This Clinton wears the pants in the family -- and keeps them *on* in the Oval Office.

Out: "Don't Stop." In: "Ice Ice Baby."

This time, America, you're taking that Universal Health Care medicine -- or you'll stay in your room until you do!

President battles House Speaker over whose cycle will synchronize with whose.

White House bathroom magazines under Hillary:
    the Nation, Mother Jones, the Progressive.
White House bathroom magazines under Bill:
    Hustler, Barely Legal, Juggs.

All the veracity we've come to expect from a President Clinton, only this time unencumbered by personal charm.

Socks the cat replaced by Fin, the man-eating great white.

Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Michael Savage, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and hundreds of other conservative pundits are found dead in a mass suicide at a private mansion in the Hamptons.

No sax in the Oval Office.

The vast nationwide pet programs of previous First Ladies will pale in comparison to the new First Gentleman's campaign to teach sex education, one American at a time.

White House sex scandals 75 percent less cigarier.

The only illegal tapping going on in the White House is when a group of coeds takes a tour.

Bill: Tried it once but didn't inhale.
Hillary: Tried it once but didn't swallow.

Now when the White House leaks a secret, it's strong enough for a man... but made for a woman!

President Hillary not nearly as well-liked by conservatives as Bill was when he was president.

and the Number 1 Difference Under President *Hillary* Clinton...

"I did not have sexual relations with that man, Mr. Clinton."

quote:

Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Michael Savage, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and hundreds of other conservative pundits are found dead in a mass suicide at a private mansion in the Hamptons.