal with it.

It's not a matter of what you did, or who you are!

It's a matter of what you do, and who you will be....

To many people think in terms... "I am what I am"... instead of "I will be what I will be"... where one line of thinking is trapped and hopeless, the other is not. You can't change the past and who you were in the past! You can only control how you think of yourself and your own actions. After all screws fall out all the time... they will in the future as well...

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 2/28/2007 10:59:06 AM

amberhalo

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Joined: 11/18/2006
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i use to blame the world when i was alot younger.
now i ask " what can i learn from this and why was it given to me?"

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 3/1/2007 6:22:09 PM

amayos

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From: New England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: fireflyred
At the lowest point or points in your life, looking back but being as unbiased and unforgiving as possible, did you find yourself blaming the world or yourself?

I find both are usually active culprits in one's fortune or misfortune. One cannot impose his will against an enormous Universe; it will go as it goes, despite his best efforts to the contrary. And yet it is foolish to deny the power of choice in the course of our lives, for there are many times we can alter the course of events in our experience, when we can clearly mark the before and after—the was and will-be—balanced upon the tipping point of a decision we made, an action taken or not taken.

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 3/1/2007 7:35:48 PM

catize

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quote:

Thoughts opinions, describe your outlook on life in regard to this topic of self responsibility/control.

“I woulda gotten away with it……..if it weren’t for those meddling kids…….and that dog!”

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"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 3/1/2007 8:06:26 PM

SusanofO

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I just got it. This is really a talk about "boundaries" and how they apply to D/s relationships. Isn't it?
If so, Interesting topic.

Guess I'd suppose people will be human and screw up (as always), but I suppose they can also teach eachother a few things. I've learned things from people who I felt treated me abominably before, and it wasn't just that I should never have become involved with them. I suppose there is always a silver lining among the clouds, if you want to look for one.

I think there might be some pressure felt by some Dominant/Domme/Master/Mistress and submissive/slave folk to be "perfect". Hope for their own sake they can define their own boundaries pretty clearly, so as not to maybe screw someone up emotionally unduly, but "perfect" just isn't gonna ever happen, IMO.

P.S. I realize that is a vague answer, but I am tired, and not thinking real deeply just now (guess we know which "type" I am then, due to this little apology for that, hehe).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 3/1/2007 8:20:26 PM >

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And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 3/1/2007 8:22:33 PM

ArgoGeorgia

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I blame myself for things I know I did, but if someone else screwed up I will try to call them on it. I used to try to be the martyr and take the blame for much more than I deserved, and still do at times. But with the help of a good friend who helped point this out I'm working on that.

And, I try not to ever regret. Even if I royally screwed up, I just chalk it up as lesson learned and drive on. Regret is a huge waste of energy.

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 3/2/2007 11:59:16 AM

xBullx

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Greetings,

Yes.

Bull..............mooooo

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Live well,

Bull

I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 3/2/2007 1:39:13 PM

SirDraven

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Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Atlanta GA
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I am very critical. Myself. Others. Situations and so on. I am most critical of Myself. This is one those posts that can be summed up by My signature line below. I set the standard. I call the shots. I control everything in My life. (In theory at least)

Having someone kneel at your feet and serve you should be the most humbling experience. How can I Master someone else's life if Mine is chaotic?

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Before One can Master others they must first Master themselves.

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 3/2/2007 4:28:28 PM

brightblueyes

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Well, I like to take responsibility for my actions. I have been doing that alot lately since I can't keep my mouth under control, lol. So many lessons to learn and so little time

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 3/3/2007 11:57:31 AM

Hime

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From: Vegas
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The moment an individual realizes that he or she has a "choice" that they can make, they become empowered by the possibilites before them. Choose to change or Choose to accept....thus, Create your own Destiny!

~ xoxo

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RE: Are you self-critical or do you blame others? - 3/4/2007 9:56:44 AM

gentlethistle

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Everything is aways all my fault (yup, including that war in Iraq).

But even with hindsight I still think I did the best that I could at the time when I made my mistakes. I made them for a reason...I was trying to do something right and screwed up something else instead. I don't really blame myself for that, and I don't blame anyone else either. It's the complexity of life. There are too many simultaneous equations, and if you find the perfect variable values to solve a few of them it's odds on that several of the others blow up in your face.

Laura

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